Posted in Life

Long, long lines

The lines were long at Home Depot. Lots of sales? Lots of people thinking “home improvement?” Lots of busy contractors?

Nope. No one to work the registers.

My Home Depot has six self-checkout registers. Three weren’t working. Station closed. The ten-person line snaked through aisles filled with displays of tools, batteries, plants, and eye protection. Every once in a while, a shopper who didn’t see the line walked right up to a checkout station. Sometimes an irritable person would point out, “The line starts over there!” But not always.

One employee watched over the self-checkout registers. So when an item didn’t scan correctly, or someone was buying a controlled substance like spray paint, the checkout process came to a halt until that one person noticed and came over to punch in their number. Self-checkout lanes are popular with shoppers who don’t seem to have ever used a self-checkout lane, so they wonder, “Now what do I do?” There are so many decisions. Like, do I want the extended service plan for a hammer? Do I need an emailed receipt? Which credit card do I want to use? If it’s a couple, they argue about what to do next.

Two checkout registers were staffed by live employees. One was for contractors only. No line there. That person was very good at getting the pros out the door. The other was operated by someone who must have been pretty new to the job. They summoned a manager for just about every purchase. That line of ten people moved very slowly.

So, while it was easy to find what I wanted, it was hard to find a human or machine that worked. I only had a can of paint. Others maneuvered carts full of long wood, small appliances, rolls of carpet, and sacks of sand through lines at the key-making kiosk, paint counter, and customer service desk. Either way, we were going to be there for a while.

Posted in Home improvement

Spelunking at Home Depot

I finally had enough of a weekend free to put up the backsplash in our kitchen. It was neither a huge nor complicated job, and I had done some floor tile before, but never tackled a backsplash.

My wife had helped me pick out the tile which was more like a mosaic of rough stones. I got to Home Depot, found the tile, and started to count them out. I needed twenty-three pieces, but only found thirteen on the shelf. Come one, there must be more back there. It was on the very bottom shelf, so I stooped down and peered into the abyss. Was that another box back there? I couldn’t quite see. I lit up my phone light and shined it in, and yes, it was another box of that tile!

OK, now I have to get it out of there. Surely I can find someone to help me. I looked up and down several aisles and of course, saw no one in an orange apron. I guess I’m going to have to do this myself.

I got down on my stomach and crawled into the space between two other stacks of tile. Not much room to spare. Thank you paleo and CrossFit for helping me shave off a couple of pounds. I got all the way in up to my waist and got a hold of the box. It was a whole box of ten tiles, still wrapped in plastic, exactly the number I needed! As I wriggled out, I wondered how many had walked by wondering what I was doing. I expected a tap on the leg and the question, “Do you need some help?” But as I extracted myself, I was still the only living soul in the aisle.

Mission accomplished. Backsplash done. Not bad for my first time.