Category: Life

Posted in dogs, Life

Neighborhood walks and aggressive dogs

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Delphine Beausoleil on Unsplash

I think I’m becoming less and less popular amongst the dog walkers in my neighborhood. I’ve finally gotten my dog – Winston the Westie – to behave when we pass other dogs. But the other dogs haven’t gotten the memo.

I felt horrible the other day as we approached an eighty-plus year old neighbor walking a tiny chihuahua named Queenie. She saw us forty-yards away and was beyond excited. She started for us as he lost control of the retractable leash. I moved to the other side of the street, but the owner had to wrap his arm around a utility pole to keep from being dragged through the water-filled swale. His persistent obscenity-punctuated cries of “Queenie! Queenie!” fell on deaf ears as she fought the leash and lunged ahead.

There was nothing I could do. Whether I turned back to walk home another way or scooted past them as quickly as I could, Queenie wouldn’t give up. Winston was interested, but on a short leash with a prong collar, reminding him to pay attention to me, not her. We made it past and the aggressive barking subsided, but I didn’t want to look back. Next time, we won’t take a chance. I’ll go back home the way I came.

Another neighbor owns two Labrador retrievers, one yellow, one black. I haven’t seen them out walking, but they were out the other evening as Winston and I headed up the street from my house. Once they spotted us, the barking started, followed by frantic pulling to come and check us out. It was all the owner could do to restrain the two eighty-pound bundles of muscle and energy. I would have turned back to go the other way around the block, but when I looked, there was another person walking a German Shepherd I didn’t recognize. Between a rock and a hard place, we walked around the corner to get out of sight.

As he heat of the summer subsides, more and more neighbors have their dogs out for walks. I’ve worked hard to leash train Winston. He’s not perfect, but attentive and manageable. The other dogs? I’ve met a few well-behaved Golden Retrievers and one chill Rottweiler. The rest are out of control. Either they don’t go for many walks or they haven’t been trained.

It’s annoying. I know I’m the one who needs to adjust my route because I’m the one who took the time to train my dog. But I want those dogs to get out and see the world. I don’t think they get out much, and there is so much to smell out there (at least Winston thinks so)!

So, come on, everyone. Train your dog and enjoy some walks!

Posted in Life

He drove past three just for iced tea

Posted on by William Douthwaite

So, you know everyone loves Chick-fil-A. I’ve met people who claim to eat there every day. Many who bemoan the fact that they are closed on Sundays. Plenty of folks love the chicken sandwich. Others really like the coffee. Some are fans of the sweet tea.

A few weeks ago, a friend shared with me that he drove past three Chick-fil-A’s to get to the one who had the best sweet iced tea. Hmm. I had no idea. I assumed that the menu, food and drinks were consistent from restaurant to restaurant. The few times I search for fast food, I go to the nearest one. Okay, one might like the fries at one place better than another. But come on, iced tea? How many variations could there be?

I’m just not that sophisticated. What kind of wine do you like? Red. What kind of coffee do you prefer? Black. Beer? Yes, please.

That’s the world we live in. I will got way out of my way to satisfy my personal taste. A family might drive past dozens of churches to attend one that they connect with. In Dallas, TX, where Tex-Mex food abounds, everyone has their favorite that is worth the drive. I can save a few bucks at that grocery store, even it it is farther away from my home.

For what else do we go far, far out of our way? I’ll go out of my way to eat at a restaurant I have a gift card for. I drive further to the airport where I get a lower priced flight. I’ve driven on back roads to avoid traffic or for a more scenic drive. I’ve taken longer routes to avoid toll roads.

As much as we enjoy convenience, we’ll go out of our way to get what we want, crave, or prefer, won’t we?

Posted in Life

Sold! The dopamine rush

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Sticker Mule on Unsplash

I picked up my phone, it came to life and greeted me with an eBay notification, “Your item has sold. Ship now.”

So I sold a book for a couple of bucks. No big deal, right? Who knew something so simple could produce such a dopamine rush?

It’s addictive. What else can I sell? We don’t have to throw stuff out to “minimalize” our home. We’ll just sell everything! Books, shoes, clothing, kitchen utensils, knick-knacks, jewelry, picture frames. It’s like having a garage sale that goes on for months rather than just a Saturday morning.

I’m not making a whole lot of money. A couple of bucks here and there. But I love packing up an item, labeling it and dropping it off at the post office or shipping store. I’ve started collecting boxes, padded envelopes, bubble wrap, and packing tape. I’m ready.

Most days, nothing happens. Sometimes nothing happens for a month or two. Just when I think, “Well, I guess that’s not going to sell,” a buyer pops up. I don’t know that person. I don’t know why they’re buying my merchandise. Who cares? A complete stranger triggers that rush that makes me look and think, “What else can I sell?” On trash collection day I see items on the curb and think, “I wonder what that would sell for?”

It’s easy to find out. I can “shop” for just about anything on eBay and find it for sale. We had an antique wooden butter churn that too up too much space amongst out farmhouse decor. I knew nothing about it. I searched eBay and found a dozen just like it for sale. I priced mine a few bucks cheaper and sold it in a week. I’ve sold a yucky looking five gallon lard can (another antique), a gently-used instant-read thermometer I didn’t need anymore, collections of toys the grandkids weren’t interested in anymore, costume jewelry, and cheaply made clothing not worth returning to somewhere in China.

I’m not the only one who’s into selling. There’s a special bin at the post office for pre-labeled boxes and it’s usually filled to the brim. Many of the items are in eBay envelopes and boxes.

I’ve bought a few things, too. Again, there’s that rush when you get a thirty-dollar book for a buck plus shipping. Or when you win an auction and get those once-worn hundred dollar shoes for $19.

It’s like a game with over a hundred million players. Whether buying or selling, I feel like I’m winning!

Posted in Life

Look at all those cardboard boxes

Posted on by William Douthwaite

On my early morning walks I’ve been impressed with the amount of cardboard in recycling bins in my neighborhood. I’ve learned a lot about my neighbors ands they’ve probably learned a lot about me.

We do a lot of shopping, and just about everything comes in a cardboard box. So I know who’s just bought a new TV, vacuum cleaner, printer, or set of put-it-together-yourself furniture. I know who gets meal kits delivered. Diaper boxes reveal who has babies. Homes with dogs have Chewy boxes on the curb. Toy boxes announce weekend birthday parties. I know what kind of beer and seltzer you drink, whether you prefer Costco or Sam’s Club, and the sugary cereal you feed your kids (or consume yourself). I never realized how much privacy you surrender when you conscientiously recycle!

Not only does everything come in a cardboard box, but everything usually comes in a large cardboard box. I know you’ve purchased small items online that were delivered in boxes ten times their size, padded with yards of paper or plastic bubbles. I imagine it’s easier to ship items that way rather than have many different sized boxes on hand. It just makes it more challenging to get all that cardboard broken down and fit into a modest recycling bin.

I’ll admit that I’ve been putting less cardboard into my recycling bin lately. That’s because I’ve been reusing all my boxes to ship items I’ve been selling online. I’ve discovered the demand for used books, toys, and household goods, so I’m thankful for all those cardboard boxes delivered to my front porch each week.

Cardboard boxes aren’t a new thing. The first cardboard boxes were used in England over 200 years ago. Why does it seem like there are so many more of them? We’re buying more and more stuff!

Posted in Life, Moments of grace

Focus on the good stuff

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Why is it so easy to see the negative?

I just sanded, stained, and sealed a butcher block counter top for an island in our kitchen. Rather than enjoying the finished project, I spent way too much time noticing the little imperfections. Every time I looked at it, I could see spots where the stain was too light. Or a rough spot wasn’t sanded smooth. Or the sealer didn’t quite cover an edge.

I know. Perfection is always just out of reach.

  • When you listen to live music, you hear the mistake rather than the thousands of correct notes.
  • The lawn looks so good, except for that one weed.
  • The stylist has done a wonderful job, except for that one hair you have to trim at home.
  • When you look in the mirror, the only thing you see is that pimple.
  • One misspelled word ruins a wonderfully written essay.
  • Rather than enjoying your detailed car, you only notice the ding in the door.

I always notice the imperfections in the things that I write. Others don’t see it. But I always do. Every time. Why is that?

In a similar vein, it is all too easy to see and point out the goofs in the work of others.

  • A speaker who keeps saying, “Um” or “Uh.’
  • A painter who missed a spot.
  • “That was stupid.”

We live in a world of perfection. Every photo is retouched. Colors are enhanced. Videos are edited. Grammarly scans our paragraphs. Actors repeat scenes 10, 20, or 30 times to get it right. Auto-tune makes vocals sound amazing.

When Covid hit and the church closed its doors, it was so hard to livestream my sermons. Even though I was used to live preaching, the camera in front of me made me aware of every flaw, miscue, and mistake. In those moments there’s not editing, do-overs, or mulligans. You just put it out there. Never perfect. Deeply flawed.

Think about it. A tiny flaw can make a coin or postage stamp valuable. Imperfection is coveted. Why doesn’t every one value our errors?

I had some friends who loved to show off their car. It was a beauty for sure. One day, they came and told me that they had won a car show. But they had only gotten 99 out of 100, because of a speck of dust beneath a speaker cover. Wow. My car has never been half that clean!

I took my car to a car wash place to have it detailed before I went to trade it in for a new car. The detailers did an amazing job. The dealer hardly looked at it at all. Does it run? Does the AC blow cold? Let’s make a deal.

I remember talking to someone whose dementia was robbing them of their memories. The things they remembered included regrets and failures instead of amazing stories about adventure, friendships, and experiences.

I’m glad God reminds us to focus on those things that are pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8). Otherwise, we’d spend way too much time focusing on the negative and forget all the good stuff God has given us!

So today, take a few moments and ask yourself, “What made me smile today? What brought me joy? What blessings did I receive?” Focus on the good stuff.

Posted in Life

This is boring

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Jayalekshman SJ on Unsplash

“Are you bored yet?”

Curious friends have asked me that question three times since my retirement a little over a year ago. In each instance the questioner knew someone (or was the person) who retired, got bored, and found another job within a year.

My answer: “Nope.”

I’ve been pondering that question. Channeling Jerry Seinfeld, I wonder, “What’s the deal with boredom?” Is it a bad thing? Is it always a bad thing? And why is it a bad thing?

I was teaching the third commandment to middle school students and asked if they had any questions about worship. Without hesitation one asked, “Why does it have to be so boring?” Good question.

What do you find boring? When do you find yourself yawning or glancing at your watch? The classic pitcher’s duel in baseball, with lots of strikeouts and a 1-0 final score? Ninety minutes of soccer? The ballet? Opera? The art museum? Sitting through a conference session as the speaker reads a research paper?

I never said, “I’m bored” to my mom or dad. They would quickly reply, “I’ll find something for you to do,” and it wouldn’t be pleasant. They didn’t consider it their job to entertain us. Bored? “Go play.”

When did boredom become a thing? There was a time not that long ago when people spent most of their time growing, hunting, and preparing food, walking from place to place, and sewing clothes for the family. There was little time to be bored. The long hours and few days off of the industrial age kept everyone busy.

But what happens when you add a little technology? Or invent the weekend? What do you do when you’ve got a little more leisure time? You fill it with something. You fill it with things like radio, movies, TV, internet, streaming video, and social media. We’ve gotten so used to the stimulation created by information, communication, and entertainment we can hardly stand to be without it. That is, we get bored.

But is boredom a bad thing? My research isn’t scientific. It’s limited to observing my own grandchildren. When they don’t know what to do with themselves, I’m tempted to step in and entertain them. What happens if I don’t? They find something to do. They find imaginative and creative things to do. Left to their own devices, the floor is soon covered with a zoo made from some blocks and miniature animals. I’ll hear the cry, “Order up!” come from a make-believe kitchen. One will open a picture book and create their own story. A few sticks is all they need to reenact a battle of some kind. Creativity blossoms from a moment of boredom.

I’ve run a lot of miles, but I’ve never once ran with earphones. Within the first mile, without anything to listen to, my mind swirls with more ideas, melodies, memories, conversations, and reminders than I come up with any other time. I don’t run as much now, but I walk a lot, and I’m delighted to say my experience is the same.

Yes, creativity flourishes in boredom. It hardly ever shows up when I’m trying hard. It more often thrives in moments when I have no interruptions, notifications, appointments, commitments, or anything else to do. In that space that some describe as “boring,” I think of stories to tell, places to go, and new projects to begin. I love that space.

So, I’m changing my answer. Am I bored? Yes. And it’s wonderful.

Posted in Crossfit, Life

Bring your horse, but leave your dog at home

Posted on by William Douthwaite

My favorite grocery store, where it’s a pleasure to shop, said “Enough is enough.” While I’ve never thought of bringing my dog shopping with me, plenty of folks walk right in a their furry canine friend on a leash. The only other companion pet I’ve seen is a lizard on the shoulder of a shopper in a big box home improvement store.

My dog would love to come shopping with me. There are snacks around every turn, from meat to cheese to cookies and dog treats. There are people to meet and children to chase and so many smells to smell.

My dogs have always been a comfort to me, are faithful companions, and never fail to lift my spirits. But I can be away from them for a short shopping trip. When I get home, they’ve guarded the house, are excited to see me, and will sniff my shopping bags in hopes of a treat.

The verbiage on this sign that caught my attention referred to miniature horses who functioned as service animals. I have never seen a miniature horse in a store. I would love to see a miniature horse in a store. I’ve seen a mastiff as big as a horse in Walmart, but never an actual horse.

I’ve learned that miniature horses make good service animals, most often for the blind or visually impaired. They live longer (up to thirty-five years), they don’t shed (sorry, retrievers!), house train easily, and they are not as social as dogs tend to be so they do better in public spaces.

I really want to see a miniature horse in the store, legitimately guiding a person who relies on them for sight or stability. And I want to meet the doctor who will write a note saying you need an “emotional support pet.” Come on, doc. Everyone needs a dog! That’s not rocket science. And don’t you be billing my insurance for that prescription.

Posted in growing up, Life

We had fireflies.

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Rajesh Rajput on Unsplash

“Look, fireflies!”

It’s not like we had never seen fireflies before. Both my wife and I grew up with backyards full of the tiny flying lights every summer. We filled up glass jars with the easy to catch insects and punched air holes in the metal lids to keep them alive and light up our rooms after bedtime. That project never really worked, but were convinced that the right combination of bugs and grass would turn the night into day.

I’ve read that there are many species of lightning bugs in Florida. We’ve got the right conditions, but I’ve never seen one in the northeast part of the state where we currently live. My most recent sighting has been in western North Carolina, when dusk brought the cry, “Look, fireflies!”

Bioluminescence is magical. Light that does not come from a bulb. There is no cord plugged into the wall. There is no battery. There is no flame. A little biology, a little chemistry and there’s light!

Lightning bugs bring back great childhood memories. My grandchildren love to play with flashlights, small battery powered votive candles, glow-in-the-dark toys, and go to bed with nightlight stars covering the ceiling.

We had fireflies.

Posted in fun, Life, Travel

Extreme tubing at Highlands Outpost

Posted on by William Douthwaite

It’s just sliding down a hill. It’s basic, simple, and so entertaining. It’s one of the reasons we drove to Highlands Outpost on Scaly Mountain, west of Highlands, North Carolina. Along with gem mining (who doesn’t have gem mining in this area?), an alpine slide (crazy fast and fun), a BBQ restaurant (which was closed the day we were there), and trout fishing (a stocked swimming pool-sized pond), they advertised “extreme tubing.”

At a local playground, my grandchildren love sliding down the astroturf hill on a cardboard box. In the winter, we slid down my dad’s snow-covered backyard hill on saucer sleds until we were too cold and exhausted to climb up for another run. Extreme tubing? This is going to be great.

A simple hill and inflated tubes lived up to the hype. For twenty bucks you had access to the hill for an hour. At the bottom we grabbed heavy-duty five foot diameter tubes and dragged them to a conveyor belt. The conveyor belt then took us another three hundred feet up the hill. At the top of two slides, staff dipped our tubes in a soapy solution and shoved us down the slide after we hopped in.

The soapy solution and sprinklers along the way combined to make this a fast ride down the hill. The first time I went down alone, spinning the whole way. I got a little air over the three dips in the hill, before sliding to a stop at the bottom. Subsequent slides were in pairs, trios, and even four of us liked together, holding on the feet of the person behind you. The more weight, the faster the ride!

My four-year-old grandson, small enough to sit cross-legged in the tube, spun and giggled the whole way down. Inhaling as much air as I could, I screamed for an entire run in one breath. Everyone I saw was laughing by the time they reached the bottom of the hill. So basic. So simple. And so much fun!

Each round trip took about five minutes, so we each got a dozen rounds in before our time was up. With unlimited energy to burn, the grandsons would have gone all day if they could. The grown-ups enjoyed every slide, too. What a fun afternoon!

In the winter, the same tubes take you down snow-covered hills, which are probably even faster. I’ve got to come back for that.