A “through the bible” devotion from Nehemiah 6.
My dog Winston (the White Westhighland Terrier) believe that everyone is his friend. His tail is up and wagging for the vet, the vet tech, the front desk receptionist at the vet, the Rottweiler who often walks by our house, the three little terriers who walk down the street, grandkids, in-laws, our small group, and anyone else who will let him jump up in their lap.
Nehemiah has gone out on a limb to ask for time off from his cupbearer job in Susa to go to Jerusalem to rebuild the walls. It was a huge project, made more challenging by enemies who did everything they could to stop the work. Rather than taking an allowance, he fed hundreds of people at his own expense.
As the walls and gates near completion, a few of Nehemiah’s enemies try to buddy up to him. Four times Sanballat and Geshem invite him to a little get-together, and all four times, Nehemiah declines, answering, “I’m busy. I have a lot of work to do.”
He knows. He knows “they intended to do him harm” (Nehemiah 6:2). Nehemiah was loyal, brave, hard working, and discerning. He knows that not everyone who wants to be your friend should be your friend.
That last statement is hard. I don’t like that truth. I’ve always operated under the notion that if you want friends, you should be a friend. So if someone befriends you, you ought to welcome their friendship.
Many of you reading this have learned the hard way that this doesn’t always work out.
- Some befriend us to take advantage of us. It’s just a matter of time before they ask for money.
- Others want to be our friends so they can tell others that they are our friends. These folks will broadcast their relationship with us in their promotional material. Yes, I’ve had people join the church so they can add that to their resume.
- Some will be friends for a while, but at some time and for some reason they will turn. They will turn on you, to make you the bad guy, so they look like the good guy.
- There are those who jump into friendship, but immediately disappear into the ether. They literally disappear, and you never see them again.
By this time you’re thinking, “Wow, he’s gotten cynical.” You are right. And you’re thinking, “Yeah, I’ve had friends like that.” You’re also wondering, “So who should I be friends with?”
That is a very good question.
- Don’t let betrayal, disappointment, or threats deter you. Just be a friend with anyone and everyone. The only way to know is to dive in and do it. You can’t predict who’s going to be a keeper and who you throw back.
- Don’t expect too much from a friend. They will not live up to your expectations. No human does. They will let you down. Just remember: they are your friend.
- Do invest a lot in friendship. You be the one who is there, who cares, who gives, who gives, who goes beyond expectations.
It’s a lot easier to make friends when you are in school. The friends I remember the best are from elementary, junior high, high school, and college. After that, it’s a lot harder. Why? I don’t know. It’s different when you’re an adult. But it’s no less important.
Must you be friends with everyone who befriends you? No. Be discerning. Be open to new friends. Be a friend. But sometimes it’s okay to walk away.
Waite for it... 