Posted in Life

They found my package, and it wasn’t pretty

This is a follow up to “The Case of the Missing Package.”

As soon as I returned home from a recent trip to Dallas, I planned to file a claim with UPS and get the value of the lost item and shipping charges I had paid. Every package I send comes with $100 of insurance. All I have to do is provide a couple of receipts, and the money should be on the way.

When I pulled in the driveway and opened the garage door, I could see a very large package wrapped in lots of white packing tape. My neighbor had brought plenty of packages in while we were gone, but we hadn’t ordered anything that big.

I knew exactly what it was. I opened the flap and peeked inside. Sure enough, it was the missing diaper genie I had shipped to a buyer in South Carolina. Later on I opened it up and it was damaged in several places and accessories were missing. A letter from UPS came along with it. The letter basically blamed me for not packing my shipment correctly. It was my fault, not theirs, so there would be no insurance claim.

The letter had suggestions for future shipments. The gist of the instructions: use lots and lots of tape. Tape up every edge, every corner, every flap with at least three layers of tape. If you don’t use up a whole roll of tape, you haven’t used enough.

I flashed back to packages my mom used to send me. Mom knew how to tape up a package. She sent boxes of goodies to me at college in a shoebox wrapped up in brown paper. She would tie heavy twine around the sides. She then taped it all up with a twine reinforced tape. I am convinced she did use a whole roll of tape to secure every edge, side, and flap. Without a very sharp knife, I could not begin to open the package. Needless to say, she was never guilty of improperly preparing a package for shipment, although I know she spent more on the tape than on the contents.

I don’t think I was at fault either. The shipping guy, where I dropped off my package, didn’t say a word. Okay, I didn’t use a whole roll of tape, but I’m sure I went around the box a lot of times.

The contents were only worth twenty bucks. I only paid fifteen for shipping. It’s not worth my time. But I assure you my future packages will be impervious to damage in the future. Some readers may remember the Samsonite luggage commercial with an ape tossing suitcases around. Yes, that will be my packaging goal from now on.