Posted in flash fiction

Just a box of ashes? Or something (someone) more?

Photo by Polina Tankilevitch on pexels.com

The attic stairs moaned like an old man getting out of bed in the morning as I pulled them down from the garage ceiling. As I ascended the stairs, I thought to myself, “I hope the light still works.” I found the cord and pulled. Suddenly, I could see to the far reaches beneath the roof. It was empty except for one box.

When we moved into the house, we made a pact. We will not fill the attic with stuff. We worked too hard to declutter our lives with this move. If there is no place for it in the house, we’ll sell it or donate it. But it will not find a place in our attic.

Unless we’re talking about Christmas. Five totes of decorations, one filled with nativities, Santas, snowmen, and themed-plates, plus a three-part Christmas tree had to go somewhere. April is a long way from the holidays, so all those things get a place in the attic.

As I surveyed the space, I was glad to see some plywood nailed across the the rafters. From experience, I knew it was way too easy to step through the ceiling.

I scrambled back down the stairs for the first tote. I pushed it up ahead of me and found a good place to start storing up Christmas. I grabbed the box left behind by the previous owners and headed back down for more.

The box was about eight inches per side, a cube that felt to be a little more than five pounds. What did they forget to take with them? What did they leave behind?

I was too curious to wait. I grabbed by knife and sliced through the packing tape. Pulling the box flap aside, I looked inside and saw a plastic bag secured by a twist tie. I untwisted the tie and looked inside, finding what looked like ashes.

Ashes. Uh-oh. I’ve held a box like this before. Someone once handed me a box like this in their backyard at a family memorial and said, “Do what you usually do.” At the time, I was a rookie pastor who had never held a box of remains. As we stood in the backyard, bordering a salt marsh, I said a quick prayer, opened up the box, and threw the contents up into the air, letting the wind carry them away. (Note: always make sure the wind is blowing away from you and the family’s home.)

Ashes. This was a box filled with someone’s remains. Grandma? Uncle Sid? The wife everyone thought ran away with the other guy? The family dog? Great-grandpa?

It was weird, but I had to make the phone call. “Hey, I found a box in the attic. When can I drop it off?”

It wasn’t theirs. They didn’t leave anything behind. They never went up into the attic. It must have been from a previous owner. “I’m sorry, I don’t know how to get in touch with them.”

Great. Here is a person, a life, a relative, reduced to a box of ashes. Doesn’t anyone miss this, I mean, them? Is this what we’ll all be someday, a box of ashes forgotten in an attic?

Maybe there’s something written on the box. A clue. A crematory? Funeral home?

Nada. Nothing. Not a clue as to who this was. I searched the internet. No obituaries, stories, or missing persons connected with this address.

It’s sobering to realize that this is how you’ll end up. A simple six or maybe seven pounds of ashes in a box in an attic. It’s a little depressing, too.

As I sat and pondered my discovery, something caught my eye. It was subtle, not gray. Something shiny? This is too weird. I ran my finger through the ashes and hit something hard. Bone? No. It’s…a ring. A gold ring. It’s large, like one that would fit a man’s finger.

Well, it’s not Grandma. Or Aunt Kate. Or the missing wife.

It was Uncle John. Great-grandpa Will. Someone with large fingers and strong hands.

Well, we’re not going to live here forever. I folded the flaps together and pushed the box to a far corner of the attic. When we move to another house, we’ll just leave it – or them – right here.

This is their home.

Posted in flash fiction

Snakes?

Wait a minute. That’s not a shadow. It’s moving on it’s own. That’s a slither. It’s a snake. A black snake silently glided through the garden mulch into the woods next door.

“Hey, if you’re here to eat mice or rats, come back any time.”

Yeah, I talk to animals sometimes. I whistle at the birds. My dog patiently listens to my random thoughts as we walk. Why not talk to the snake? My neighbor caught a bunch of mice in his attic. Rats have gnawed at spots on my wooden fence. Maybe he can help me out.

A few days later, he was back. Wait a minute. Do two of them? Two three-foot black snakes. I guess he thought it was OK to bring a friend.

Within a week, the news spread. I counted five of them. They didn’t even crawl away when I opened the garage door. “Hey, I didn’t say you could bring all your family and friends. Get out of here! My wife is going to freak out.”

This is creepy. Ok, so there aren’t any mice in the area. But my yard is not a snake sanctuary. They have to go.

Is that a hawk perched in the pine tree. I chuckled, “Hey, can I interest you in some snakes?”

Posted in flash fiction

A bloody, one-star review

“Son of a bitch!”

Drops of blood dotted the floor. I grabbed a paper towel to press against my stinging fingertips. “Man, that stings.”

It was just a simple piece of wood, sanded smooth and nicely stained. Necklaces would hang from a row of gold-colored cup hooks. A few pieces of double-sided tape would hold it to the side of the antique dresser. I could make one of these and sell them in my own online store.

I must have caught a splinter or something. I almost cut myself again before I noticed the shiny metal corners. I rubbed my finger across a razor blade embedded in the edge. Ingenious. Anyone handling this would cut themselves.

I hadn’t read much about the artisan or product reviews. It was cheap. Fifteen bucks. I just added it to my cart and checked out.

Now I was curious. Had this happened to anyone else? How many items had been sold? How much blood had been spilled?

Every review read like a chapter in a horror novel or a really bad night in the emergency room.

“Small barbed pins embedded themselves into the palm of my hand when I opened the jewelry box.”

“Hot water dissolved the mug’s ceramic coating into my tea, resulting in acid burns to my tongue and throat.”

“Blisters covered my skin where the gold chain hung around my neck.”

“Insects swarmed from tiny eggs glued on the back of the wooden picture frame.”

Four stitches and a painful injection later, I put on my thick leather yard work gloves, packed everything back up in the original box, and sent it back. I added my scathing one-star review to many others, warning future shoppers.

Weeks later, wounds just about healed, my wife brought a box in from the front porch. Coughing, she asked, “Did you order something?”

Before I could come out to say, “I don’t think so,” she had collapsed on the floor.

Posted in flash fiction

A room full of emptiness

“I’m going to miss you guys.”

The final session of my online class had just ended. It was a group of guys who hailed from different states and a few who lived in other countries. Over the course of thirty weeks, we had gotten to know each other well, spending an hour together each week.

One by one each logged off. When the room was down to just me and one other person, I said, “The next time I’m up your way, I’ll reach out. Maybe I can stop by and we can grab a cup of coffee.”

He said “That sounds great.” And then I was there in the virtual room alone.

About an hour later, I got an email from the group leader discouraging me from trying to meet anyone from the group in person. When I asked why, he explained, “None of the people in this group actually exist. Everyone but you and I were generated and animated by artificial intelligence. It’s just a virtual group of guys.”

I read the email over and over. How could that be? When I signed up for a “virtual” class, I thought I’d learn with living, breathing people sitting at laptops just like me. There is no way that AI has come this far this fast!

I went back to the website where I signed up for the class. I read carefully through the terms and conditions until I reached a disclaimer that I had quickly skimmed and agreed to. “Augmented reality may be used to enhance discussion rooms.”

So none of this was real? None of the students exist? My classmates – and friends – were nothing more than sophisticated code and creative algorithms? On the one hand, the room was filled with some of the best friends I’ve ever had. On the other hand, it was an empty room.

I really am going to miss those guys.

Posted in flash fiction, Stories

The plant spies

“Will you take ten for both of those?”

They were my last two plants. Crotons. Each was marked six dollars. I had been out there all morning, so I was ready to call it a day. I said, “Sure,” stuffed the ten in my pocked, folded up the table and headed inside.

I wish I had thought of this before. Just piggyback on the neighbor’s yard sale. Every one walked by the table on the way to their cars, and many stopped to look – and buy. Plus, it was nearly pure profit. I propagated plants in pots I already had. Some I grew from seeds. A few had blossoms on them. Those always go first.

But that’s not the best part.

A few hours later, I opened up my laptop to see where the plants had ended up. The map was speckled with green dots. Some were still. Others were moving quickly on highways. Each nanobot, absorbed from the soil through the roots, gave me real time GPS locations.

I clicked on one about a mile from my house, opening up a small window on my screen. Another click, and I had access to the home wifi. I only had to run the password generator for a few second, and then I could login. Sweet. Someone was streaming a movie. Another was playing an online game. A voice asked “What’s the temperature outside?” Of course, someone was shopping. Someone is always shopping.

Must be a do-it-yourselfer. They had a nail gun and a miter saw in their shopping cart. Just before they clicked Buy Now, I changed the shipping address. In a few days, the box would arrive at my Amazon pickup location. Sweet.

I closed that window and clicked another green spot on the map. This time I caught a login and password for a streaming service I’ve wanted to try. Finally, something different to watch tonight.

Okay, one more. Wow, that one’s about twenty-five miles away. I’m just going to have fun with this one. I turned up the wifi thermostat. They’ll be sweating pretty soon.

Each nanobot has enough power for a single task. I’ll look at some more tomorrow.

Time to pick out a movie.

Posted in flash fiction

Welcome to the neighborhood

“What’s that monitor for?”

“I don’t know,” I replied. “The old lady just left it here. I don’t even know if it works.”

I reached behind the twenty-three inch screen and pressed the power button. The screen immediately lit up with a dozen little views of the outside world. I looked at them for a moment, and then I stepped outside. I hadn’t noticed them before but there were security cameras at each corner of the house, one aimed at each door, and others covering the yard. When I went back inside, I realized I could see anyone approaching from any direction any time of the day.

When we looked at the house and drove around the neighborhood, we felt like a very safe place to life. None of the neighbors we talked to mentioned any problems with break-ins. Why had the previous owners invested in such a high tech system?

“Look, I can tap here and fill up the whole screen with one camera view. Oh, and look, I can zoom in and out, too. And pan across the yard. This is crazy. Wait a minute, that looks like some kind of night vision mode. And what’s this?”

Tapping the icon brought up a whole bunch of file folder icons. Each of them was filled with footage from each of the cameras. Whoa! Years and years of security footage from every imaginable angle.

I tapped on an icon and saw the backyard. I watched the grass grow for a few moments. A rain shower flooded the side yard. Squirrels chased each other on top of the fence.

I tapped a third and watched people and traffic passing by the front of the house. You know, the usual. Kid on a scooter. Ice cream truck. A cat. Mom with a stroller. Amazon truck. Pretty boring.

“Now that’s interesting…” A camera panned back and forth, zoomed in and out trying to find the focus. Suddenly, there it was, two people shouting and pushing each other inside the house right across the street. I couldn’t look away. She pummeled him. He tried to cover up. Spit and blood flew everywhere. They shifted out of sight for just a moment. When they came back he had his hands on her neck!

The video cut out. I just stared at the blank screen. When was that? How do I bring up a time stamp. Did anyone call the police? Should I call someone?

Bring-bring-bring. I think that’s my doorbell. The screen switched to the front door camera.

It was them.

Her hair was a mess. His eye was swollen shut. Blood dripped out of his nose! Her blouse was ripped. And they looked pissed.

Bring-bring-bring. They weren’t leaving. Thy stared at the camera. They knew. They knew I was watching.

What do I do? Grab a bat? Call 911? Here goes nothing. I took a deep breath and slowly turned the deadlock. They stood back as I cracked the door.

“Yes?”

“Hi. We saw you moving in the other day. We just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood. We brought you some cookies.” Tupperware. Figures.

“Uh, ok. Thanks. Can you just leave them there? I’m not feeling very well.”

“Hey, no problem. Let us know if you need anything.”

I bolted the door and watched the video of them walking hand-in-hand back across the street.

I flipped on the camera, popped open a beer and sat down.

A door slammed. Something flew across the room.

Round two.

Posted in flash fiction

The flamingo

As he pulled into the driveway, beads of sweat began to run down the side of his face. His stomach knotted. It was right there, in front of his house, was the upside down flamingo. They knew. They knew everything.

He had been so careful. He never used his real name. All the money was offshore. He never used the same burner phone twice. Every communication went through at least a dozen servers all over the world, each with different encryptions. Long hair, crewcut, mustache, goatee, clean shaven – he changed his look every month.

How did they know? How did they find out? How did they find out where he lived?

It didn’t matter. His whole world just turned upside down. He just kept on driving. He couldn’t go home. He couldn’t call his family. Or a friend.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a few folder bills. Thirty-seven dollars. He wouldn’t get far with that. But he couldn’t go to the ATM. He couldn’t cash a check. He dared not use a credit card. If he drove his car, some camera would pick up his license plate. He just had to keep moving. He had to keep out of sight.

There was only one option. He jabbed at the unused burner phone to get a taxi. He had just enough for a ride to the zoo. Flashing a fake membership card, he went from the turnstile right to the flamingo pond. Leaning on the rail, watching the wary birds, a quiet voice said, “That didn’t take long.”

“What do you want? Just leave my family alone.”

“You know what we want.”

He took the popcorn box, not surprised at how heavy it felt. It was the usual Glock. The clip was full, but he would only need one shot. He slowly walked towards the exit.

He vowed this would be the last time.

Just like last time.

Posted in flash fiction

That’ll teach you!

“You son of a…”

From my backyard I could hear the volume go up with each expletive and each futile tug on the starter rope. My neighbor was reaching the end of his rope but wouldn’t give up trying to revive the expired lawnmower.

I climbed into the backyard kids fort to watch the kicking, screaming, and frustration reach the point of no return. Suddenly, with surprising strength and the wrath of Khan, he picked up the mower and angrily snapped it in two over his knee! “There! That’ll teach you!”

Now it sits out in front of his house, a memorial to his rage,

Posted in flash fiction

Ding

“Ding.”

Oh no. Not again.

“Ding.”

“Andy, if I hear that bell one more time, I’m going to throw it out the window!”

“No! I found it. It’s my friend.”

That’s how the conversations go on the summer youth mission trip. Someone always finds an annoying “friend.” An inanimate object that works its way into the group.

“Ding!”

Don’t say anything. Just let it go. Maybe they’ll fall asleep.

“Ding.”

Before I could open my mouth, a series of clunks echoed down the hallway. The slamming of metal bars woke the whole room of sleeping youth.

“What was that?”

Our whole group had to move up stairs. The church where our summer mission group was sleeping needed the space for one of their summer programs. No problem. We carted all our backpacks, air mattresses and sleeping bags up to the third floor.

The long hallway on the third floor was lined with doors that split in the middle. The top half of each was a smoky glass. Both halves were locked. The doorknobs turned, but the doors wouldn’t budge. What was back there?

We all sat up from our sleeping bags as the ka-chunk, ka-chunk, ka-chunk continued from door to door.

I went to the door and looked out. “Don’t go out there!” I held up my hand. Shhh. Relax. Sit still. “Stay here.”

When I stepped out into the hallway, I saw the top half of each door ajar. It was like the whole place was suddenly open for business. I slowly walked toward the first door. It squeaked a little as it swung open. I cautiously peeked in.

I saw stacks of chairs, an erased chalkboard and two large empty trashcans. Nothing too exciting.

Feeling relieved and bolder, I moved towards the second open half-door. I took a deep breath and stepped right up to the doorway.

I quickly stepped back, pressing my back against the wall. Did he see me? I stayed perfectly still. I didn’t even breath. I know he saw me. What do I do?

I saw a few heads peering from the doorway down the hall. I frantically motioned them to go back.

“Ding.”

I gasped. The bell’s ring lingered in the air for seconds, finally fading into silence. I didn’t move a muscle.

What was that sound? I looked down to see the floor boards rising and sinking, as if some unseen feet were walking by. I could feel the slow, steady movement of the floorboards under my feet. Whatever it was, it was moving towards the room where our youth were no longer sleeping.

I took off down the hall. I had to get there first. “Let’s go. Everyone. Out. Now. No, don’t take anything. Just go down the stairs and out!”

As the last one disappeared down the stairwell, I felt something grab my shoulder. I twisted away, dropped to the ground, rolled and got back on my feet. “Oh no you don’t,” I whispered as I sprinted towards the stairs. Two, three stairs at a time, I hit the first landing hard. Panting, I burst through the exit out into the courtyard. “Go! Run!”

Looking over my shoulder, the door behind me closed. Windows on all the floors slammed shut. A light flashed and then everything went dark.

“Ding.”