Tag: retired

Posted in retirement

Suddenly, life is full

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Kari Shea on Unsplash

We were both standing at the kitchen island, working on our latest baking projects. My wife was cutting out sugar cookies to be baked and decorated for a granddaughter’s preschool graduation and nascent cottage food business. I was giving my sourdough a final stretch in preparation for an overnight in the fridge.

I chuckled and asked, “We had no idea we’d be doing this six months ago, did we?”

I’m coming up on two years of retirement and my wife has been easing into hers over the past six months. I was never able to come up with a really good answer for the question, “So what are you going to do?” Or, “What’s retirement going to look like for you?” She didn’t many good answers, either.

I think that’s because you just don’t know. You don’t know what opportunities, challenges, or people will show up until they do. In addition to baking and decorating cookies, we’re raising a Great Dane puppy, working on a wellness newsletter, and considering leading a small group. I’m going to lead an online Bible Study Fellowship group in the fall and teach a middle school Sunday School class once a month. None of these things were on the table even six months ago.

Yesterday, the pastor was preaching on Genesis 12. As that chapter unfolds, God says to Abram, “Go,” and “Abram went.” Talk about a bold step of faith. God’s command prompts all sorts of questions, but the only answer is, “I will show you.”

  • “Go.” “Where?” “I will show you.”
  • “I will make of you a great nation.” “How?” “I will show you.”
  • “I will bless you and make your name great.” “How are you going to do that?” “I will show you.”
  • “I will bless those who bless you…in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.” “What do you mean by that?” “I will show you.”

Over the next twenty-five years and eleven chapters of scripture, God does show Abram (Abraham) how he is able to do more than all we ask or imagine. In a lot of ways, the Lord has done the same thing for us. We’ve met great people, traveled to new places, and gotten involved in new ministries.

A lot of other people seemed to be concerned about our retirement life. I wasn’t. I kind of figured God would find a way to fill it up.

Posted in Life

Retired?

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by James Hose Jr on Unsplash

The other day my wife said, “It really bugs you when people ask you that question.” She was right. It’s a tough and uncomfortable question to answer; “So what are you doing now?” Many want to know.

This question was asked before my planned retirement date and and comes fast and furious a year later.

Sometimes it’s a friendly conversation starter. “So what have you been doing?”

Other times I feel like I need to justify my decision to retire. “What do you do all day?”

“How do you pass the time?” That one has notes of depression and meaninglessness.

A year into retirement, I feel guilty saying it’s been great. I haven’t been bored. I don’t miss my work (more on that later). And I’ve been plenty busy. Here’s a little recap of my first year into retirement.

  • I have been writing. In addition to this blog, I wrote a set of Advent devotion in 2022, and then Lent devotions for the following spring. I thought I could monetize these, but only netted $18. Having gotten little feedback, I may not write more in the future.
  • I’ve made four trips to Dallas to visit my son and his family, plus a week long fall color trip to Maggie Valley, NC.
  • I redid all the landscaping in my front yard, painted the inside of the garage, rebuilt some of the backyard kids play fort, converted the front bedroom from a guest room to a music room/study.
  • My wife and I watch some of the Florida grandchildren at least once a week.
  • My church involvement has included a biweekly small group, and a weekly men’s ministry, as well as weekly worship. I also did a year of Zoom Bible Study Fellowship with men from around the world.
  • I’ve read three books a month, often from the library. Most are detective/crime novels.
  • I get to the gym three times a week (free membership) and easily get in 10,000 steps a day walking the dog(s), doing yard work, or other stuff around the house.
  • I’ve been learning bluegrass guitar. I’m not quite ready for a jam, but I’m getting better at my pentatonic scales.
  • I’ve been sorting through thousands of digital photos, deleting duplicates, sorting, and labeling the keeper. I’ve also been paging through hundreds of journals, constructing a time line of our lives. I’d forgotten places we’ve been and things we’ve done.
  • My winter/spring garden yielded lots of cherry tomatoes and way too many jalapeño peppers.
  • I’ve attended a whole bunch of the grandchildrens’ soccer, basketball, t-ball, baseball, and flag football games, plus a dance recital.

I certainly don’t feel like I’m “passing the time” until I cash in my chips. The fact that I don’t miss my work tells me two things. First, it was the right time to retire. Second, I was burnt out.

A number of pastors at the church where I’m now worshiping get a sixty day sabbatical every five years. What a difference that would have made. I rarely got more than two weeks off in a row, ever. Some of that is my fault. I should know better than to keep going on empty.

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoyed pastoral ministry. But I enjoy being out of that role, too. I enjoy just being me.

Posted in Ministry

A lack of leaders

Posted on by William Douthwaite

It’s that time of year when our congregation has to nominate leaders to serve in the coming year.  With nearly two hundred active families, you wouldn’t think it would be so hard to come up with two dozen or so leaders that comprise a church council, board of elders, and a church properties committee.  Yet every fall, we come up short.  I know we’re not the only church that struggles with this challenge.  The basic mood seems to be “I’ll help out, but I don’t want to be in a position of leadership.”

When did leadership become something to avoid?  Granted, not everyone is cut out or qualified for leadership.  But many with those gifts hesitate to step into leadership positions in the church and probably in many volunteer organizations.

Some of it has to do with the consumer mentality that some bring to church with them.  Just as they stop by a restaurant for a meal, they stop by the church for a spiritual meal.  It would never occur to them to actually work there, though.

Some of it must be fear, the fear of having to do it all yourself.  This isn’t a rational fear, for each leader is supposed to recruit a board or committee to carry out different ministries.  No one should be doing it themselves.

Some of it has to do with the retirement state of mind in our area.  They did these jobs when they lived elsewhere.  Now that they’ve retired, someone else can do this work.  “I’m retired.”

When Jesus called disciples, he really didn’t give them a choice.  He gave them authority.  He gave them power from above.  And he sent them out.   Have at it.  Make more disciples.

Having said that, maybe that’s where we fall short.  Perhaps we make more members than disciples.  I have to think about this some more.