Author: William Douthwaite

Posted in Life

More hair? I’ll pass.

Posted on by William Douthwaite

I don’t always look at the emails in my spam folder, but when I do, I’ll get a kick out of one of them. The most recent had this subject line: “Rapid and long-lasting hair growth.”

If you know me at all, you know that growing hair is the least of my worries. My hair was pretty much all gray by age fifty, but I have plenty of it. Every barber and stylist who cuts my hair comments on how much they have to comb though. My dermatologist comments, “We don’t have to worry about sunburn up here.” It’s easy to spot me in large group photos. I’m that guy with the thick head of gray.

I was at a friend’s birthday party and we all huddled up for a group shot. His family printed and framed the picture for him. When people looked at the picture, they would point to my gray-haired head and ask, “Who’s that?”

While most of them were born with peach fuzz, my children all grew up to have thick heads of hair. Most of the grandkids are keeping with that tradition. A couple of two-year-olds are taking their time, but they are working hard on the tradition.

The spam email went on to promise the regrowth of hair I thought was lost forever – just by taking a tablespoon of “this” every day. I don’t know what “this” was. I didn’t click that far into the advertisement. I know growing hair is a big business. Just not for me.

While most spam email is pretty good at knowing what you might be interested in, this algorithm got it all wrong. Kind of like the guy selling an ice maker to an eskimo, right?

Posted in Life

Today at the zoo: A predictable adventure

Posted on by William Douthwaite

My wife and I took our four-year-old grandson to the Jacksonville, Florida zoo today. It was a gorgeous day, with blue skies, in the 70s, nice breeze.

We have a family membership and have been there many times. Last night I predicted how the visit would go.

  • First, we stop to look at the flamingos and comment on how stinky they are.
  • As we walk through the African loop, we will look at the warthogs and also comment on how stinky they are.
  • We will look in vain for the cheetahs, see the ostrich, and then the rhinos.
  • After a quick pass through the snake house, we will pause to visit the elephants.
  • From there we’ll pass by the lions.
  • Next, we’ll go to the giraffe overlook and feed them a few branches.
  • Doubling back just a little, we’ll look to see how many manatees are in the recovery tank.
  • Back on the main drag, my grandson will point out the Kona Ice truck, just in case we had forgotten about it.
  • We’ll swing through the path that takes us by the bonobos and gorillas.
  • Next is the carousel. We’ll go on several rides with our enhanced experience wristbands.
  • After lunch, we’ll walk to the far end of the zoo to see the Komodo dragon and the tigers.
  • The train will take us back to the front of the park, and we’ll cover a cup of Kona Ice with every flavor of syrup.

I was spot on for everything except the dragon and tigers. We decided not to go all the way back there today.

“Well,” you might ask, “was there anything new at the zoo?”

Absolutely. No two trips are alike.

  • The elephants were standing much closer than they usually do, giving us a great view.
  • Most of the giraffes were a little standoffish, but one came over and my grandson and I got to feed her. No line at the giraffes, so we had several opportunities each. She was so close we could have reached right out and touched her. But that’s one of the things you cannot do.
  • One of the lionesses was relaxing in the sun on a huge rock just a few yards from the viewing area. She was beautiful.
  • One of the rhinos was very close to the raised walkway, too. They are usually all the way across the field from us.
  • On the way to see the manatees, the bald eagle was on the ground just on the other side of the fence. Probably the closest I’ve ever been to one.
  • We got to see Kevin, the two-year-old baby gorilla up close against the glass.
  • All the snakes in the snake house were out and visible. Usually many of them are hiding in the rocks.

So while the day was predictable, it was also an adventure. For me, zoos always are.

Posted in Life

I’m glad you all showed up

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Gabriel Benois on Unsplash

Yesterday’s post, as I hope many of my readers figured out, was just a bit of micro-fiction to wrap up April. My thoughts today are the real deal, fresh from a Zoom meeting with my Bible Study Fellowship group.

With just one more session to go before we break for the summer, we’re starting to evaluate the past thirty weeks we’ve spent together. We twenty or so men have prayed, studied, laughed, and gotten to know each other. These things only happened because these men showed up weekly to spend some time together.

It’s all voluntary. No one has to show up at all. There are no penalties for absence. And yet every week, most of the men join the room, prepared to talk about the past week’s study.

The group leader called it the “Covid-cloud silver lining.” Though Zoom has been around for more than a decade, it became a part of everyday life in 2020 when everyone was in quarantine. Worship, school, conventions, concerts, recitals, graduations, and reunions all happened virtually via Zoom.

On top of all that, people showed up for groups that never would have existed before. My group consists of men from Florida, California, Virginia, Iowa, Illinois, Kenya, and Ethiopia. Though thousands of miles apart, we were able to crowd ourselves into a thirteen-inch laptop screen.

I’m grateful for all who showed up each week. Each brought ideas and questions that never occurred, to me, stretching my understanding of the scripture we studied. The discussion filled the room with the joys and struggles of following Christ. Over time, a collection of strangers who showed up became friends. They made me want to show up, too.

I encourage you to show up, too. Some call it “being present.” Be there with someone who loves, encourages, challenges, and shows up to be with you.

Posted in flash fiction

A room full of emptiness

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Chris Montgomery on Unsplash

“I’m going to miss you guys.”

The final session of my online class had just ended. It was a group of guys who hailed from different states and a few who lived in other countries. Over the course of thirty weeks, we had gotten to know each other well, spending an hour together each week.

One by one each logged off. When the room was down to just me and one other person, I said, “The next time I’m up your way, I’ll reach out. Maybe I can stop by and we can grab a cup of coffee.”

He said “That sounds great.” And then I was there in the virtual room alone.

About an hour later, I got an email from the group leader discouraging me from trying to meet anyone from the group in person. When I asked why, he explained, “None of the people in this group actually exist. Everyone but you and I were generated and animated by artificial intelligence. It’s just a virtual group of guys.”

I read the email over and over. How could that be? When I signed up for a “virtual” class, I thought I’d learn with living, breathing people sitting at laptops just like me. There is no way that AI has come this far this fast!

I went back to the website where I signed up for the class. I read carefully through the terms and conditions until I reached a disclaimer that I had quickly skimmed and agreed to. “Augmented reality may be used to enhance discussion rooms.”

So none of this was real? None of the students exist? My classmates – and friends – were nothing more than sophisticated code and creative algorithms? On the one hand, the room was filled with some of the best friends I’ve ever had. On the other hand, it was an empty room.

I really am going to miss those guys.

Posted in Life

I don’t want to miss the storm

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by reza shayestehpour on Unsplash

Constant news updates warned of approaching storms. News feeds were filled with photos of hands gripping baseball-sized hail. The traffic update boards on the interstate alerted drivers to a tornado watch. The weather radar was lit with green, yellow, orange, and red-colored systems headed our way. Storm trackers were dotted with little lightning bolts. The radio station reported where the storms were most likely to hit next and when.

I wondered if our evening meeting would be canceled. People are like that, you know. Events are canceled when someone catches the scent of severe weather. I’m happy about this. I don’t want to be out on the road when the rain is so heavy I can hardly see the taillights of the car in front of me. I want to be inside if and when a funnel cloud decides to appear. I am thankful for a safe and secure home in which to wait out the storm.

This time the storms never reached our area. Very little rain, just a little wind, and no destructive winds. To be honest, I was disappointed. I’m glad no storms hurt my neighborhood (or any neighborhood).

But I missed the storm.

I missed the sheets of rain blowing across our street. I missed the dark clouds rushing by. I missed the thunder rumbling in the distance. I missed watching the trees swaying in the wind. I missed the sound of a million drops on the roof.

I missed the storm.

Rainy afternoons are great for naps. Sleep comes quickly with the soothing sound of the wind. The rumble of far-off thunder is nature’s subwoofer, with frequencies felt as much as heard. The steady tapping of drops on the roof is calming.

The best part about the storm? I know the One who made the storms and can control them. The storm reminds me of His power, His presence, and His promises.

Posted in Easter

The Lilies are blooming!

Posted on by William Douthwaite

It’s Easter in my garden. The lilies are blooming! I know Easter Sunday was April 9. But each spring, the lilies in my garden are late arrivals. I don’t mind. Technically the church season of Easter lasts seven weeks, so they get a pass.

I’ve only planted eight of these lilies. They’ve multiplied over the years. I did a quick count. I will get over thirty blossoms in the next week or so. Beautiful white blooms announcing, “He is risen!”

I’ve always thought that the blooming Easter lily was a reminder of the empty tomb of Jesus. But they are also a picture of the Revelation 7 saints dressed in white. Jesus said they remind us that God will provide, so we don’t have to be anxious about what we wear.

The rising sun, singing birds, ocean waves, stars in the sky, and the lily are reminders of God’s presence, power, promises, and provision.

Posted in Life

Just push the button.

Posted on by William Douthwaite

This week, I was helping someone with the tech needed in a college classroom. The designated room was equipped with a computer, projector, and screen. The first thing I had to figure out was how to lower the screen.

I thought, “There’s got to be a switch close by, probably on the wall.” Sure enough, I tried one, and the screen lowered into place. We were ready to go.

Some would say, “You just can’t go around pushing buttons. You don’t know what’s going to happen.” I figure there’s only one way to find out what will happen.

Push the button.

I’m a push-the-button kind of person. Flip the switch. Turn the knob. In a moment, you’ll know exactly what it does. If you don’t like what happens, try something else. Type a command. Click and drag. Hit escape. See what happens.

I’m especially intrigued by light switched taped in an on or off position. Tags that say, “Do not remove under penalty of the law.” Signs next to thermostats warning, “Do not adjust.” Labels advising, “No user-serviceable parts inside.”

I do heed a “Warning: High Voltage” sign. And the “do not eat” instruction on that little packet of whatever that comes in just about everything. And I never operate heavy machinery after taking a decongestant.

But everything else is fair game. Like the sign announcing, “Do not enter.” “Authorized Personnel Only.” “Closed.” I’ll try the door. Sometimes, it’s unlocked.

I believe that’s why I’m good at fixing things. I’ll try something until I get the desired result. I do this with computers, phones, the microwave oven, rebooting the wifi, changing the time on the car clock, the church sound board, getting something to print, or setting up a university classroom. I push the button.

I’m amazed to learn that not everyone is like this. Some are afraid to touch anything. What if it breaks? What if I get caught? What if I shut down the power grid to the entire east coast of the United States?

I say, “Relax.” You can always reboot. Power down and restart. You can undo what you’ve done. You can try something else. You can give up and get a snack. You can say, “I didn’t know.” Or, “I didn’t do it.” You can try again tomorrow.

Come on. Push the button!

Posted in Life, Moments of grace

What’s the deal with birthdays?

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

A granddaughter will turn two in a few days. In preparation, my daughter (her aunt) called my son (the dad) to let him know a present was on the way. The birthday gift overheard the conversation, smiled and said, “I wait for present!”

First birthday? You’re oblivious. Mom and dad will have a party, but you won’t understand or remember it. A year later you’ll be up to speed. For the past month or so, everyone’s been reminding you, “It’s almost your birthday!” They’ve been asking, “How old will you be? Grown-ups have helped you master the art of hold up two fingers and proudly saying, “Two.” And somehow you’ve caught on to the reality that there will be presents. You’ve become a little consumer.

Big birthday celebrations every year for every child are common now. Some people spend a whole week observing their birthday. When did birthday celebrations begin?

To my surprise, the birthday celebration is a recent idea in the United States, from the mid-nineteenth century.1 Before that, birthdays were for the rich or the nobility. Everyone knew when George Washington’s birthday was. For everyone else, the day passed unnoticed.

The change came with industrialization. With clocks on the wall and watches in their pockets, people became more aware of time. Trains and streetcars ran on schedules and workers punched in and out of their factory shifts. Sensitive to the passage of time, students were separated by grades. Doctors treated older patients differently. Talk of being on time, ahead of time, and behind the times entered our conversations. Age – and birthdays – became significant.

Cake dates back to the Roman empire. Candles are a German tradition. Birthday gifts grew out of old fashioned western capitalism.

It’s a mixed bag. Little ones can’t wait for their next birthday. Some adults stop celebrating as if ignoring the date will prevent aging. My birthday is clustered with a daughter and two granddaughters in July, so it’s always fun. Giant cake for four? Sweet! Four cakes? Even sweeter.

1https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/11/history-birthday-celebrations/620585/

Posted in Life

“I know that face!”

Posted on by William Douthwaite

I got caught by facial recognition. Twice.

I was at the gym and just about to get under the bar for a second set of squats. A young lady who was doing some personal training came up and said,  “I’m sorry, I just have to ask – did you used to help out a summer program at the church just down the road?”

“I used to. I’m retired now.”

She told me her name and said, “That used to be my favorite thing every summer!”

I remembered her. “You went to our preschool, too, didn’t you?”

“Yeah. I loved it there!”

Every once in a while, someone from the past will recognize me. They’ve all grown up so I don’t know them. But when they see my head of gray hair and they remember me!

Fifteen minutes later, as struggled through another exercise, an older gentleman came up to me and asked, “Didn’t you used to meet with a group of men at the restaurant over there?”

“Yes, I did. But I stopped doing that last summer.”

“I thought I recognized you. I used to sit at the table one row over on Thursday mornings, too.”

He kind of looked familiar, but I had never actually met him. I think one of the men in our group had invited him to join us, but he preferred to eat by himself.

He said, “I retired in 1999.” Then he added, “Keep up the good work.”

Facial recognition technology is amazing. But so is the ability of the human mind to see a face and recognize someone from someplace and some moment in life.