Month: October 2023

Posted in Life

Sold! The dopamine rush

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Sticker Mule on Unsplash

I picked up my phone, it came to life and greeted me with an eBay notification, “Your item has sold. Ship now.”

So I sold a book for a couple of bucks. No big deal, right? Who knew something so simple could produce such a dopamine rush?

It’s addictive. What else can I sell? We don’t have to throw stuff out to “minimalize” our home. We’ll just sell everything! Books, shoes, clothing, kitchen utensils, knick-knacks, jewelry, picture frames. It’s like having a garage sale that goes on for months rather than just a Saturday morning.

I’m not making a whole lot of money. A couple of bucks here and there. But I love packing up an item, labeling it and dropping it off at the post office or shipping store. I’ve started collecting boxes, padded envelopes, bubble wrap, and packing tape. I’m ready.

Most days, nothing happens. Sometimes nothing happens for a month or two. Just when I think, “Well, I guess that’s not going to sell,” a buyer pops up. I don’t know that person. I don’t know why they’re buying my merchandise. Who cares? A complete stranger triggers that rush that makes me look and think, “What else can I sell?” On trash collection day I see items on the curb and think, “I wonder what that would sell for?”

It’s easy to find out. I can “shop” for just about anything on eBay and find it for sale. We had an antique wooden butter churn that too up too much space amongst out farmhouse decor. I knew nothing about it. I searched eBay and found a dozen just like it for sale. I priced mine a few bucks cheaper and sold it in a week. I’ve sold a yucky looking five gallon lard can (another antique), a gently-used instant-read thermometer I didn’t need anymore, collections of toys the grandkids weren’t interested in anymore, costume jewelry, and cheaply made clothing not worth returning to somewhere in China.

I’m not the only one who’s into selling. There’s a special bin at the post office for pre-labeled boxes and it’s usually filled to the brim. Many of the items are in eBay envelopes and boxes.

I’ve bought a few things, too. Again, there’s that rush when you get a thirty-dollar book for a buck plus shipping. Or when you win an auction and get those once-worn hundred dollar shoes for $19.

It’s like a game with over a hundred million players. Whether buying or selling, I feel like I’m winning!

Posted in Life

Look at all those cardboard boxes

Posted on by William Douthwaite

On my early morning walks I’ve been impressed with the amount of cardboard in recycling bins in my neighborhood. I’ve learned a lot about my neighbors ands they’ve probably learned a lot about me.

We do a lot of shopping, and just about everything comes in a cardboard box. So I know who’s just bought a new TV, vacuum cleaner, printer, or set of put-it-together-yourself furniture. I know who gets meal kits delivered. Diaper boxes reveal who has babies. Homes with dogs have Chewy boxes on the curb. Toy boxes announce weekend birthday parties. I know what kind of beer and seltzer you drink, whether you prefer Costco or Sam’s Club, and the sugary cereal you feed your kids (or consume yourself). I never realized how much privacy you surrender when you conscientiously recycle!

Not only does everything come in a cardboard box, but everything usually comes in a large cardboard box. I know you’ve purchased small items online that were delivered in boxes ten times their size, padded with yards of paper or plastic bubbles. I imagine it’s easier to ship items that way rather than have many different sized boxes on hand. It just makes it more challenging to get all that cardboard broken down and fit into a modest recycling bin.

I’ll admit that I’ve been putting less cardboard into my recycling bin lately. That’s because I’ve been reusing all my boxes to ship items I’ve been selling online. I’ve discovered the demand for used books, toys, and household goods, so I’m thankful for all those cardboard boxes delivered to my front porch each week.

Cardboard boxes aren’t a new thing. The first cardboard boxes were used in England over 200 years ago. Why does it seem like there are so many more of them? We’re buying more and more stuff!

Posted in Life, Moments of grace

Focus on the good stuff

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Why is it so easy to see the negative?

I just sanded, stained, and sealed a butcher block counter top for an island in our kitchen. Rather than enjoying the finished project, I spent way too much time noticing the little imperfections. Every time I looked at it, I could see spots where the stain was too light. Or a rough spot wasn’t sanded smooth. Or the sealer didn’t quite cover an edge.

I know. Perfection is always just out of reach.

  • When you listen to live music, you hear the mistake rather than the thousands of correct notes.
  • The lawn looks so good, except for that one weed.
  • The stylist has done a wonderful job, except for that one hair you have to trim at home.
  • When you look in the mirror, the only thing you see is that pimple.
  • One misspelled word ruins a wonderfully written essay.
  • Rather than enjoying your detailed car, you only notice the ding in the door.

I always notice the imperfections in the things that I write. Others don’t see it. But I always do. Every time. Why is that?

In a similar vein, it is all too easy to see and point out the goofs in the work of others.

  • A speaker who keeps saying, “Um” or “Uh.’
  • A painter who missed a spot.
  • “That was stupid.”

We live in a world of perfection. Every photo is retouched. Colors are enhanced. Videos are edited. Grammarly scans our paragraphs. Actors repeat scenes 10, 20, or 30 times to get it right. Auto-tune makes vocals sound amazing.

When Covid hit and the church closed its doors, it was so hard to livestream my sermons. Even though I was used to live preaching, the camera in front of me made me aware of every flaw, miscue, and mistake. In those moments there’s not editing, do-overs, or mulligans. You just put it out there. Never perfect. Deeply flawed.

Think about it. A tiny flaw can make a coin or postage stamp valuable. Imperfection is coveted. Why doesn’t every one value our errors?

I had some friends who loved to show off their car. It was a beauty for sure. One day, they came and told me that they had won a car show. But they had only gotten 99 out of 100, because of a speck of dust beneath a speaker cover. Wow. My car has never been half that clean!

I took my car to a car wash place to have it detailed before I went to trade it in for a new car. The detailers did an amazing job. The dealer hardly looked at it at all. Does it run? Does the AC blow cold? Let’s make a deal.

I remember talking to someone whose dementia was robbing them of their memories. The things they remembered included regrets and failures instead of amazing stories about adventure, friendships, and experiences.

I’m glad God reminds us to focus on those things that are pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8). Otherwise, we’d spend way too much time focusing on the negative and forget all the good stuff God has given us!

So today, take a few moments and ask yourself, “What made me smile today? What brought me joy? What blessings did I receive?” Focus on the good stuff.

Posted in memories, Ministry

Visiting: Not as easy as it looks

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Image by Freepik

I wish I had kept count of how many people I visited in hospitals and nursing homes as a pastor. Very few weeks went by that I didn’t have someone to go see.

Some of those visits were very hard to make. I had to jump through a lot of hoops just to get in a building or room.

Like Ray, who was in a nursing home during the pandemic. When the doors finally opened for visitors again, I had to call and make an appointment to come and see him. One visitor per day. Period. When I arrived, I had to take a Covid-19 test. Once that read negative, they took my temperature and had me complete a health questionnaire. A nurse took me into a bathroom to show me how to and then watch me wash my hands properly. And this was for an outdoors visit. I sat at one end of a folding table set up in the front yard of the facility, wearing my mask, while Ray was wheeled out to sit at the other end. Conversing from eight feet away was okay, as long as there wasn’t too much traffic on the road. I confess, when I thought no one was looking, I snuck over and gave him Holy Communion.

Or Wyatt, born at the twenty-sixth week of mom’s pregnancy. I had to scrub in like a surgeon before I went into the neonatal intensive care unit with his mother. I was covered with gown, cap, booties, gloves, and a mask. He was covered with all kinds of wires and tubes. But I got to hold and pray over a little guy who came into the world three months before his birthday. When I saw him last year, he was a handsome thirteen year old young man.

I’ve only made a couple of visits to the jail. First, the person had to put my name on a list as an approved visitor. Then I had to make an appointment on his only weekly visitation day. Upon arriving, I had to put my belt, ring, watch, wallet, and keys in a special locker assigned to me. All that just so I could sit on the other side of thick glass window and speak to someone over a telephone handset for ten minutes.

Another visit during the Covid-19 pandemic was to Mark, hospitalized and in bad shape. He was in a room in a dedicated Covid wing. He could only have one visitor per day at a designated time. His wife surrendered her usual visit so I could go and see him. This visit required I sign a waver that I understood the risks I was taking. I then dressed in a sterile gown, cap, booties, gloves, mask, and protective goggles. I had to pass through two special sets of doors before I got to the hallway where his room was. After the visit, I had to take off all my protective gear in a special area before leaving that isolation wing.

Every visit was interesting, nerve-wracking, and educational. I left each place with a greater appreciation for health-care workers, prison guards, medical technology – and Jesus. After all, this is the exactly world he stepped into so he could be with, love, and save us.