Posted in DIY

Little Gray Box

Posted on by William Douthwaite

The other day, I noticed that my “Little Gray Box” water heater timer sounded different than usual. Actually, it hardly makes any noise at all, so the rhythmic throbbing sound coming through the wall informed me it was replacement time. I had installed this one at least fifteen years ago, so I got some good life out of it.

I foolishly headed right out to Home Depot to get a new one. I say foolishly because I forgot to look closely at the one on the wall, so I knew for sure what I needed to buy. When I arrived at Home Depot, I asked a friendly man standing at the main entrance in an orange apron, “Where are the water heater timers?” He sent me towards the water heater aisle, but that’s not where the timers are. I got on my phone to see what was in stock, and the app sent me towards the electrical aisle. It took a few minutes, but I finally found them on the bottom shelf. The thing is, there were about six different ones to choose from. They all looked pretty much the same, but were designed for assorted voltages and current, and I wasn’t 100% sure what I needed. Sigh. I went back home, took a look at what was on the wall, ordered the exact same one on Amazon and had it in hand the next day.

I was pretty happy when I opened the box. It was exactly the same one. So I didn’t even have to take the old box off the wall. Just swap out the guts. Yes, I turned off the circuit breakers. I also poked around with my current tester just to be sure. Even though I’ve done it before, I feel nervous working around wires delivering 220 volts. I double checked everything, then took a picture so I would know how to reconnect the wires. I said a little prayer, checked for current again, unhooked the old timer, connected the new one, said another prayer, and flipped the breaker back on. Worked like a charm!

I suppose I would be a little more confident if I were an electrician and worked with stuff like this every day. Or I could be really confident and just hire an electrician!

Posted in dogs, Sunday

We want to go back to bed.

Posted on by William Douthwaite

I settled into my Sunday morning routine quite a few years ago. The first of our two weekly worship services is at 8:15 am. The musicians for that first service arrive to warm up between 7 and 7:20. So if I want the place to myself to run through my sermon, I need to start practice preaching about 6:30. I like to have about an hour to eat some breakfast, shower, get dressed and drive to over to the church. So I’ll get going with all that about 5:30. Plus, after I feed and walk the dog, I like to have some time for my own personal devotions, prayer and journaling, so I set my alarm for 4:30 am. That’s why I always look so awake when y’all arrive for worship. I’ve been up for about four hours.

But that’s not what this post is all about.

My routine was a little different today. You see, my daughter’s dog is spending the weekend with us. So I had two large brown dogs to tend to first thing this morning. No problem. They play, sleep and bark at everyone together. After feeding and walking them, I made my coffee and sat down with my Bible and journal. I figured they would lie down and relax.

Didn’t happen. My wife was still asleep having worked till 11 the night before. We tried to be quiet, but lapping up a quart of water is surprisingly noisy. Toenails ticking on the floor is surprisingly noisy, too, as they sniffed here and there and just couldn’t get settled. They noised our bedroom door over and over again, and I finally figured out what they wanted. They wanted to go back to bed!

I turned off the lights and quietly opened the door. They hurried in, circled around in their beds a few times, and noisily collapsed for a few more hours of shuteye.

It was finally quiet. They probably thought I was nuts to be up so early. I’m sure they’re not the only ones.

Posted in people

Hey, I know you…

Posted on by William Douthwaite

You know what it’s like at the doctor’s office. You wait. At my ophthalmologist’s office, there are numerous waiting rooms. After I check in, I sit in the main waiting room. When they call my name, I go back and after a few drops in my eyes, I go to another waiting room. After I saw the doctor, I still needed to see the surgical coordinator, so I was left in yet a third waiting room. At least you feel like you are getting somewhere when they keep moving you around.

Anyway, when it’s my turn, a nice tech or nurse calls, “William,” “Mr. William” (cause we’re in the south), or “Mr. Douthwaite” (or some attempted pronunciation of my last name – because they grew up in the north.) On my most recent visit, I was the last person left in waiting room number three. So I knew I would be next. My right eye was doing great, but remember, it had been corrected for reading. I took my contact lens out of my left eye so they could check the pressure. My left eye is very nearsighted. So I could kind of see, but not really. I could see enough to watch what was on the TV: “Fixer Upper.” In fact, every time I have been to this eye doctor, even at different offices, Chip and Joanna are renovating houses in every waiting room.

No problem. I like that show. Kind of watching, kind of listening, I noticed someone at the door, but they said, “Pastor.” I’m sure I looked surprised, since no one has used my title on previous visits. Sure enough, with a little squint, I recognized someone from church. She had been on vacation when I had come in the last time, so I didn’t even know she worked there. But I’m glad she did! Everyone there had been very nice and done a great job, but it was extra nice to sit down with someone I knew.

I love running into folks I know out in the community. Nurses at the hospital, service reps when I take my car in for service, tellers at the bank, cashiers in the store, servers at the drive-thru window, staff in a big box store or waitresses at the restaurant, staff at funeral homes, teachers in the school and baristas at the coffee shop. I’m grateful for all the people I’ve gotten to know over the years. Makes a large and growing community seem smaller and more personal.

Posted in worship

You are thirsty.

Posted on by William Douthwaite

Why are you cast down, O my soul,
    and why are you in turmoil within me? (Psalm 42:5)

As a deer pants for flowing streams,
    so pants my soul for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God,
    for the living God. (Psalm 42:1,2)

The psalmist puts his finger on the problem when the symptom is discouragement. When you are discouraged, that is, when you soul is “cast down,” you’re thirsty. Your soul is thirsty for God.

Who hasn’t felt discouraged? You might be discouraged because you tried your hardest but failed. Or someone let you down. Someone you thought you could depend on. Discouragement can arise when reality is far less than your dreams. Or when you feel like you’re the only one who cares. I am sure there are a hundred other things that could make you wonder, “Why are you cast down, O my soul?”

In this psalm, we learn that discouragement is a manifestation of spiritual thirst. You know what physical thirst feels like. Dry mouth, scratchy throat, and a craving for anything liquid. Spiritual thirst feels like a horrible terrible no good very bad day.

Here’s the thing: a wonderful successful tremendous very good day will not quench that thirst. Only God can. A soul that thirsts is a soul that thirst for God. Why? Because we screw up and wander so far from Him. Because we forget his promises, take his gifts for granted, trust in horses, chariots and our own strength, and neglect to pray.

So where do you go to get a nice long tall drink of God for your soul? His Word. Prayer. Worship. He’s right there when we gather in His name. He faithfully touches our hearts with His Word. He loves to engage us in conversational prayer. He reminds us of that cooler of water dumped over our head in baptism.

When I’ve had it “up to here,” I just need to stop. Stop trying, stop blaming, stop justifying and stop pretending. Stop and listen to Him. Alone, or with a few, or with the church. Open my Bible and open my heart. What a joy and what a game-changer to drink from His well!

Posted in eyes

What else could a new lens do?

Posted on by William Douthwaite

After last week’s cataract surgery, my right eye with its new implant for reading is working better than I ever imagined! I’m spoiled, and I can’t wait to have my distance eye done next week.

I was thinking about what a lens implant could eventually do. I’ll bet that some of the things Steve Austin’s bionic eye could do in “The Six Million Dollar Man” are not only doable, but also cost a lot more than six million dollars. (Not to be confused with Ted DiBiase, who was only “The Million Dollar Man.)

Imagine a lens implant that could do things like…

  • Zoom in or out. How awesome to zoom in on a game from the cheap bleacher seats! Or zoom in on something too small to be seen by normal eyes.
  • Give you a heads up display. It could show the distance to an object, tell you how fast you were going, display the temperature of a liquid, or even just show you the time at will. You could have it display a text message, your heart rate, or close caption a movie or live performance. I suppose you could use it to navigate, too.
  • Allows you to save an image of what you are looking at, perhaps saving it to your phone. While your’e at it, you add something to your shopping list or shopping cart.
  • How about facial recognition? Just glance at someone, and you would see their name. Maybe you could identify a plant or weed in your yard. Or identify an exact color, so you could get that matching quart of paint to touch up the bedroom walls.
  • Adjust to bright sunlight or dimly lit rooms. Unless you like to look cool wearing sunglasses.

Science fiction or next year’s product announcement? The lines are blurred, aren’t they? But not my vision! My left eye implant will even correct astigmatism in that eye. For now that’s pretty exciting. I’m so thankful for the doctors and technology that make it all possible. But what if…

Posted in Ministry

So what should I bring?

Posted on by William Douthwaite

I was out catching up on my visits to homebound members today. I caught up with Janet (names modified for this post) at her nursing care facility at the end of her lunch hour. She greeted me warmly and immediately said, “Rex (her elder) came to visit me yesterday and he brought me candy!” I replied, “I’ll bet you all wish he came to visit you more often!”

Just a few weeks ago, the mother of a member died and I stopped by to visit. I texted ahead and said, “What can I bring for you?” She didn’t respond. So I thought,”What can I bring? I know! M&Ms. Who doesn’t need M&Ms?” At the time, they were a minor part of my visit. But when her mom’s pastor stopped by, Sandy mentioned, “My pastor brought M&Ms!” Gooooooal! I felt pretty competent at that moment.

Over the years I’ve brought many things to my homebound members. Word and Sacrament of course. But I have also brought lunch from local restaurants: mostly Subway and Chinese takeout.

My best delivery however was a half-gallon of vodka. I know, that deserves some explanation. Karen lived in an apartment by the beach, and her alcoholic landlord lived in the same building. Just before I left the church, I got a call, and Karen asked me to stop by the liquor store and get the cheapest half-gallon of vodka I could find. She would pay me when I got there. If Dave (her landlord) didn’t have his vodka, there would be hell to pay and she was hoping to avoid that. I don’t especially care for vodka, so it was the first and only time I’ve purchased it, and certainly the only time I’ve been in a liquor store in my clerical collar. The guy at the register didn’t even blink, which is a troubling. How many clergy had he served that day?

My second-best delivery was a bag full of prescriptions medications for Karen. When she asked me to stop by the pharmacy, I said, “Sure, I’ll pick up come meds.” It turned out to be about twelve medications! She had described me to the pharmacist, so he immediately knew who I was and loaded me up with all of her pills. Since she was on Medicare and Medicaid I think I had to pony up $3.00 for her meds.

So if you need anything and I am coming to visit, just let me know what you need. I’m on it. (BTW, they didn’t teach me anything about this at the seminary!)

Posted in communication

I’m still learning the middle school dialect

Posted on by William Douthwaite
K-pop band BTS

One of the side benefits of teaching confirmation class to seventh and eighth graders each year is that it exposes me to some elements of pop culture that I would never have noticed on my own.

One of my students turned in a sermon report from Epiphany Sunday with a comment at the bottom, “‘Epiphany’ is the name of a really good BTS song!” And just like that, I took a step into the world of K-pop, or Korean pop music, which to me looks like a reincarnation of 1990s boy bands like Back Street Boys and N Sync. Maybe it’s more accurate to call the genre an extrapolation of that musical era. The groups have more members, some are female, and incorporates hip-hop, electronica, and rock along with creative choreography.

I asked this student, “If I needed to cram for a test on K-pop, what videos would I want to watch?” She sent me a long list of YouTube videos to check out, but would only just scratch the surface. We’ll see how it goes as I begin to do a little research.

There is no Rosetta Stone for learning the middle school dialect. Besides, it changes from year to year. Three years ago I had a student who pretty much spoke in quotes from “The Big Bang Theory.” Bazinga! Others of my current students speak in memes, which they spend more time studying than their academics or the catechism. Some live in video game world. Others only understand metaphors from sports they’re involved in, from golf to football to martial arts. It’s always fun to discover how God’s Word speaks to all those “worlds” in which we live.

Posted in family

What a week!

Posted on by William Douthwaite

This past Christmas we had all six of our grandchildren together for the first time ever. My son flew to Florida with his wife and three children a few days after Christmas to spend a week with us. My two daughters only live about half an hour away, and often had their families here that week, too. The three older grands are five, four and three years old. The younger ones are five, thirteen and sixteen months. Yes, it was a noisy, messy, energetic, chaotic and fun-filled week!

I was able to finish up a play fort swing set in our back yard. God blessed us with a good weather week, and the older grandkids spent a lot of time climbing and swinging. The younger ones were constantly on the move, emptying toy shelves and constantly campaigning for the next snack or meal. I found myself rotating from child to child, pushing a swing, reading a book, rolling a ball, playdohing some playdoh, sticking some stickers, coloring pictures, building legos, changing a diaper, preparing a snack, filling a drink, digging in the sandbox, taking some pictures and enjoying every minute of it. It was an amazing week. For me it was also a fleeting moment, knowing they would never be this size again.

As the reader might suspect, I thoroughly enjoyed that week. I enjoyed spending time with my children, their spouses and their children. I had no idea what a great experience that would be! My wife and I have been blessed beyond measure.

Posted in Ministry, preaching

How has my preaching changed?

Posted on by William Douthwaite

I’ve been doing this for a long time. I’ve been writing sermons and preaching weekly to congregations for nearly thirty-four years. Yes, a lot has changed since I first started preparing, writing and delivering sermons.

Today, I have a wealth of resources in the palm of my hand. With just my phone I have access to original language (Hebrew and Greek) tools, commentaries, and written and video sermons on every verse in the bible! Some of those resources are great. Some are so-so. Some are worthless. When I started in 1986, all I had was a study bible and just a few commentaries. I was mostly on my own to read, apply and proclaim the text. Actually, I prefer to work that way now. Most of the online resources are old, trite and not applicable to my congregation. In most cases, I’m better off just working with the text.

When I began, I wrote all my sermons out by hand. I still have a copy of my first handwritten sermon on lined looseleaf paper. It was tedious and took a lot of time. A computer and word processing software saved me a lot of editing and rewriting time. Now I don’t even write everything out, using powerpoint software to organize my thoughts.

I tell a lot more stories than I used to. Stories engage imaginations and stick in your memory. I have worked hard on coming up with and telling stories that illustrate my sermon point. It hasn’t been easy, but it has been enjoyable to learn how to be a better story teller.

I have reused very few sermons in my career. You would think that after ten or twelve years, you would have amassed enough sermons to last for the rest of your ministry. However, when I go back and read what I preached in the past, I usually don’t like the sermon. The words just don’t work twenty or thirty years later. Actually I only have one sermon I’ve used more than once, a wedding sermon from Genesis 2:25 about getting naked!

I’ve got about fifteen years of audio sermons preserved on CDs. Not that I or anyone else listens to them. Maybe I will someday, just to see if my speaking style has changed at all. Without really trying, I find that all my sermons still turn out to be about fifteen minutes long. I’m kind of a “get to the point” guy in my sermons (and my conversations.)

On my way to church early each Sunday morning, I always thank God for my voice (because I’ve been prone to laryngitis), the Word (so I have something to say) and for a congregation (someone who will come to listen). God has consistently blessed me with all those gifts for all the years I’ve been preaching!