Category: children

Posted in children, Devotions, Through the Bible Devotions

Let’s make a deal

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Artur Kornakov on Unsplash

A “through the bible” devotion from Genesis 25.

When Rebekah gives birth to twins boys, she and Isaac give them names to fit the situation. The oldest has a lot of red hair, so they name him Esau, which means “hairy.” The younger twin is born holding onto his older brother’s heel, so of course they name him Jacob, which either means “follower” or “deceiver,” and sounds a lot like the word for “heel.”

The boys obviously weren’t identical twins. Esau liked to hunt and be out in the field. Jacob could most often be found around their tents, a homebody, I guess.

One day, when Esau comes home exhausted, he asks for some of the red lentil stew that Jacob is cooking. Jacob seizes the opportunity and says, “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll trade you a bowl of stew for your birthright.” I’m not sure if they could legally do that, but Esau couldn’t care less about his status as the primary heir. He’s hungry. He takes an oath and gets the stew. The punchline: “Esau despised his birthright.“ (Genesis 25:34)

“Despised” is a strong word. Esau and Jacob were doing what brothers do. As kids they no doubt argued, wrestled, and tried to get each other in trouble. It’s quite entertaining to watch my grandchildren try to manipulate and take advantage of each other. We don’t teach our kids how to do that. It just comes naturally.

Paul would write about those who forget who they are, who set their minds on earthly things, “whose god is their appetite” (Philippians 3:18-20). We’re guilty of that when we focus on this life and lose sight of eternity. In a sense we despise our inheritance in heaven. And you know what? It just comes naturally.

So God keeps reminding us that we are his children. “See how great a love the Father has given us, that we would be called children of God; and in fact we are!” (1 John 3:1)

Posted in children, grandparenting

The sandbox

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Ostap Senyuk on Unsplash

“Grandpa, can you open up the sandbox?”

Now that’s a great idea. And then my three-year-old granddaughter added, “And can you make a volcano?”

“Of course,” I answered. I tilted the wooden sandbox lid up and leaned it against a nearby tree, not sure what I would find inside. I think it’s been six months since I’ve had the cover off. Who knows what I’ll find inside?

The sand was surprisingly clean. I raked out a few pine needles and we were ready to go. The dogs were the first to start digging around in the sand. They were convinced a lizard or frog was in there somewhere. They were probably right, but we didn’t find either that day.

The two older granddaughters (ages five and three) began peppering me with questions.

  • “Can you find us something to sit on?” (I brought out a few step stools.)
  • “Do you have any shovels?” (I got out the bag of sand toys, filled with buckets, shovels, and castle molds.)
  • “Where are you going to sit, Grandpa?” (I just plop down in the sand.)
  • “Why are you in bare feet, Grandpa?” (It’s Florida; I’m often in bare feet. But the girls like to wear socks.)
  • “Can you make a mountain?” (I started shoveling sand in to a big pile in the center of the sandbox.)

The littlest granddaughter, making her sandbox debut, quickly discovered that sand doesn’t taste good. I put her back in the grass with a few toys.

We’ve had a five-by-five foot sand box in our backyard for years. I wondered, “Who came up with the idea of a sandbox? Who invented this?”

The first “sandbox” in America was just a pile of sand in a church yard so children had a safe place to play in Boston’s North End in the late 1800’s. They borrowed the idea from Germany, where Berlin’s kindergarten students had “sand gardens” to play in around the city.

As a child, family vacations to the Jersey shore meant lots of time playing on the beach, digging holes and building castles in the sand. Sand is a medium with infinite possibilities. It is easy to dig, pile, shape, rake, plow, and mold. Add a little water and you can create “dribble” towers of sand or castle moats. If you don’t like what you’ve created, it’s easy to start over.

So why not have a backyard beach, bordered by four pressure treated boards and filled with many bags of play sand? Every mountain I make is quickly crushed by stomping feet. Buried stones become precious gems to mine in the depths of the sandbox. Dribble castles reach higher and higher till they dry out and collapse. Wet dog noses are covered in sand. Time passes quickly in the sandbox. Before you know it, it’s time to wash up for lunch or dinner.

I’ve yet to outgrow the sandbox. When the grandkids are here, that’s where you’ll find me.

Posted in children, grandparenting

It’s a wrap: preschool graduation

Posted on by William Douthwaite

It’s been seven years since I attended a preschool graduation. The church closed the preschool in 2017 due to declining enrollment. One grandson missed out on preschool commencement due to Covid. But today a granddaughter proudly stood with her classmates as they finished up a year of voluntary prekindergarten and looked forward to kindergarten next fall.

If you’ve ever had to chance to attend, you know it’s so much more than just walking across the stage for a photo with your teachers. The program begins with performances from toddlers, two-year olds, and three-year olds. They each had a few songs for a packed house of parents, siblings, grandparents, and other family. Each class was all smiles as they waved, squirmed, sang, and danced to some of their favorite songs.

After the little ones had been safely returned to their families, it was time for the main event. Two dozen four and five year olds in blue graduation robes, filed in and took their places on the platform. As each spotted their families in the audience, they waved and broke into huge smiles. The teachers made sure everyone was in place and facing forward as they began to sing and dance.

After a few songs from each of the two classes, all were seated as each name was called and they went up the steps onto the platform to receive hugs and a blue mortarboard with tassel. The teachers then stood on either side of each student for the official graduation photo. After everyone had been recognized, we got to hear a few more songs before more photos with family and friends. Finally, everyone got what they really wanted: a juice box and a bag of cookies.

I never had a preschool graduation. I didn’t attend preschool. In fact, my kindergarten was only half day. Real school didn’t begin until first grade in the 1960s. I also didn’t have a sixth-grade promotion into junior high or 9th grade graduation into high school. My first graduation experience was high school.

Preschool graduation was one of the most fun things I got to do as a pastor at a church with a preschool. I knew all the students from weekly chapel, led them in songs, and was thankful we could make a difference in the community simply by teaching them colors, shapes, letters, and the love of Christ.

Posted in children, toys

Tired of toys, so they played with rocks

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Ramazan Ilyasov on Unsplash

We had our three granddaughters – ages 5, 3, and one – spend the night with us last Friday. We’ve got enough toys at our house to start a preschool, so I knew they would stay busy.

The most popular toys on our shelves have always been the popular toys. The first bin they open is the pretend food, especially the ice cream cones. In minutes, they are ready to take orders and serve up everything from burgers to eggs to ice cream sundaes. The ring of a small bell is followed by, “Order up!” over and over and over again.

They always pull out the toy power tools, too. They are all about do-it-yourself with a jigsaw, drill, reciprocating saw, and a flashlight. Everything in the house is subject to repair or remodeling.

We’ve got a basket of baby toys for the one-year-old, but everyone else likes to play with these, too. Rattles, plastic stacking donuts, and colorful shaky-things keep all ages busy.

On this occasion, they pulled out the dress-up dolls. I haven’t seen these for a while. Hundreds of clothing combinations magnetically stick to the figures. They also end up all over the floor.

But then the older girls discovered the rocks in the backyard garden. Naturally, they started a rock collection. Most of the 1-1/2 inch white river rocks look the same. But before you know it, their collect filled five small plastic baskets.

Doesn’t everyone collect rocks as a kid? Egg cartons make the perfect display cases. A creek just beyond the backyard was the best place to find rocks when I was growing up. My friends and I were fascinated with the mica and shale we could peel into thin slices. We brought home all shapes and sizes of quartz. Since we learned about the hardness scale in school, we felt quite knowledgable about rocks.

Collecting rocks is more difficult in Florida. The soil is sandy and almost rock-free. So we buy decorative rocks to put in our yards. And for kids to play with.

For some reason, kids love to play with rocks. When we are young we just have to throw them. We toss them up in the air, at each other, or, of course towards a window, until our parents step in to ruin our fun. The grandsons have been taking our landscape rocks and tying them to the end of sticks with some palmetto leaf strips to make hammers and axes. My backyard is littered with the little survivalists’ collection of tools and weapons.

Parents and grandparents spend a lot of money on toys. We could save a few bucks if we watched what the children really play with: a boxes, sticks, and rocks!

Posted in children, Life

Story time: The fountain of youth

Posted on by William Douthwaite

Story time at the library was packed. When my grandson and I got in line, there were twenty preschoolers, parents, and grandparents ahead of us. There were enough sitting mats to go around, and we found our spot near the front of the room. I’m glad we did, because I enjoyed the three stories as much as anyone else in the room. Especially The Good Egg.

The Good Egg by Jory John and Pete Oswald made me laugh out loud over and over. It’s about a dozen eggs, one of who is good, joined by eleven others who misbehave and cause trouble. The good egg gets so stressed out trying to be the good one that his shell starts to crack. So he takes some time away for self care. Relaxation, meditation, and new hobbies soon have him feeling much better. But he’s lonely, so he heads back to join the others, having learned that you don’t have to be perfect in an imperfect world.

I am certain the children didn’t appreciate the story as much as the adults. We’re the ones who struggle with perfectionism, being judgmental, and putting up with difficult people. We grownups need to be reminded that a little self-care improves our capacity to understand the care for others, too.

I left story time wanting to read more children’s books. I want to read them to my grandchildren and for my self. I appreciate creative words and illustrations inspires my inner child and entertains the little one sitting in my lap.

When we grow up, we no longer see the world with the wonder, imagination, and curiosity of a child. But a children’s story can restore all of that like a fountain of youth.

I’m thankful my grandson likes to take me to story time.

Posted in children

More prepositions

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Tanaphong Toochinda on Unsplash

I get to spend a few hours watching two of my one-year old grandchildren each week. They are both at the age where they notice, investigate and taste everything. They spend all their time discovering new skills, flavors and sounds. They constantly learn new ways of moving, communicating and manipulating. Their lives are best characterized by prepositions: in, out, up, down, over and under.

An hour of watching my granddaughter do that instilled in me a new desire to do the same. Much of my day is familiar, routine and habitual. But it doesn’t have to be. I am certain there are many tastes and smells, motions and skills, sounds and places yet to be discovered. I just need to add a few more prepositions to my day!

Order something different to put in my mouth. Put on some headphones and listen to a different kind of music. Climb up on the roof and see what’s going on around my neighborhood. Get down on the ground and see the world from a toddler’s perspective. Go out of my way to talk to someone I don’t know.

I can’t remember where I saw it, but I clearly remember the sign: “Don’t grow up. It’s a trap!” How true. I’m a little jealous of those who get to be full-time little ones. I’ll have to work hard to let my inner kid out more often. More prepositions. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Posted in children, shopping

A convenience and a delight!

Posted on by William Douthwaite

At some point while raising my childen, a trip to the “corner store” became a special destination. I think we went there as a reward for good behavior, maybe after a good report card, or sometimes combined with a trip to the library. The corner store was nothing more than the gas station convenience store a few miles down the road. At least that’s how it looked through my adult eyes. Why does it have a special appeal when you’re growing up?

Just walk in the door and you’ll remember. It’s aisles and aisles of candy, cookies, soda, icees, chips, nuts, hot dogs, donuts, and ice cream. It’s every treat you can imagine crammed into a very small piece of real estate, practically heaven on earth. Even as an adult, just walk in the door and your eyes are drawn to coffee, beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, as well as all the things listed above. Like I said, heaven on earth!

These folks know what they are doing. They know that as soon as you walk past all of that on your way to the bathroom, you’ll definitely buy something on the way out. The store won’t make much money on gas, but the profit on snacks and soda is huge.

Yes, these folks know what they are doing. That’s why the Buc-ees franchise will do very well as it moves out of Texas into other states, including my home state of Florida. Before long, we’ll have two Buc-ees within half an hour drive of my home.

Yes, technically Buc-ees is a gas station convenience store, but it is about the size of three Walmart stores. It has all the heavenly treats mentioned above plus clothing, furniture, souvenirs, toys, sporting goods, tools and automotive supplies and more. Though we stopped at Buc-ees just outside of Dallas to fuel up for our ride home, we left with nuts, barbecue sandwiches, some homemade potato chips, kolachis and a tub of chicken salad. And we saw Buc-ee the beaver himself, who was making an appearance at the store. Buc-ees is much more than a convenience store. It’s a destination for a fun family outing. Yes, everything is bigger in Texas, espcially the convenience store.

I remember when a 7-11 was built in my hometown of Ridley Park probably sometime in the 1960’s. We thought that was the coolest thing ever. Imagine, a convenience store open from early in the morning til late at night! You could go just about any time to get milk or bread or soda. And they had Slurpees. They were new and they were fantastic! I don’t know how they made them then and I don’t know how they make them now, but I still think they are delicious.

Just a few years ago, the Wawa chain began building stores in Florida. People here went berserk. I couldn’t figure out what the big deal was. I grew up a few miles from the dairy farm that would become the “town” of Wawa. Back then, life was shifting from having milk delivered to your home in a glass container (now that was convenience!) to going to a Wawa store to buy a gallon in a plastic jug.

As a grown-up, I mostly avoid convenience stores. For me they are a necessary travel evil. Sometimes the bathrooms are clean-ish. But not often. Sometimes the coffee is tolerable. But not often. Sometimes you get to see Buc-ee the beaver. But not often. However, the kid in me is hopeful.

Posted in children, grandparenting

What a great box!

Posted on by William Douthwaite

When I arrived at my daughter’s house the other day to watch her boys for a few hours, there was a box at the front door that must have just been delivered. I brought it inside with me and there were puzzled looks because no one remembered ordering anything. Inside was some swag my son-in-law had won at work, a nice perk. Plus – a nice box.

As soon as he unpacked the content of the box, one of my grandsons climbed in and curled up. He almost fit in the box! He then turned it over and hid underneath the box, as if he were some kind of turtle. Then both boys climbed in the box and rocked around like they were in a boat of some sort. It was as if someone had flipped the creativity switch in their little minds and turned an ordinary, reused box into the toy of the year!

And then I had a flashback. Suddenly it was 1990, I was living in Connecticut, and I was taping together all kinds of larges cardboard boxes to form a fort or spaceship or castle for my two older children when they were of preschool age. We fashioned doors from the ends, cut windows in the sides, colored pictures and furniture inside and created a playscape that entertained them for days. I don’t know if they remember that time, but in my mind it’s like yesterday.

Why is it that the container is more fun than the contents? This is a profound question for parents and grandparents who invest a lot in toys for our kids and grandkids. Is it because of the creative possibilities? A single box can be any number of different vehicles, structures or projectiles. Is it because you can go for broke? In other words, if you destroy the boxes, who cares? It was destined for recycling anyway! Is it because they are bigger than you and you can get in them? You can step into an alternate reality if you’ve got a box to play in!

The best box we ever had delivered to our house was about 5 ft. x 4 ft. x 2 ft. It was filled with packing peanuts and…wait for it…a tuba. My son was going to music school, needed a decent tuba and we bought one from the Baltimore Brass Works. They delivered the instrument to our home and dropped it off in front of the garage. I don’t remember what we did with that box or all those packing peanuts. But I’d like to buy another tuba just to take delivery and see the look on my grandchildren’s faces when they see that box and imagine the possibilities!

Posted in children, communication

Learning to communicate

Posted on by William Douthwaite

So I’m learning how to communicate with someone who can’t communicate. I’m talking about my three-week old granddaughter. I’m fascinated by one who can’t speak or understand a word, yet can communicate so much.

Her face, cries and body language effectively communicate discomfort, curiosity, recognition, surprise, anger and contentment. She responds to voice, music, touch, motion, a breeze, and a smile. Without speaking a word, we communicate very well with each other!

In contrast, there are many adults I speak with who completely misunderstand my words. Or sometimes as I listen I have no idea what someone is talking about.

So one of my “blessings du jour” is learning to communicate – from someone who herself is just learning how to communicate! My granddaughter reminds me to watch the eyes, the mouth, the hands and the feet. Those parts of the body speak non-verbal volumes. She also reminds me to listen to the pitch, the timbre, and the volume of the voice. Or the silence. When I pick her up and she suddenly calms down, it’s clear that she just needed to be held. Words weren’t necessary. But human touch was. My nose tips me off to what she needs, too. (And you know exactly what I’m talking about!)

Much of my work as a pastor is communication. I preach the word in season and out of season. I proclaim the excellencies of the one who called me out of darkness into his marvelous light. I’m ready to give a reason for the hope I have. I teach. I listen as a person confesses their sin, and then speak absolution. I have ears to hear God’s word. And I not only call upon him in the day of trouble, but I pray, praise and give thanks.

I am still learning how to do all these things, from someone who is also learning to communicate!