Category: Life

Posted in Life

That’s his spot; that’s his job

Posted on by William Douthwaite

This guy is standing on this spot at an intersection near my house every day.

I figure this is his job. He often commutes to this spot on his bicycle. He has an umbrella for shade on a sunny afternoon or to keep dry during an afternoon shower. He must have a decent selection of t-shirts and shorts, because I never see him in the same outfit more than once. He’s clean, and has a nice haircut.

His sign doesn’t look like much. But it folds up quickly should a sheriff’s car drive by. He’s gotten to know a lot of the folks who drive by here, exchanging waves and smiles with them. I assume he takes home a decent amount of money. Otherwise, I’m sure he would move to a different location.

In an ever-changing world, he’s become a constant in our part of town. He’s faithfully in this spot every morning and afternoon. He cleans up all the trash from his spot, some of which isn’t even his. He graciously accepts whatever someone offers him, from a beverage to a few bucks.

I find his presence fascinating. I have little patience for sports teams who simply stand in front of a grocery store with a donation bucket in hand. Come one, guys, can’t you at least try to sell me some cookies or something? I’m suspicious of teams of people with buckets on all corners of a busy intersection. How do I know their organization is legit? Do I want to round up my purchase to support some charity I’ve never heard of? No thank you.

I like this guy. He’s the real deal. He’s not pretending to be anyone or sell anything. He’s not trying to rip you off. He just wants a spare buck or two. Today. Tomorrow. Whenever.

Posted in Life, neighbor, neighborhood

Driving through the ditch

Posted on by William Douthwaite

It was still dark as the Great Dane and I made our usual dawn circuit of the neighborhood. But it was that time of day when cars were starting up as people left for work.

Two sedans, one SUV, and a pickup truck filled one driveway. Brake lights came on as someone started up one of the cars parked in by the other three. We wondered, “What’s he going to do?” I figured another driver would soon come out to either leave first or maneuver a car so the other car could get out.

But no one came out. I watched as the driver kept moving up and back until he could sneak the nose of the car onto his front lawn. This time I wondered out loud, “Where’s he going to go?”

Somehow he snuck the car in between a large tree and the front sidewalk, driving into the front yard. I cringed. It’s been raining a lot, drainage swales are full, and the ground is soft. “There’s no way…”

There was a way. The driver swung around the tree and headed right towards what looked like a fairly deep ditch. I chuckled, “He’s going to get stuck.”

He didn’t. The nose of the car dipped into the stagnant water and up the other side, followed by the rear wheels. I’ll admit, I would have laughed out loud if he ended up straddling the swale. But he didn’t. Somehow he got up and out and zoomed down the road.

“It’s got to be a rental,” I said. I can’t imagine a homeowner driving across their own front lawn. Although, I’ve seen it before on my own street as impatient drivers spun deep tracks across the yard.

Posted in Life

A lot of money for a little bit of trash

Posted on by William Douthwaite

“Hey, if you’re going to Walmart, we need a trash can for the back bedroom.”

“Got it. See you soon.”

The back bedroom is now a scrapbooking, 3D and edible ink printing, and cookie packaging room. I’m constantly carting out paper trimmings, sticker backing, and leftover 3D printing scraps. A trash can back there will be a welcome addition to the room.

At Walmart, I pushed my shopping cart towards the “Home” aisles, where I was sure I’d find a not-too-ugly container. I was right. I had a whole aisle full of them to choose from.

But I was not prepared for the cost of a simple can. The first few metal cans I looked at, with a foot pedal to open the lid, were $49.95. That’s crazy. There must be something cheaper. Right next to them were some that would set me back $80. But they were equipped with a motion sensor, so that the can would open anytime you passed by.

I was ready to give up and go get the rest of my list. But at the other end of the aisle, there were a few $24.95 models. Rather than metal, it was a metallic-looking plastic. It felt flimsy, but I wasn’t going to use it that much, so I went ahead and bought one.

What did I expect? I guess I was hoping to get a basic container for under twenty bucks. Unfortunately, few things I but for around the house cost less than $20!

Ironically, my son had ordered one of those deluxe motion-sensor cans for his kitchen just a month ago. In haste, he had Amazon deliver it to our home rather than his, so I had to return it for him. At his home, the can would get a lot of use, so the investment made sense for him.

Posted in Life

Seafood? No thank you.

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Durenne Loris on Unsplash

Last month, we took my son and his family out to supper at a nice seafood restaurant in Saint Augustine. As we were looking over the menu, I overheard an interesting conversation at an adjacent table.

“I’m allergic to all kinds of seafood. What else do you have?”

The menu was filled with wonderful appetizers and entrees. With dishes ranging from gator tail to butterfly shrimp to the catch of the day, I had a hard time deciding on what to order.

I listened with interest as the waitress explained to the seafood-allergic customer that they had little to offer a hyper-allergenic customer.

Why? Why would you come to a seafood restaurant if you were allergic to all fish and shellfish? What were you thinking? What did you hope would happen?

The boyfriend was beside himself. This was a bad idea. No matter how you look at it, this was going to be a bad night. She’s pissed at you. You’re both hungry. There’s nothing on the menu you can order.

You might as well just go somewhere for dessert.

Posted in Life

Put it on a gift card

Posted on by William Douthwaite

Today, I had the wonderful pleasurof taking a return to the customer service counter at Walmart. The good news is that the line was short. The bad news is that the person ahead of me didn’t have her act together.

The counter person was stoic, helpful, and efficient. The refund amount for the two small cans of diced tomatoes was $1.76. Why did she need to return those? I have no idea.

Oh, and she wanted the refund put on a gift card. Yes, $1.76 on a Walmart gift card. She did not want cash. Or a credit on her card. She insisted on a gift card.

I couldn’t help but wonder why? Why not cash? Why not a one and a little change? Why not a credit on her Visa? Why even bother with such a small refund?

I have no idea. I don’t know what was going through her mind. I don’t know how much food she had or didn’t have at home. I don’t know where she got those tomatoes.

No harm, no foul. The tomatoes were returned. The gift card got a credit. Everyone walked away happy.

Posted in Life, Through the Bible Devotions

Inside out

Posted on by William Douthwaite

As I’m waiting my turn at the ATM, I notice the gentleman ahead of me has his t-shirt on inside out. So naturally I wondered, “What’s going on here?”

He got up early this morning and dressed in the dark, not seeing that his shirt was inside out. Sometimes in a hurry, I’ll fold my t-shirts inside out. I can turn them right side out later. (Unless I forget or I’m not paying attention or it’s dark?)

There is something offensive on the front of his shirt. Rather than choosing another shirt, he just wore it with the image on the inside for a trip to the bank.

Perhaps he was at a restaurant and got some food on the front of his shirt. He’ll change his shirt when he gets home. But for now, inside out will do.

“I’ll bet I could wear my t-shirt inside out and no one would notice.” There’s only one way to find out.

In any event, noticing something like this prompts me to pay more attention when I’m getting dressed in the morning!

Posted in Life

The TV shows I grew up with

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Daily writing prompt
What TV shows did you watch as a kid?
View all responses

This is such an involved prompt! The more I think about it, the more I remember. A few internet searches spark even more memories.

I’m a boomer who grew up in suburban Philadelphia with four television channels. Channel three was NBC, six was ABC, and ten was
CBS. PBS was channel 12, reserved for Sesame Street, Zoom, and Electric Company.

I’ll start with Saturday morning cartoons. We never missed Bugs Bunny. We loved the Flintstones, Wacky Races, Rocky and Bullwink, Johnny Quest, Scooby Doo, and the Jetsons.

Weekday shows before school included Captain Kangaroo (featuring the dancing gear and Mr. Green Jeans), Gene London, Chief Halftown (indian chiefs were still popular back then), and Sally Star (everyone’s favorite cowgirl). All their shows featured Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies.

We also loved Popeye, Top Cat, Hong Kong Fooey, Morocco Mole, Go Go Gophers, and Yogi Bear.

Military shows were popular. We watched Rat Patrol (World War II in northern Africa), Combat, Hogan’s Heroes, McHale’s Navy, Gomer Pyle, and F Troop. My friends and I played plenty of military scenarios, pulling wagons while friends fired 50 caliber guns.

We loved western shows like the Rifleman and Bonaza. When I was five or six, I got a rifle just like the one Chuck Connors, the Rifleman.

I never missed cartoon sitcoms like Tennesee Tuxedok, Quickdraw McGraw, Magilla Gorilla. Go Go Gophers, the Archies, and Josie and the Pussycats.

We also watched real sitcoms like Green Acres, Petticoat Junction, Bewitched, My Three Sons, the Beverly Hillbillies, I Dream of Jeannie, My Favorite Martian, Leave it to Beaver, the Dick Van Dyke Showk Ozzie and Harriet, the Partridge Family, the Brady Bunch, and Mayberry RFD.

Comedy/Variety shows I remember include the Lucy show, the Red Skelton show, the Ed Sullivan Show, the Donna Reed Show, the Carol Burnett Show, and the Jackie Gleason Show.

I also remember adventure shows like Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, Sea Hunt, and Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom.

All of the above was in black and white. My dad didn’t get a color TV until after I went to college in 1972. We didn’t have a UHF antenna, so I didn’t watch the original Star Trek til later in life.

If you play a few seconds of any of the above theme songs, I can identify the show. These shows hooked us into don’t miss weekly viewing. We never missed the next episode of our favorite shows.

Posted in Life

So close, yet so far

Posted on by William Douthwaite

(I don’t really have to write much about this picture, do I?)

We stopped at a small coffee shop after a nice sunrise beach walk. Black for me, vanilla latte for her, two whipped cream pup cups, and a chocolate. chip. muffin.

I’ll be honest. I staged this picture. Willow, our Great Dane, is not a jumper. But she can counter surf with the best of them, flicking her lengthy tongue at a butter dish, salad fork, bowl of pasta, bits of gristle from a steak, or some crumbs from my homemade sourdough bread.

I was not cruel. I gave her a few crumbs. But I put the chocolate muffin just out of reach for this visual effect.

Great illustration, right?

So much of what we want seems so close, but it’s just out of reach. If we just had more money, experience, influence, talent, friends, or whatever, we would have what we want. We would be happy. We woulds be satisfied.

It’s always just out of reach, isn’t it?

That muffin would be gone in a moment. Most of the things we pursue only last a moment. We get it, and then we want something else. We’re never satisfied.

It looks so close, but what we want is so far away.

Posted in lessons, Life

A classic: the cookie scam

Posted on by William Douthwaite

Our cottage bakery got an email asking about a cookie order for a corporate event. Other bakers with similar businesses had described these larger-than-usual orders as the real moneymakers.

Our excitement turned to disbelief once we read his request: “25 dozen of a 4-pack of cookies of different flavors with the company logo printed on it.” I did the math and wondered, “Three hundred four-packs?” That’s 1,200 cookies!

Our three-and-a-half inch printed iced cookies start at $4.00 each. He going to spend $4,800 on cookies? That’s too much. Let’s offer 2-1/2 inch cookies at $2.50 each. It would still be a $3,000 order, but maybe that’s what he wants.

That offer was too much for the event budget. He countered, “How about twenty dozen cookies?”

We replied, “We can do 240 three-inch cookies for $3.00 each, a total of $720.”

He was happy with that order. So were we. That’s still a lot of cookies! Could we deliver to the conference venue in a neighboring town? We said we could.

I emailed him the invoice so we could start on the order. He replied, “Can I pay by e-check?” Of course. Our invoice takes you to a payment site with credit card and ACH options.

But his idea of an e-check was totally different than ours. He wanted to write out a check, take a picture of it, and email the picture to us so we could deposit it using our bank’s mobile deposit option.

Red alert! Defcon 5! Danger, Will Robinson! Are you kidding? There’s no way I’m doing that. A picture of a check does work like the real thing, as long as the bank clears it. There’s the catch. It takes up to a week for that kind of deposit to clear.

I learned that this is a set-up for fraud. Someone sends you a check for more than the agreed upon amount. All you have to do is send them a check for the overpayment. But when their check doesn’t clear, they disappear with whatever money you sent them.

I told him I could only take payment through our payment portal. He said he couldn’t do that, but looked forward to working with us in the future. When I looked him up on the corporate website, guess what? No such guy.

This all happened a few months ago. When I looked back at his emails, the first subject line “Cookies Enquiries” should have clued me in from the start. His request for different “flavours” should have tipped me off, too.

Apparently scams and fraud are business as usual for small businesses. Don’t ever let your guard down.