Tag: mailbox

Posted in neighbor, neighborhood

Shorty-short mailboxes

Posted on by William Douthwaite

Okay, this will be my last mailbox piece. At least for a while.

Today’s topic: short mailboxes.

I chuckle every time I walk by these two mailboxes. They are short. Really short. They struggle to max out a two feet. USPS indicates a height of 41 to 45 inches to the bottom.

So why have a shorty-short mailbox?

The gracious answer: the person is in a wheelchair or scooter. That’s what they can reach. Their house has lower counters and lower shelves, to accommodate their limited reach.

Or perhaps they are just short people. One doesn’t use the word midget any more. So maybe it’s a little person or person with dwarfism. For them, a mailbox like this works.

Bad installation? Maybe. Someone didn’t buy a long enough 4×4. Or got carried away pounding one into the ground. They were too lazy to change it, so they just cut it off and made it fit. Who cares? It’s mostly junk mail anyway.

It could have been a former mailbox casualty, fixed and restored. After discarding the broken pieces, this is what was left. Good enough.

I’ll try not to chuckle too much when I pass these homes. Short mailboxes have feelings, too.

Posted in neighborhood

It’s not easy being a mailbox

Posted on by William Douthwaite

It’s been a rough week for mailboxes in our neighborhood. Every morning I notice new ones that have been attacked and left for dead.

A few years ago, it looked like someone drove down the street with a baseball bat, taking out a whole row of roadside mailboxes. I’ve seen the latest rash of violence in front of random houses. Whoever it was didn’t just take a swing at the mailbox, but intentionally knocked down whole posts.

I suppose this is how some have fun late at night. I don’t know who they are, but they are bold. When most houses have doorbell cameras, someone is going to see you. You’re going to get caught.

I know most mailboxes are just plain ugly. Even brand new ones only look attractive for a few months. The Florida sun and heat quickly takes its toll.

My mailbox is intact. For now.

Posted in neighborhood

The mailbox didn’t have a chance

Posted on by William Douthwaite

How fast do you think this person was driving?

The first thing that caught my eye was the uprooted mailbox post. It was completely lifted up out of the ground. I thought, “Who would do that?”

Then I saw the car or truck parts along the tire track in the lawn. Someone took the curve too fast, swerved onto the grass, and took out that mailbox.

But where was the mailbox? I spotted it up by the house, about twenty yards away. Wow, they must have been moving!

I know the guy who used to live in this house. Used to means I don’t know what happened to him. I used to see him all the time, riding his bike around the neighborhood. He either died or is living in a care facility. A company cares for the lawn each week. But no sign of him.

If someone put their mind to it, they wouldn’t have much trouble finding the offending vehicle that picked up a few dents and dings and left a few trim parts behind.

We’ll see if anyone notices or cleans up the yard in the next few days. It’s on an isolated section of a road I often walk on in the morning, easily overlooked. I’ll also keep an eye out for the rest of the truck or car.

It could have been worse. Some folks build bricks around their mailbox posts for these kinds of moments.

Posted in Life

The worst mailbox in our neighborhood

Posted on by William Douthwaite

This mailbox has been bent, twisted, and zip-tied for over six months now. I pass by on dog walks and can’t help but wonder, “How is it still standing? Why haven’t the residents repaired it or straightened it up?” I tell myself, “I’m sure they’ll replace it soon.” But months have gone by and nothing has changed. Why not?

  • Those are hand-painted flowers decorating the side. This mailbox is one-of-a-kind. You can’t just go out an buy another one at Home Depot. It’s irreplaceable. It stays.
  • Maybe it’s not their house. “Not our problem.” Some tenants leave every repair to the landlord. And some landlords rarely come by the property to make repairs.
  • Perhaps a neighbor backed into it, nearly knocking it over. Or a stranger sideswiped it. Did a kid’s bike crash into it? Did an over-zealous mail carrier pull away too quickly? They broke it; they’re going to fix it!
  • This mail box is close to where a tornado touched down. It could be a testimony to the power of those winds. The storm came and went in a moment. But the memory of it remains.
  • I’m not sure anyone lives in that house. Some empty homes do not have a for sale sign out front. Maybe something happened to the person who lived there. Maybe he’s in the hospital, or worse, he’s dead.
  • Or, the people who bought this mailbox just aren’t that good at putting something together. Just about everything comes with assembly instructions. But not everyone is adept at following those instructions. So this is what you end up with.

All of the mailboxes in our neighborhood look different. Some are brand new. Others are weathered. Many stand straight and tall. A few, like this one, are precariously leaning. Very few actually look good out in front of a home.

But they aren’t going anywhere.

Posted in Life

That mailbox didn’t have a chance

Posted on by William Douthwaite

Red marker next to mailbox? Check.

Reflective sticker affixed to the post? Check.

Post firmly embedded in the ground? Check.

Obnoxious, clearly noticeable color? Check.

When I saw the remains of this mailbox on a walk around the neighborhood, I thought, “There’s got to be a great story here.” A little tap from a car backing out of a driveway didn’t do this. A hurried mail carrier didn’t slam the door too hard. I don’t think we’ve had any earthquakes in Florida lately. Someone nailed this mailbox. They showed no mercy. They took it out.

  • The lawn guy was late. For what, I don’t know. He slammed the gate shut on the trailer, jumped in the truck and floored it. The trailer began to fishtail back and forth, almost out of control, until it swung through the mailbox. “What the heck was that?” Glancing in the mirror, he saw it and skidded to a stop. Looking up and down the street and seeing no one, the lawn guy carefully stacked the pieces and took off, a little slower this time.
  • He was pissed. The neighbor’s dog had visited his yard one too many times. Enough is enough. “I knew that baseball bat would come in handy.” He didn’t take any warmup swings. It was like swinging at a fastball right down the middle. It was the most satisfying hit of his life.
  • “Watch out, you’re too close to the side of the road.” “I know mom, I know…oh my gosh, what was that?” “I’m going to let your father teach you how to drive.”
  • “A backup camera? I don’t need no d*** backup camera.”

Most of the mailboxes on our street look like junk. Anything that gets them replaced is a good thing.