Posted in Life

Worship musician

A couple of months ago, the pastor asked me if I could fill in and lead the praise worship service when he and his wife were out of town for a conference. Another guitarist and bass player joined me as I led the songs a couple of Sundays ago.

I’ve led the music before when other musicians were sick or out of town. On those Sundays, I also preached and taught a bible class. But on this occasion, I would only be doing music. The other tasks were covered by another fill-in pastor.

This was the first time my only job was the music. I picked the songs, led rehearsal, and was the one leading the congregation in song that Sunday morning. These are my reflections on the experience.

For me, the focus required for musical performance engages a different side of my brain from the preaching task. The latter is more of an intellectual endeavor. Music comes from my creative side. In preaching, I am engaging with the listeners. With a guitar and my voice, I find I engage more with the music.

With enough practice, much of performing happens on autopilot. My fingers automatically respond to the chords I see on the page. I picked familiar songs so the sounds that come from my mouth have long been stored in my brain. Most of the tempos came from a rhythm machine. My breath comes from my diaphragm and my vocal chords feel relaxed and resonant. I hate to admit it, but it’s very mechanical.

Someone is running the soundboard, making sure all the voices and instruments are balanced and heard. While someone is reading, preaching, and praying, I am trying to listen, but I am mostly thinking about when I will play next. I am suddenly aware that it’s really hard for any musician to fully engage in worship.

I appreciate all who supply music for worship on a weekly basis. It’s fun to do once. I’m not sure I’d want to do it week after week. Preach? I did it weekly for many years. But that’s a whole different task. I think I’ll reflect on that next time.

Posted in Life

They moved everything around

Photo by Hanson Lu on Unsplash

I go to the grocery store enough that I’m on autopilot. I often buy the same things, I know where to find them in the store, and I’m out the door in no time.

One of the items on my list: cocoa powder. That’s in the baking aisle which is just past all the spices and oils. Except it wasn’t. When I got down to the end of the aisle where I knew the cake mixes, chocolate chips, and cocoa powder was, I was all turned around. Actually, I wasn’t turned around. The store aisle was.

The previous night, store management decided to move items around. Now the cake mixes were near the front of the store, along with the cocoa powder, and all the spices and oils were at the back of the store.

Why would they change everything around?

Of course, I consulted the oracle, Google, to find out. My guess was right. If management can keep you in the store longer looking for the items on your list, you’ll make more impulse purchases and they’ll get more of your money.

Since the self-checkout lanes were full, I checked out with a live cashier. She asked me if I found everything, because the store had been rearranged. I had, but it was nice of her to ask. I guess I wasn’t the only puzzled customer to pass by that day.

I’ll bet every detail in the store is intentional. From the music in the background to the appearance of the employees to the colors of the displays, everything is designed to persuade me to spend money. The merchandising folks know their stuff. I guess it’s better to say they know people and how to influence our behavior.

I once again know where everything is. For now.

Posted in Life

Mixing it up at the gas pump

Photo by Redd Francisco on Unsplash

I didn’t hear the bell, but suddenly, both fighters came out of their corners and began swinging. Sort of.

I wasn’t ringside at an octagon. I was just pumping gas at BJ’s Wholesale. I was feeling pretty good about filling the tank with fuel that cost about twenty cents less than the Racetrack just a few blocks away. My reverie was shattered when the woman on the other side of my pump released a barrage of obscenities at the guy in a white pickup truck directly in front of her.

She had finished her purchase, but couldn’t pull forward because the driver of the pickup had pulled right in front of her, blocking her exit. I have no idea why he was there. He just wasn’t moving. First she asked. Then she yelled. Then she started cursing. He didn’t budge. He just shouted right back at her.

Everyone else at the pumps paused to watch them spar. Finally she unloaded several f-bombs, backed up, and left, tires squealing. The man still didn’t move. For some reason, he decided to camp out there for a while. He wasn’t blocking me, so I just pulled away, glad that I wasn’t in the middle of that.

From my experience, most people aren’t happy at the gas pump. I’m not exactly sure why. It could be cost of fuel. It could be that they’ve been in the car together for way too long. Someone usually needs to go to the bathroom right now, but they know it’s going to be disgusting in there. There are people pulling in and backing out, making maneuvering a challenge. Any number of things.

I don’t think I’ve ever gotten into a heated argument with a stranger. I avoid such confrontations, preferring to find a different solution. Some, however, take on all challengers. I’m more than happy to just be a spectator.

Posted in Life

Gratitude and awareness: a wonderful pairing

In a recent newsletter I read, “Noticing sparks gratitude; gratitude sharpens our noticing.” (It might have been Rob Walker’s “The Art of Noticing,” but I haven’t yet found it in my emails.)

I spend a lot of time noticing things on my daily dog walks. Sometimes I count how many houses have a Ring doorbell. Or interesting items at the curb on trash day. I like to whistle back and forth with the birds at dawn. I’m annoyed when I notice newspapers sitting in driveways for weeks.

I have many reasons to be thankful. I’m healthy and can take long walks with the dogs. I live in a safe neighborhood, know a lot of my neighbors, and live where it’s easy to be outside just about every day.

So the cycle of noticing and gratitude resonates with me. When I am tuned in to what’s going on around me, I find new reasons to be thankful. Once I start giving thanks, I begin noticing more things around me I’m thankful for. It’s a good upward spiral that develops both my gratitude and my awareness.

One morning, I notice beautiful colors in the eastern dawn sky. I whisper, “Thank you,” for an amazing sight, for the coolness, and the quiet of the morning. As I see the morning approach, tall pines escape the darkness, and I am thankful that there are still a few lots without houses.

Then I notice how many new houses there are in our neighborhood. I remember building our house decades ago, when these roads were lined with wooded lots. I’m so thankful we were able to build a house where we raised our children.

That’s how it works. Observation directs your mind towards the positive things in your life, spawning gratitude. As you ponder your blessings, you notice more good things around you. Again and again and again.

It’s such a cool concept. I try to initiate the cycle every time I’m out walking, starting with thanks or observation. Give it a try.

Posted in Life

What if no one shows up?

I host and facilitate a weekly online men’s bible study and discussion group. As host, I open up the Zoom room a few minutes before the scheduled start time and wait for everyone to join.

For some reason, it really feels strange being on Zoom all by myself. I sit there for a few moments and look at myself. I make sure I look okay. I brush my hair to the side. I make sure the lighting is okay. I make sure I’m not too close or far away from the camera. I shuffle my lesson papers around.

My mind starts to wonder.

  • What if no one else shows up? What if they all forget that we’re meeting today. I sent out reminders, so that doesn’t seem possible.
  • Maybe I set up the room wrong. No, that’s not possible. I don’t set up that part of the meeting.
  • Maybe everyone is traveling or sick, and can’t make it today. Would all fifteen guys would be indisposed on the same day? Doubtful.
  • Maybe the internet isn’t working right. I check my email. Everything is in order.

<Ding>

The first person shows up, and seconds later, more appear on my screen. All those thoughts drain from my mind, and our group is underway.

Years ago I had some similar analog thoughts. Analog means we actually met in person. I would open up for an appointment, meeting class, and then sit there wondering if anyone would show up. There were times when I got stood up for an appointment. No call, nothing, just a no show. A few of those and you start to get paranoid.

It really only happened a few times. But one time is enough to get your mind racing with all the “What ifs…”

Posted in Life

Gridlock at the grocery store

Photo by Tara Clark on Unsplash

Stopping at the grocery store for just a few items took a lot longer than I planned. The Saturday afternoon gridlock of aisle wanderers lengthened my shopping experience.

First thing on my list is a few containers of frosting from the baking aisle. A man with a cart filled with bags of pretzels (?) paused to look up and down, back and forth at all the boxed cake mixes. I doubt he was there to buy any. He was mesmerized by pictures of picture of delicious cake. I waited a few moments, and when I realized he wasn’t leaving any time soon, I reached up and grabbed what I needed and scooted off to the next aisle.

Or at least I tried. At the end of that aisle was a couple bickering about whether they needed anything in that part of the store. They were stalled out, so I looped around to the other end to get what I needed. They might still be there, deciding if they need air freshener or not.

I thought I could make a quick swing through the meat section for a steak. Nope. A couple of offensive lineman sized female shoppers blocked off my approach from every angle. They certainly had no 40-yard speed to boast about. I decided to return after an attempt at the dairy section.

I had trouble getting near the dairy items, too. Three women were strolling side-by-side past the eggs, lamenting the inflated prices, oblivious to others in the store. There was no way to get by them. I patiently followed until one of them noticed me with a start and said with a note of annoyance, “O, excuse me!” and let me get some butter. I just smiled. At least on the outside.

I am always thankful to leave the grocery store in one piece mentally. It’s not easy, is it. The shopping may be a pleasure, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

Posted in dogs, Life

He never saw it coming

On a recent walk with my Great Dane, I shocked a young man back to reality.

Our two mile loop isn’t far from the community’s middle school, and on this day we were walking right around afternoon dismissal time.

I would guess the young man was in 7th grade, weighed down with a substantial backpack, head buried in his cell phone. As we closed the gap, I shook the leash to jingle her Dane bling, her large metal prong walking collar. He didn’t look up, absorbed in digital conversation.

We stopped, waiting for him to pass by, but he didn’t notice us until he was one foot in front of us. But then he did notice and jumped a foot up and back when he saw the beast staring at eye level, tail whipping back and forth, excited to greet a new friend. He was terrified, nervous, and shouted, “Whoa, I didn’t see you!”

It’s hard not to notice that 115 lb. of dog from 50 feet away. Whatever was on my phone would have to be amazingly absorbing to isolate me from every other reality surrounding me.

When he jumped, I couldn’t help laughing out loud. Sometimes we really worry about who’s watching us and what they think about us. Guess what? They aren’t watching you, they’re not thinking about you, and they don’t even know you’re there.

Not until they come nose to nose with that nose!

Posted in Life

Uh-oh. Now you’re in big trouble

As I sat beneath this welcoming sign outside of Starbucks, I wondered, “How do they enforce these rules?”

If someone from a youth group stopped by and asked for a gift card donation for their summer mission trip fund raiser, would the barista reach under the counter and push the silent alarm button? Do you think the police have a ten code for that?

What do you think counts as “loitering”? A lot of people hang out at Starbucks for a long time, making phone calls, studying for a test, and interviewing for jobs. They use a coffee shop as their office. I suppose you need to buy something if you’re going to spend time there.

The recent remodeling of our neighborhood Starbucks eliminated a lot of seating, making it harder to camp out there.

All of these people were here for a long time. So was I as I watched them. Check out the guy on his second sugary venti drink.

What about trespassing? I guess that would be sitting at the tables after hours. I guess you wouldn’t want someone spending the night under a table out front or out back by the dumpsters.

Signs like this are only hung up when there’s been a problem with people soliciting, loitering, or trespassing. It’s too bad, since the proliferation of signs announcing what you can’t do detracts from really nice parks and buildings. In most places, it seems like you can’t do anything!

Posted in annoying people, Life

“Come on, hit me!”

This isn’t actually her. But you get the idea.

I got to see a Karen in the wild today. She came out of Starbucks with both fingers blazing and a mouth ready to take a bite out of an SUV that was in her way.

Starbucks was crowded inside, so I had to sit outside at a table. The cloud cover made my shady table spot a pretty nice place to enjoy some ice coffee and do some writing. This particular Starbucks is on a busy corner of a shopping center where you’ll hear lots of horn honking on any given day.

A teenage granddaughter carrying a whipped cream topped cold drink came out trying to put some distance between her and grandma. I didn’t think much of it until I saw the older woman standing in front of an oncoming vehicle, yelling, “What are you going to do? Hit me? Go ahead! Hit me! Come on, hit me!” She raised both of her hands and fingers high, demanding the right of way. The SUV rolled to a stop and the surprised driver just sat there watching the show. Grandma finally stomped across the street to her parked car, and traffic started moving again.

I saw the SUV signal to turn in, so I kept watching to see if the situation would escalate. Would the driver get out and confront her? Box her in so she couldn’t get out of the parking lot? Lean on the horn? I secretly hoped so, but nothing happened. Maybe next time.

Next time came really quickly. A vey nice orange Mustang was slowly rolling into the Starbucks parking lot. The driver made sure we could hear the well-tuned exhaust. He was rolling too slowly for the guy behind him, who leaned on his horn. I chuckled as the Mustang slowed down even more, revved his engine a few more times, and stuck his finger up through the open sun roof.

It’s so entertaining to watch all of this. And it’s all over an overpriced cup of coffee. I hope they all ordered decaf. Everyone needed take it down a notch.