Tag: memory

Posted in memories

I don’t remember

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

On my big dog walk the other day, the idea of God’s omniscience popped into my mind. (Don’t ask me why. It’s not like I’m omniscient!) He has total knowledge of everything. He knows the past, present, and future, every detail about me and his entire creation. In other words, “God knows everything” (1 John 3:20).

  • In some ways, we used to know more than we do now. For instance, I used to know phone numbers. Since they are stored by name in my phone, those digits don’t have a place in my mind. At church recently, the youth director wanted the students to check in digitally. Unfortunately, the parents used their own phone number to register the family. None of the youth could recall that number.
  • I used to be pretty good with directions. Now I need a talking GPS to tell me where to go. I like the fact that my maps app gets me to my destination on the shorted possible route. But if the internet is down, I have no idea where I’m going.
  • I used to know geography. Stamp collecting helped me identify countries all over the world. Many have changed their names, and that knowledge is slipping.
  • I used to be very good at remembering birthdays. Then my family grew exponentially, and I had to make a chart.
  • I had locker combinations memorized in high school. Now, most schools don’t even let the students use lockers.

I read that our minds weren’t designed to remember everything. Our brain sorts out what is important, storing away what it thinks you’ll need to recall. I like to use mnemonic tools and tricks to make my brain retain more data than it normally would. Plus, I write out lists for myself.

God knows everything. The number of hairs on your head. What you’re going to say. How long you’ll live. Everything.

Except a believer’s sin. God says, “I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more” (Hebrews 8:12). The eternal God isn’t starting to forget things. It’s just that the blood of Christ covers up our sin. I might have a hard time forgetting and forgiving myself, but God’s never going to bring it up again.

Posted in Life

The Secret Skill of Remembering Names

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by cottonbro
Daily writing prompt
What’s a secret skill or ability you have or wish you had?
View all responses

My secret weapon is the ability to remember names.

I didn’t even know I had this ability until people responded with surprise, “You remembered my name!” It might have been someone I talked with yesterday or someone I met a year ago. For some reason, names stick with me. I don’t have any mnemonic tricks. I don’t consciously work on it. Names lodge in accessible places in my brain.

I read somewhere that the most important word you can say to someone is their name. You notice them. You connect with them. You care about them. They are somebody.

Some lament, “I’m no good with names.” They can’t make the connection. Names don’t stick anywhere in their minds. It’s a real struggle for them.

Once in a while, someone’s name won’t click for me. That’s rare. I remember the names of all the dogs I meet at the dog park. All the people I meet at church on a Sunday morning. The techs and nurses and doctors who treat me in the emergency room. The players on my grandson’s baseball team.

Sometime in the future, I might forget. I might not be able to recall a name. It might be a friend. Or family. So for now I am thankful for my ability to astonish people – and sometimes myself – by remembering their names.

Posted in shopping

“What did you buy?”

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Oxana Melis on Unsplash

I’m certain this never happens to anyone else. We pull into the driveway and see a package or two (or three) at the front door. It might be a box or a bag or just a product with an address sticker. One of us will say to the other, “What did you buy?” The other will respond, “Nothing. It must be yours.”

Upon opening them one of us will say, “Oh, that’s right. I ordered that two (or three or four) days ago.” Sometimes it’s a subscription order we get on a regular basis. And even rarer, it’ll be a gift.

There’s something disturbing about this. I like to think I engage in some level of mindfulness, but my shopping habits and memory betray me in this area.

In my defense, some of this is due to buying things separately. Because I buy individual items as I need or want them, each arrives by itself. While I try to visit as few stores as possible when shopping in person, I don’t care how many separate purchases I make online. And sometimes, when I do buy two or three items in one order, they may arrive in separate packages, having originated in different warehouses.

I’m sure someone has studied this. Sellers know I shop this way. That’s why they suggest things I might like to buy alongside my other purchases. If it’s something that I never set out to buy in the first place, it doesn’t occupy the same place in my memory as those things on my shopping list. In fact, I’ll bet I forget such purchases within an hour.

What’s the cure for this? I don’t know. Always make a list? Cross off the stuff I don’t need. Only buy what’s left. Keep the list, to remind me what I purchased.

Posted in memories, noticing

You remembered!

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

I think I’m pretty good with names. I don’t work very hard at it. I just find them easy to remember. For some reason, people’s names stick in my mind. At least most of the time.

As I started down the pet food aisle at Walmart, I heard a voice behind me, “Pastor.” I turned and without even thinking said, “Hey, hi, Kathy!”

“You remembered my name!”

I had not seen her for about two years, but her name was right there on my lips. I didn’t even hesitate. So was her husband, Bob. We chatted for a few moments, then parted to find the things on our shopping lists.

In that moment, though, I couldn’t remember her last name. It was weird, because that doesn’t happen to me. I knew it started with a “B.” And I knew it was unique in some way. And I knew it was somewhere in my brain. But I just couldn’t pull it out of my memory.

I also knew that it would some to me sometime later that day. It’s happened before. I’ll be doing something completely different, and the name will suddenly come to mind. Sometimes it happens in an hour. Other times it takes a whole day. The information is in my head. I just can’t find it in the moment. So my subconscious works in the background, searching through files in my brain until it finds what I’m looking for. If I can’t remember something, I don’t worry. I know it will come to me. And it did. I think I was taking out the trash, and just like that Kathy’s last name popped into my mind.

This is fascinating. Somehow my brain knows what’s relevant and what’s not. If I’m probably not going to need a bit of information, it stuffs it away somewhere, like an old box full of papers up on a shelf. Or to be a little more twenty-first century, like digital files and pictures backed up to a flash drive.

I really like memory tricks. I use the peg list from Kevin Trudeau’s Mega Memory. I used the Memory Palace technique for many of my sermons. I love coming up with silly acrostics to remember lists. For example, I always recite “The Hippo Just Put Loose Corn in the Elephant Pen” to remember the things we ought to focus on in Philippians 4:8. “Whatever is True, Honorable, Just, Pure, Lovely, Commendable, Excellent, Praiseworthy…think about such things.” And one of these days I’m going to work on memorizing a deck of cards. There are a number of clever ways to do that. I still make a lot of written lists, too. Just the process of writing out a list helps me remember.

Having said all that, I’ve been converting old journals into digital form (I’m taking pictures of the pages). On those pages are things I’ve done, places I’ve gone, and people I’ve met that I don’t remember. I’m glad I wrote them down. I think my mind is aware of this. If I wrote it down, it doesn’t need to take up space in my brain.

Memory is a fascinating thing.

Posted in 2022 Lent Devotions

Remember

Posted on by William Douthwaite

“Mirror of the Passion” Lent devotion for April 1, 2022. Photo by Anne Nygård on Unsplash

“Remember me when you come into your kingdom” (Luke 23:42).

One day, I guess the conversation will go like this, “Hey, Jesus, remember me? We spent that whole day together. I was the nice criminal, the one who didn’t rail at you all morning. We talked about Paradise, remember? And here we are!”

So when you are suffering the consequences of your actions, are you going to be nasty towards Jesus or respectful? Do you challenge him or confess to him? Do you taunt him or pray to him?

Jesus met a lot of people in three-plus years of ministry. Crowds met him in every town he passed through. Do you think he remembered every encounter, every healing, every question, every face? I think he did.

He knew me before I were born. He knows where I am, what I’m thinking about, where I’m headed, and when I will get there (Psalm 119). He knows the number of hairs on my head (Luke 12:7). He knows about every sparrow that falls to the ground (Luke 12:6). He remembers. He remembers me.

I’m the one who has trouble remembering. I forget his promises and let worry and fear get a foothold in my mind. I forget his faithfulness in the past when I am concerned about the future. I forget to ask him for what I need. I forget to thank him for what I have.

I am impressed at this criminal’s faith. He knows Jesus is going places. Everyone else thinks Jesus is a poor excuse for a king. But this man knows Jesus has a kingdom. He knows he deserved his time on the cross. He knows Jesus is innocent. He knows Jesus is going to make it big one day. One day, he’ll see Jesus on the throne.

And maybe Jesus will have a few minutes for him. “Remember what it was like that day? Yeah, it was brutal. I don’t want to ever go through that again. And how about that darkness? That was creepy.” No one else could have this conversation with Jesus. Only these two experienced that day at The Skull. Only these two could sit and talk about that day over a glass of wonderful wine (Isaiah 25:6).

What unique experiences have you had with Jesus? Ponder that for a few moments. What moments, good or bad, have you two, and only you two, experienced? How about the birth of one of your children? A final moment with a loved one. Getting lost. While many experience similar moments, your life is unique to you. And he was there with you.

What memories have you created with Jesus?

I can’t wait to reminisce with you, Lord.

Posted in memories

First steps

Posted on by William Douthwaite

I had the privilege of watching grandchild number 4 take his first steps a few weeks ago. He will never remember that moment, but we have it preserved in photos and videos. After a month of standing up holding onto tables, legs, chairs, dogs, walls and anything else in reach, he not only let go, but took his first steps forward. I could tell from his face that he was thrilled, excited, tentative and delighted all at the same time. So were we! After those first few steps, he fell back on his diaper-padded bottom, ready to get up and try again.

I doubt if any of us remember our first few steps. But there are other first “steps” we do remember, vivid and forward-moving moments in life. Here’s a few that I recall:

  • The first time I rode a bike. No training wheels here. Dad got me up and going for real on a local playground. I was thrilled, delighted, excited and terrified when I couldn’t remember how to apply the brake. No problem. A set of old-fashioned metal monkey bars brought me to a complete stop, ending my very first bike ride.
  • The first time I broke a bone. Actually the only time I’ve broken a bone. I was on the glider seat of a swing set in the neighbor’s yard, put my foot down to stop, but had it bend backwards a little too far. It swelled up and hurt, but I went to school the next day. After limping around too much, my mom took me to the doctor who x-rayed the fracture and wrapped it up in a plaster cast for the next four weeks.
  • The first time I bought a dog for myself. I was living in New Jersey, was sharing a house with a friend from church, and decided I could get a dog. After considering many breeds, I concluded I wanted a yellow Labrador Retriever. I wanted a large dog I could run and play with. I found an ad in the paper and headed for a house about an hour away in the pine barrens of south Jersey. When I arrived, I got to sit in in the middle of a litter of thirteen Labrador puppies, some yellow, some black. I picked out a yellow that didn’t seem too shy too aggressive. Since he was only six weeks old, the owner wrote a number on his tummy with an indelible marker, and I went back in two weeks to pick up my first dog, Gabriel.
  • The first sermon I preached at my current church, Shepherd of the Coast in Palm Coast, NJ. I don’t remember my other first sermons, but this one sticks in my mind. It was based on 1 Peter 3:15, being ready to give an answer for the hope you have. I had just driven from West Des Moines, IA with a chocolate Lab, Michael. We had to stop for the night at a motel. This was over twenty-years ago, when it was a little harder to find pet-friendly lodging. After I got a room on the second floor, I snuck him up the back steps. Then I snuck him out early in the morning. The whole time I thought, “I hope no one asks if I’ve got an animal in the room with me.” No one did! But it reminded me that though we are supposed to be ready to give an answer for the hope we have in Christ, we secretly hope no one asks!
  • I remember buying my first car. It was a 1972 Ford Mustang 2. It was a actually a pretty crappy car, but it got me to and from my first real job at Bell Labs for a few years. White, stick shift, tan interior. It cost $2,000. I think my Dad fronted the money and I paid him $100 a month to pay him back.

I’m sure I’ve got a lot of other “firsts” that will come to mind. Maybe there will be a few sequels to this post. I do know that there are so many firsts I don’t recall at all: first day at school, first sermon ever preached, first consecration of holy communion elements, first baptism, first funeral, first wedding, etc. But I’ll have to give it some thought, search my mind, and see what I can come up with.

What “firsts” do you remember?