This yard sale was a bust

Saturday’s garage sale was a bust. Seven people stopped by. Two bought stuff. I made $12.

That’s why I’ll only sit out there for a few hours. No two day eight-hour marathons for me. I put it out on social media and a few roadside stands, but it just wasn’t happening.

The first lady who stopped by walked up and asked, “Are you selling any patio furniture?” I choked back a chuckle, looked at the tables of toys, lamps, and kitchen stuff before answering, “No.” Where did she think we were hiding those items?

The second couple was very friendly. As the woman looked over the toys for sale, she said, “Our youngest just moved out.”

I asked, “How many children do you have?” The husband held up four fingers. I followed up with, “Any grandchildren?”

She answered, “No, and we probably won’t. Two have already had vasectomies.” I thought, “Okay, too much information.” They looked very surprised when I told them I had ten grandchildren.

They didn’t buy anything.

My next customers were a mother and son who drove up in a silver Mercedes. I didn’t quite recognize their language, so I asked where they were from. Haiti. They had a lot to say to each other about the items we were selling. He brought a couple of table lamps over for me to plug in. He set them aside to buy, but she put them back on the table. She had him hold up some room-darkening curtains and held up four fingers, trying to talk me down from $20 for two complete sets. I held up ten fingers. She frowned and shook her head.

She had me plug in a hair straightener. It worked just fine, although she really didn’t have the hair to use it on. She put it aside as if she might buy it. She added three glass vases and a dozen plastic storage tubs with lids. The two bickered back and forth, deciding to buy the two lamps, but putting back the straightener.

Finally they were ready to go, adding a small fan and handing me $10. I said, “Merci,” and they drove off.

A young mother was our last customer, gathering up two silicon baking mats and a few toys for a one-year-old still in the car with her husband.