Posted in Ministry

I forgot.

Posted on by William Douthwaite
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Photo by Anne Zwagers on Unsplash

I forgot.

I just totally, completely forgot. The next morning, I glanced at my calendar and realized I was a no-show for an appointment I made with one of my homebound members several weeks ago. I made the appointment. I wrote it on my calendar. I was aware of it on Monday when I looked over my week. I was also aware of it on Friday when I realized I hadn’t gone.

I never do that. I never miss an appointment. I never skip out on a commitment. Never. What in the world is going on? Here are some possibilities.

  • I’m getting old. Starting to forget things. Do I have to go there? No, this is my blog. I’ll write about that when I’m ready. Unless I forget.
  • I got too busy. I wasn’t home binging on Netflix. I went to a rehab center to visit two members and then on to a hospital to visit another who had just had surgery. I needed to be there, too. Not a great excuse. Just an excuse.
  • I got sloppy. I didn’t set an alert on my calendar. I didn’t write myself a not the night before. I didn’t check my calendar that day. I just kind of slid into the day without checking in with myself.
  • I got distracted. By Advent. Christmas. Helping some guy I didn’t even know get a hotel room. Facebook. Twitter. Reddit. YouTube. Facebook.
  • I’m human. Oh no, I don’t like that one. I aspire to walk on water, turn water into wine, cast out demons and shut down the devil. Only problem is, I strike out over and over. And I don’t like that one bit.

Not long after I looked at my calendar and realized I had blown it, I got an email from the family. They apologized to me for not confirming the appointment. O not you don’t. This was my fault. I apologized to them. They graciously forgave and rescheduled. We’ll get 2018 off to a good start. With a clean slate, a clean conscience, and an overdue visit. And I set three alerts for that appointment!

God’s grace is indeed amazing. But sometimes, yours is pretty amazing, too. Thank you.

Posted in Ministry, preaching

Talking to myself (again)

Posted on by William Douthwaite
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Photo by Mariam Soliman on Unsplash

Ten minutes before the memorial service began today, someone came over and said, “We’re not going to fit.”

We had everything set up and ready to go in our chapel, which seats about fifth comfortably. It was obvious we were going to exceed that. “Ok,” I said, “Everyone grab something.” Every able pair of hands grabbed flower arrangements, candles, pictures, the urn, a TV and computer for the slide show, plus my bible. The organist quickly ended the piece she was on and we were on our way to the main sanctuary. With grace and aplomb, we got everything set and ready to go just a few minutes after our scheduled start time.

When someone asks, “So how did the funeral go?” it’s hard to give an objective answer. After all, it is a funeral. But it went well, with a wide variety of people there to support and encourage the bereaved family, great Advent songs, and courageous thoughts shared by family members.

I almost always keep my composure, but today was an exception. Nine minutes and 45 seconds into my ten minute message, I mentioned a few images of the promised new heavens and new earth, and said,

If God has something like that in store for us, we can confidently commend our dear ones into his care. And he will give us the faith to get there ourselves.

But then for a few seconds, which seemed like a whole minute, I paused as emotion swelled up in my throat and moisture began to cloud my vision. I had to take a few deep breaths before continuing,

Death is wrong. It’s not the end of the trail. Jesus was right. Nothing is going to separate us from his love.

It’s not like I was hearing those words for the first time. I wrote them. But in that moment, I realized that there would be times that I would have to commend those I love into his care, and I would have to hold on tightly to his promises. For a few seconds, it was like I was speaking to myself. Or maybe even more accurately, God was speaking to me.

That’s pretty good motivation to preach the word. You get to hear it, too!

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in God, Life

Too many emotions

Posted on by William Douthwaite
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Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Here we are, just nine days away from Christmas, and I am conducting a funeral tomorrow afternoon. I know, death doesn’t take a holiday. Anything can happen around the most festive days of the year as well as those which seem quite ordinary. There really isn’t a “good” day for a funeral, is there?

But when it happens near a significant holiday, there is a challenging dynamic. It’s already an emotional time of the year, filled with excitement, memories, expectations, travel and celebration. Add to that a few tablespoons of grief, a few ounces of sadness, a pinch of fear, and a large measure of mortality, and you’ve got quite a stew of feelings to deal with.

It’s like too many emotions at once. Why can’t we deal with just one at a time? We could grieve today, then put that aside to consider our mortality, and when that’s over, spend time with family for support and comfort. It never works out that way. You have to handle all the feelings at once, from the tears of missing someone, to the joy of having family together, to the guilt of not having said or done more, to the memories stories that create laughter. You cry, compose yourself, laugh and find some comfort, only to feel the tears well up once again. You think, “I should be able to handle this,” and “I just can’t handle this” simultaneously. You’re a mess.

You know what? God created that mess. He made you. With emotions. And they aren’t a bad thing. When Jesus was born, he came with a whole set of emotions. Since he was the sinless Son of God, emotions can’t be a bad thing. They are just part of the package of being a person. Of being you. Jesus cried, grieved, felt compassion (felt like a punch in the gut), anger, despair, frustration, joy, loneliness, peace, love, amazement, and probably a whole lot more. And we like the fact that he was emotional. We can relate to that.

So it’s OK to be an emotional mess. At a funeral, at Christmas, on your birthday or on Tuesday. It’s just part of being you, someone wonderfully and fearfully made in the image of God, who by the way, is very emotional in the Old Testament as well as in the gospels. He’s jealous of you, laughs at those who challenge him, grieves over sin, gets angry at times, but loves his people to the end. What? God’s an emotional mess? Thank God!

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in church, Ministry

The very first time

Posted on by William Douthwaite
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Photo by chuttersnap on Unsplash

I have no idea how much courage it takes to walk into a church for the first time, uninvited, curious, knowing no one, not knowing what to expect, wondering how I’ll be treated and hoping that I don’t make a fool of myself.

I haven’t done that for a long, long time. I think the last time was 1982 when I had just moved to Austin, TX, found the nearest Lutheran Church – Missouri Synod congregation, and showed up for worship at Christ Lutheran Church on the south side of the city. I am thankful for their gracious welcome and letting me be a part of their church life for the next 8 months.

I thought of this when a family I had never met before came to our evening midweek Advent worship last night. They found us on Facebook. Cool. We put a lot of stuff out there hoping that some of over two billion users will see it. They did, and they came. I was conscious of their presence all night. I may have been more nervous than they were. Going though my mind: Will the members step up and welcome them? Will my message speak to them? Will they find the service meaningful? Will they like me, our church, the experience?

All right, take a breath. This isn’t an audition. This is worship. We are responding to the presence of the Savior and his gifts of grace. The angels in heaven are rejoicing when one sinner repents, and that includes my moments. It is a privilege and a blessing to simply be a place where a family can find a moment of quiet, grace and joy in a busy, demanding and unforgiving world.

My prayer is that we welcome the people we meet for the first time as those whom our Lord has known since before they came to be. A friend of Jesus ought always be a friend of mine.

Posted in Good News Club, Ministry

The room suddenly got very quiet.

Posted on by William Douthwaite
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(Not our club, just a random pic)

Last Monday afternoon’s Good News Club was, let’s say, “spirited.” Anytime you get within spitting distance of Christmas, there will be a surplus of kid energy filling any size room. It was review week, which brings out the highly competitive side of the group as well.

So we reviewed our bible stories from the last five week: Jesus turning water into wine, meeting with Nicodemus, talking to a woman by a well, healing a nobleman’s child and restoring sight to a blind man. I am always impressed at how much they remember, because sometimes it doesn’t seem like anyone is paying attention at all.

Then, after a few songs, the room suddenly got quiet. I know, I was shocked, too, as well as the rest of our team. Review weeks include a Gospel spotlight, and the room-hushing moment was when I told them that God knows everything about them, including all the bad things. We’ve told them that before. Plenty of times. As a group and individually. Maybe some secular holiday influence helped me out here. I don’t know. All I know is that you could her a pin drop, and that never, ever happens in our club.

“God knows everything about you. He knows everything you’ve ever done.” The look on the their eyes and the silent words on their lips said, “What? Are you kidding?” More than a few adults react the same way.

“Even all the bad things…” When the Law does its work, it is a powerful moment because it sets up the Gospel so perfectly. “But he still loves you.” How do I know? It says right here “God so loved the world…” And there’s that powerful and humbling moment when you get to talk about Jesus.

Your experience may be different, but those moments don’t come around very often for me. The story is more often punctuated by “Hey, zip up” and “Is anybody sitting up?” “No, you can’t have more candy,” and “No, it’s not time to go home yet.” When those moments do happen, I know it’s the Holy Spirit at work. No doubt in my mind. I’ve proven that I can’t make it happen, so I’ll gladly give Him all the credit. And I’ll always be thankful that I can be there to see those moments happen.

Next week I’ll be teaching the Christmas story. I’ll let you know what happens.

Posted in Christmas, helping, mercy, Ministry

A couple from out of town needs a place to stay…

Posted on by William Douthwaite
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Photo by Sweet Ice Cream Photography on Unsplash

“There’s someone on the phone — they need a place to stay tonight.”

“OK, I’ll talk to them.” When I pick up the phone, I never know how the conversation will go. Even though I’ve heard the request before, it’s never the same experience.

“Hey, how can I help you?” The story was familiar but unique. Evicted, no transportation, friend picking them up tomorrow to drive them back up north, need a place to spend the night. He and his wife were at the hospital last night until they were asked to leave the ER waiting room. Now they were waiting at a gas station, calling around to find someone who would pay for a motel room.

In the “olden” days, you would work your way through the yellow pages listing of churches in the area. Today, I guess you google “churches” and find out who’s in the area. Then you start calling until you reach someone who will help you out.

I had about an hour before a scheduled visit and had just finished up a sermon for tomorrow, so I agreed to come and get them and take them to a motel. It wasn’t out of my way and it’s not a lot of money and mercy is a good thing, so I headed out the door and down the road.

On the way, I though to myself, “Shouldn’t you be more careful?” I mean, you have no idea who is on the other end of that conversation. You have no idea what they are really up to. You are just going to go there and pick up a guy and his wife and take them to a hotel?

Then I thought, “Oh, stop it. What are they going to do, rob me? I was going to give them the 11 bucks in my pocket anyway. I’m meeting them at a public place. If they look creepy, I’ll figure something out. Why don’t you try trusting God? He made sure you had extra time today. He’s got your back, you know.”

I pulled in, walked up and met one of the nicest couples I’ve encountered in a long time. They had come to Florida from Pennsylvania, couldn’t really make it here, and were headed back where they had family support. They had been married just over a year, were feeling very alone, and very, very grateful. After a short ride, the very kind hotel manager got them situated, I had a chance to pray with them, and we parted ways.

What would I do if I were in that situation? Who would I call if I had no where else to turn? I have no idea. They had more courage and faith than I did today, humbly reaching out to a stranger, any stranger, for help. I think God is starting to get somewhere with me. My gut more often tells me “have mercy” than “be careful.”

And I didn’t even see it till just now: this is Christmas. A couple from out of town looking for a place to say. No baby, but maybe someday. You know what? This is even better than being in a Christmas play or live nativity!

 

Posted in church, Ministry, preaching

“What are you talking about?”

Posted on by William Douthwaite

marcos-luiz-photograph-292698In the introduction to my sermon yesterday, I referred the HGTV show “Fixer Upper.” I knew that many in attendance were fans or had at least seen or heard of the show. Of course, you never hit the bull’s eye every time. There were some there who leaned over the person next to them asking, “What’s he talking about?”

It is so energizing to make a pop culture reference and watch as faces light up with familiarity. It is equally nauseating to see puzzled looks on faces who have no idea what you are referring to. It is humbling to either take the time to explain it, or discard what was a wonderfully powerful way to illustrate your point.

When you are speaking to an audience that ranges in age from two months to ninety-two years, with different experiences, tastes and interests, it is very hard to find that idea or image that everyone is familiar with. There are some who have never seen a Star Wars movie, don’t know anything about Jerry Seinfeld’s defective girlfriends, don’t read the newspaper, own flip phones, don’t Instagram, got a D in world history, only order wine by it’s color, and can’t name any of the Paw Patrol. I’m not saying that’s bad, I’m just saying you better remember that dynamic when you’re speaking.

So what’s a preacher to do? First of all, it helps to know your audience. When I preach, it is almost always to a congregation I know well. I know many of their interests, tastes, occupations, hobbies and families. I’ve been to their homes, talked over coffee, taught them in classes, and have a pretty good idea of what they are familiar with.

Second, you can’t just depend on one illustration or example. You need to throw out a bunch to catch the attention of pre-adolescents, young parents, millennial, baby-boomers and those of the greatest generation. It helps to hang out with and get to know people from all walks of life.

Finally, a lot of it is just trial and error. Thankfully, a swing and a miss one week can be redeemed the next, because Sunday and the next sermon comes around at least once every seven days. I got on base yesterday. We’ll see what happens next week.

Posted in Christmas, family

No gifts for you!

Posted on by William Douthwaite

david-everett-strickler-60328.jpgMy wife and I stopped buying Christmas gifts for each other a long time ago.

Why? Read on.

It wasn’t always that way. Early on in our marriage we did buy gifts for each other. What kind of gifts? Beats me. I don’t remember any of them. Actually, that’s not true. I remember one, but only because we video-recorded opening gifts one year in Connecticut. She got me a beard trimmer. I got her some kind of personal grooming thing. That may have been the moment when we both realized, “This is stupid.” We were spending money, often in short supply, on gifts for each other for no other reason than the culture demanded that we buy gifts for each other. It was a lot more fun buying toys for the kids. It was a lot more fun going somewhere and doing something. That may have been the year we decided to not worry about buying Christmas gifts for each other. And we’ve never looked back.

One of the reasons this makes a lot of sense is that I just don’t have much that I want. My Amazon.com wish list is pathetic. If you ask me, what do you want for Christmas, I won’t have much to offer. Frustrating? You bet. I have forgotten about, thrown away, and given away most of the gifts we’ve received over the years. Bottom line: why bother?

If you have read this far, you have probably categorized us as scrooges, which is pretty judgmental and harsh. Come one, give us a break. We have replaced the ceremonial, obligatorial (how do you like that word?) gift-giving mechanism with something that means much more to us. I always create a Christmas card with a poem for Lisa. Then, we invest our Christmas gift dollars into either going to be with our kids, or bringing them here to spend Christmas with us. Believe me, that is a precious, valuable, and memorable gift! Nothing else (not even a nice bottle of scotch or bourbon) will touch that in the gift category!

Our Christmas memory book is filled with photos of our times together, not the merchandise exchanged. Our mental memory books are filled with images of family, places, laughter, births, marriages, baptisms, confirmations, weddings, funerals, and parties together. It’s not the stuff, folks, but the relationships and experiences that I want.

This is our year to have everyone at our home for Christmas. In a perfect world, we get every other year. I told my wife today that I have saved up seven months of patience to spend with our grandchildren (ages 3, 2 and 1), so bring it! I will push the swing, play with dinosaurs, line up the miniature cars, eat pretend food, color pictures, make worms with the Playdoh, roll in the grass, pull the bike trailer, push the swing, and read stories until I drop from exhaustion! There is nothing you can give me that can compare to hugging my tall, handsome son and my beautiful, diminutive daughters! (Take a breath girls, and focus on “beautiful”…)

This year, our family exchanged names, so that we only buy one gift for one other person. Grandchildren are exempt. We can buy as many toys for them as we want. But for the exchange, our gifts must be homemade or experiential. It wasn’t mine, but it is a very cool idea. I have received homemade journals in the past, definitely a winner, because I go through three or four a year. I wouldn’t complain if my gift were a few shots or beers at a local establishment. I promise to write about my gift, both given and received, right after our Christmas/New Year celebration.

Do you want to get off the hamster wheel of Christmas gift giving and receiving? Stop giving stuff. Give to a charity. Then, take your significant other out and do something fun. Trust me, it will be worth it!

 

 

Posted in Christmas

Walk through Bethlehem

Posted on by William Douthwaite

web-header---201711Last night, my wife and I, along with my daughter and her family, walked through “Walk Through Bethlehem,” an annual Christmas season production by Crossroads Ministry in Daytona Beach, FL. This is the second time I have gone, but the event is in its twenty-first season. Over two weekends, around 10,000 people walk through a recreation of Bethlehem at the time of Christ’s birth, built entirely on twenty-one acres of the church’s campus. The first time I went was two years ago. This time we brought along my two-and-a-half year old grandson, with the promise of seeing a camel. (For some reason, we thought there would be a camel there, but more on that later.)

We went early this year and were some of the first to arrive on the opening night of this years event. Greeted warmly by at least half-a-dozen people, we found out seats in the auditorium staging area, where we waited for our group to be called. Groups of about twenty go on the walk at a time, and while you wait, you get to listen to some great Christmas music by live soloists and ensembles. Since we came early, our wait was short, and before my grandson had consumed two snacks, we headed out with out group to Bethlehem.

We met our “tour guide” in a small hallway, who explained that she would get us in the gate and around the city, so stay close to her. A short walk brought us to the gates of the city, where Roman soldiers made sure we paid an appropriate tax to enter the city (a whole shekel per person!). Inside we followed our guide from place to place in Bethlehem. We went through a noisy market, stopped to visit people who made candles, baked bread, ran inns, sold fruit, made cloth and owned a home in Bethlehem. After we met some young men talking to a couple of priests, we met a carpenter who was being forced to make crosses and a blacksmith who had to make large nails. We finally met up with some shepherds who invited us to stay with them outside of the city, where we heard from an angel that the Christ had been born. When we got to the stable, we got to see a real live baby Jesus, surrounded by his mother and father and a cow and a donkey. After we heard the rest of the story, from the crucifixion to the resurrection of Jesus, we left Bethlehem, but not before grabbing a cooke and some hot chocolate.

We all enjoyed our visit to Bethlehem. I am impressed by and thankful for the hundreds of volunteers who make this happen each year. From those who play the parts to those who build and break down the sets to those who made sure we heard the gospel, this is a huge event. I appreciated how each stop on the journey added a piece to the puzzle of God’s Law, our sin, and the Christmas gift of salvation in the birth of the Savior, who is Christ the Lord. I got to be a part of the Christmas story along with shepherds, priests, Pharisees, merchants, soldiers, children and tax collectors.

The journey seemed shorter than my previous experience. My grandson like the sheep, cow and donkey best of all, but did appreciate the real live baby Jesus, too. He elected not to have his picture taken with a Roman soldier. (Oh, and there was no camel; that must have been a different live nativity at another church.)

Afterwards, we estimated that it would take at least three hundred volunteers to make this happen. They must begin planning the summer before. And I’ll bet every single one loves being a part of this. If you are in the Daytona Beach area, I encourage you to stop by and “walk through” Bethlehem.