Category: Life

Posted in Life

A Life of Work: Memorable Jobs I’ve Held

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Daily writing prompt
What jobs have you had?
View all responses

I love thinking back over the jobs I’ve had.

My first job was a church janitor when I was in high school. It was eight hours a week cleaning the floors of the sanctuary and the preschool classrooms. I dusted pews, cleaned bathrooms, mopped floors, and did windows. I also snuck a few snacks from the preschool rooms and kitchen refrigerator. I think I made $2.50 an hour.

Once I was old enough, I worked as a cashier at Veteran’s Stadium in Philadelphia. Since my uncle owned the concessions, I worked all the Phillies games my summers in-between college semesters. I worked the All-Star game in 1976 and one of the World Series games in 1980. I don’t remember what they paid me, but it was enough to cover my housing for a semester at college.

The view from my cash register at Veteran’s Stadium

Speaking of college, I washed dishes every night at my fraternity house in exchange for free meals.

My first job after graduating college was with Bell Laboratories in Holmdel, New Jersey. I actually worked in an overflow office location in West Long Branch, coding in Fortran on IBM 370 mainframe computers.

I left Bell Labs when friend offered me a coding job in Austin, TX. There I did a little bit of assembly language programing until the startup company went belly up.

I went back to school in 1982, attending Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Indiana. To pay for my tuition, housing, and food, I worked campus security overnight. I also worked for a market research field service company, going door-to-door and making endless phone calls to get opinions about all kinds of products and services. I made a little bit of money making sandwiches and salads at Subway and playing trumpet for church wedding services. I also worked for a small factory that made snack mix for grocery stores.

Once I graduated seminary, I pastored three churches in Connecticut, Iowa, and Florida. That was my vocation for thirty-six years.

After retirement, I’ve worked making cookie cutters, printing on iced cookies, and doing the books for our small custom cookie business.

It’s fun to remember all the jobs and experiences I’ve had over my lifetime.

Posted in Life

Weight loss shots: coming to a clinic near you

Posted on by William Douthwaite

On my drive to St. Augustine today, I couldn’t help but notice how many billboards and roadside signs advertise “Weight Loss shots” with a phone number. I wondered, “What do you have to do to be a purveyor of weight loss shots?”

After some brief research, I learned you simply have to be a healthcare provider who agrees to the terms and conditions of dispensing the medications. Not a very high bar.

I also learned that you only need a BMI of 27 and some other health condition to qualify to receive the drug. A BMI of 30, and you’re in. According to what I read, 70 percent of Americans are overweight and qualify. Wow. I don’t. When I check my blood pressure and weight at the HIGI, it says my BMI is 24. I’m not that far away! Yikes.

The information I read told me that along with the medication (Ozempic or Wegovy or some generic) you’re supposed to have a nutrition plan, an exercise regime, and ongoing counseling. Who does all that? I’ll bet very few follow through.

That’s the world we live in. If there is a fix, it will become a business. Like medical marijuana. If I were to stop in a clinic, I’m sure they could justify selling me some edibles. Note to self: make sure you bring cash.

So the landscape will continue to be littered with signs advertising pressure washing, garage sales, and lost pets. I suppose someone will call, but it’s a long shot.

In a few years, we’ll find out how effective these shots are. There will either be lots of unforeseen side effects, and many people will still be overweight.

Posted in dogs, Life

A new dog park

Posted on by William Douthwaite

We (the dogs and I) checked out a new dog park yesterday.

The one we usually go to was still closed for repairs and maintenance. The work was supposed to be completed two weeks ago, but the gate was still locked. The dogs know when we’re getting close. They start woofing as we turn into the parking lot. Sorry guys, you’ll have to be patient. We’ll try out another park on the south side of town.

The one we ended up at was adjacent to a racket sport complex. There were no other dogs in the large open area beneath some imposing power lines. A small canopy provided some shade for a few benches. Other than that, we were out in the sun.

Both dogs did a quick run around the area and drank from all the water containers scattered around. Before long, a few more dogs arrived. We greeted Captain, a Norwegian Elk Hound, Vinnie, a handsome German Shepherd, Bo, a black Labrador retriever, Rocky, a spaniel mix, and Nico, a Belgian shepherd with long, beautiful, cream colored fur.

Temperatures were in the 90s, so after a little running and lots of drinks, the dogs all found shady spots to lay down. I tossed a few balls and a frisbee, but no one was interested in running. With long tongues hanging out of their mouths, their look said, “Are you kidding?”

I chatted with the owners as the dogs got to know each other. Everyone is a dog expert with plenty of unsolicited advice to share. The dogs were all people experts, greeting and treating us all as their new best friends.

A small brown curly haired puppy watched from the neighboring small dog enclosure. He so wanted to run with the big dogs, but his owner was off talking on the phone.

One thing is certain. After a half and hour at the park, my dogs are tired. They crash as soon as they get home. It is definitely worth the time and the trip to let them run with a pack.

Posted in Life

Life Before the Internet: A Personal Reflection

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Benjamin Dada on Unsplash

This is my response to the WordPress daily writing prompt, “Do you remember life before the internet?”

A quick internet search informs me that the public gained access to the internet 1993. When I think about all the ways I use the internet every day, I recall life before my life was connected to everyone and everything.

I did my banking in person. I walked into a building and engaged with a teller who recorded my deposits and withdrawals by hand. I received bills in the mail, and paid them by mailing a check. Now I do my banking and pay my bills online. I may physically go into a bank once a year to get some specific cash I need to a trip or a garage sale.

When a teacher assigned a research paper, I headed for the library. We were not permitted to simply use the bound volumes of an encyclopedia for information. We used a card catalog and the help of a librarian to find resources for the paper. We took notes by hand on index cards and arranged them in preparation for a first draft, written by hand or typed out on a loud, clunky, manual typewriter. Now the internet grants me instant access to virtually every resource in digital libraries all over the world.

While at college, I wrote and mailed letters to my parents to let them know how I was doing and how much money I needed. A week later, a letter from my mom or dad would arrive with news from home, and hopefully, a check. Now, I instantly communicate with all of my family and friends via email and multiple chat platforms.

I used to go to the store! I went to clothing stores, sporting goods stores, and book stores to buy what I needed. Now, I pick something out unseen online and it arrives at my front door in a day.

A paperboy tossed a morning and an evening newspaper to our front door. We learned about current world events and local happenings by paging through these daily publications and black-and-white television news programs. Now, headlines are pushed to my phone before I wake up in the morning.

The only music we listened to was from AM radio stations and my parents’ collection of vinyl records. In high school, I bought a few 33’s of my own. But in college, my friends introduced me to so many other artists and songs, all on LP’s. Stereo systems included tuners, amplifiers, speakers, turntables and cassette decks. I currently own zero CDs. All my music is streamed via the internet.

We went to the movies to see a movie. I remember laying in the back of our station wagon at a drive-in theater watching The Sound of Music and Bye Bye Birdie. I have a few DVD of favorite movies, but for the most part, I stream all movies on the internet.

Four times a year, I brought home a handwritten report card from my teacher. As a parent, I logged on to a portal to find out how my children were doing in school.

In my profession as a parish pastor, I preached to a room full of people. Until Covid. I quickly learned how to preach to a video camera which streamed my message to the congregation watching at home. I led and and attended many virtual zoom meetings from the comfort of my home, an impossible task without the internet.

I used to call a travel agent to book a flight to wherever. Now I plan my travel online.

If I need to learn how to do anything, I watch a video online. Before the internet, I called my dad. “How do you…?” He always knew.

Before the internet, I went to a venue and bought tickets at the gate. At a baseball stadium or a concert venue, tickets were available. Now, I get my tickets online, with a parking pass as well.

If I wanted someone or anyone to read my writing, I don’t even know what I would do. Now, I simply post something like this on my blog. Done.

Posted in Life, neighborhood

The misbehaving sprinkler

Posted on by William Douthwaite

The big dog and I know the sounds of the dawn. Birds begin to sing when the sky turns from black to blue. In the distance, garbage trucks are emptying the trash cans in the neighborhood. A rooster crows from behind a home at the halfway point of our walk. Japanese-made motorcycles whine in the distance as they speed down traffic-free roads. Dogs bark from inside homes as we walk by.

We didn’t recognize this sound. A bit like static on the radio, water in the sink, someone crumpling paper, and washing the car.

We rounded a slow curve and saw it. A broken sprinkler was shooting a stream of water right at the driver’s door of a black pickup truck. I’m used to seeing maladjusted sprinklers aiming water at the street, driveways, straight up the heavens, and into recycling bins. I’ve never seen a spray target the side of a truck.

Is this a bad thing? I don’t know. Heavy rains pummel my vehicles during torrential thunderstorms and hurricanes. I let car washes powerfully spray my vehicle with soap, rinses, and hot dryers.

Would water from this spray get inside the truck? Would it wear off the finish? I have no idea. It just didn’t seem like the ideal situation.

It was early. 6:30 am-ish. No one was up to see where the water was squirting. Oh well. I wouldn’t worry about a hurricane if I were you.

Posted in Life

Lost and found: a robot story

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Onur Binay on Unsplash

My robot vacuum got lost.

It was my fault. When we rearranged some of the furniture in the bedrooms, I moved the dock for the Roborock 5S that has been methodically winding his way through our home for the past five years. I figured if I moved the vacuum and the dock to a new spot, he would know where he was.

As soon as I started a room cleaning cycle, I knew there was a problem. Carson (the name we assigned to the robot vacuum) pulled out of the dock and began spinning in circles. I picked him up and took him out to the living room to get his bearings. He wandered here and there and finally headed back to the dock.

I let him decompress for a few weeks, but decided it was time to get back to work. I deleted the maps from the phone app and started him up. He went into “clean and map out the whole house mode” and finished up two hours later. I checked my phone and he vacuumed every room and found his way home again. Perfect!

Some folks are worried that robots will take over the world. They will develop the ability to replicate themselves. When they determine that humans are no longer essential, the robots will eliminate people from the planet.

I do not think I have much to worry about anytime soon. My personal robot gets lost in the only home he’s ever known!

Posted in Life

I’ve been wearing that for a long time

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Daily writing prompt
What’s the oldest things you’re wearing today?
View all responses

The oldest thing I’m wearing today is my gold wedding ring, which I’ve worn daily since 1984. I’m pretty sure it’s 14 karat gold, but I can’t easily get it off my finger to check.

In second place is my watch, a Citizen Eco-Drive I bought six years ago. Fed up with the poor quality of the digital running watches I usually wore, I purchased a self-winding analog watch that has worked perfectly since I bought it.

This prompt made me think of older clothing I still wear. I’ve got two suits, black and navy, that I bought in 2014. I got my money’s worth out of them. I have a blue herringbone blazer from at least thirty years ago. I can only wear it if the temperature gets down to freezing, which rarely happens in Florida.

My red clerical stole dates back to my ordination in 1986. I still wear it on occasion.

Posted in Life

The worst lawn in the neighborhood? A contender.

Posted on by William Douthwaite

The home pictured above was completed less than a year ago. A family moved in, and now their front yard looks like this. Nice, huh?

I and the big dog walk by here four or five times a week. We watched them clear the lot, pour the foundation, set the roof trusses in place, stucco the walls, install windows and doors, and throw a whole lot of dead-looking sod into the yard. I remember commenting to the dog, who just pees on it anyway, “I can’t believe they lay sod that looks like that.” When brown, dry, dead looking clumps of dirt and grass are thrown across an inch of topsoil, it’s going to look like the picture above.

Did it rain? Did they water it? Do they have a lawn service? Does anyone care? I have no idea. I just know that it’s never going to look better than it does in this picture. The weeds will propagate and grow taller. The existing grass will retreat in humiliation. You’ll only get an answering machine if you call the builder. Bottom line: you have a crap lawn.

A good lawn in Florida is a full-time job. Few homeowners can do it without the services of a lawn company. That’s just the way it is. Bugs, mold, drought, weeds, torrential rain, pets, and poor soil present huge obstacles to a decent looking lawn any where in Florida.

We had a great looking lawn in the front and back yards. Thick, lush, and green. Then we got a Great Dane puppy. For six months, her urine burned brown spots in the lawn. When she grew to full size, she tore paths running back and forth across the back yard. Months of floods followed by weeks of drought took its toll. The back yard was a mess. I banned the dogs from the back yard, re-sodded bare spots, and prayed for rain. By the grace of God, it’s growing back.

Growing in seems to take much longer than ripping up. Just be patient. The rain will come. The sun will shine. The grass will grow!

Unless you are the guy whose yard is featured above. Yeah, that’s not gonna grow back. He can look forward to tall weeds, mud, and bugs. Welcome to the neighborhood.

After messing around with it for years, my wife said, “Get a lawn guy.” The next day, someone from Scott’s came by offering a special on monthly lawn service. “Sign me up!” They were bought out by TruGreen. They’ve done a great job for the last fifteen years.

Posted in fitness, Life

The green kettlebell

Posted on by William Douthwaite

So I’m just walking down the street with the big dog, as I so often do, and spy a green kettlebell sitting in someone’s driveway.

Okay, someone is clearly in the middle of a MetCon (metabolic conditioning) workout where someone repeatedly runs and does kettlebell swings and other exercises for time.

The strange thing is, there’s no “someone” around. The garage door is closed. I don’t see anyone running. The twenty-pound kettlebell is just parked there in front of the street.

If you’ve ever read my stuff, you know I like to speculate about things like this.

Maybe it rolled out of a delivery truck. The driver pulled out too quickly and the box broke apart when it hit the street, stranding the green kettlebell.

Perhaps it escaped the garage gym. We’ve got a collection of dumbbells and kettlebells in our garage. This one could have tumbled past the cars and almost to the street.

Someone may have thrown the kettlebell out of the garage in anger or frustration. Some workouts can be infuriating. Why not take it out on your equipment?

Someone was cleaning house. Garages get cluttered with equipment no one uses. Enough is enough, and some of it goes to the curb.

Could it be a signal?

  • Leave the package in the driveway with green kettlebell. Or else.
  • Where’s the meeting? Look for the green kettlebell.
  • Meet me by the green kettlebell.
  • If the kettlebell’s out, don’t come knocking.

“Let’s paint the garage!” And now the green kettlebell clashes with the new purple walls. “It’s gotta go.”

“It didn’t look like this in the picture.” Few things do. Whoever ordered it expected a different color. Ship it back? Too heavy. Just leave it on the curb. Someone will take it.

“You spilled green paint all over my kettlebell?” I’m going to kill you!

I have never, ever seen a kettlebell in a driveway. Only in a gym or in my garage.