I had a new barber cut my hair yesterday. Same shop, just a new guy who started with them a few months ago. He was talkative and very witty. It was an unusual day, a rainy afternoon, and I was the only one in the shop.
According to his business card next to his clippers and combs, his name was Lefty. He starts out with, “So what are we doing today, Mr. full head of hair?”
I replied, “The guys usually use the number five attachment on the clippers for the side, then blend a little off the top. Tapered in the back. Not too short so I can still comb it.”
He said, “So, some bulk reduction, shape it up, got it. You know, I wish I could say that to my girlfriend. I love her, but she could use a little ‘bulk reduction.’ For some reason I always end up with bigger than usual women.”
He went on, “When I met her, she asked my last name. I told her it was Kaplan. She said, ‘Wow, I never met a real Jew before!'”
I shared that I had a lot of Jewish friends at college. I was always a little envious of all the Jewish festivals they got to celebrate.
“Yeah,” he said, “There’s that. But the food is terrible. Try choking down some gefilte fish mixed with matzah balls. No thanks.”
Changing the subject he asked, “So what do you do?”
I told him I was a retired pastor. He said, “I guess I better watch what I say.” And then he told me a few jokes about priests and nuns.
I said, “Now that I’m retired, I get to hear all the good jokes no one would tell me before.”
Lefty told me he was a stylist in Miami for most of his career. He retired and moved up here, but he was still cutting hair a few days a week. He did a good job, and his standup routine is pretty good, too.
Waite for it... 