Posted in Food, shopping

I can’t believe someone returned those

Posted on by William Douthwaite
What’s wrong with this picture?

If you’re going to Walmart, would you take these back for me?”

I know, no one ever wants to hear those words. However, bundling your errands into one trip to Walmart is better than multiple trips. And the return had already been initiated online, so it should be a quick scan and go.

Scan and go, yes. Quick, no. Five people stood in line ahead of me at the Service counter. I used the time to see what I could notice. I hadn’t yet decided what to write about today. But Walmart never fails to give me an idea. Today was no different.

The Walmart service counter is surrounded by piles of returned items. Boxes of diapers, an aquarium pump, a charcoal grill, colorful plastic eggs, a potted plant, and a package of underwear filled metal shelves on both sides of me. And one thing that really caught my eye: a package of double stuf Oreos.

I know. I did a double take, pulled out my phone, and got the photo. I couldn’t believe it, either. Oreos? Really? Who’s going to return Oreos? That’s just not right.

Okay, I know it’s one item from what looks like a whole cart of healthy food choices including soda, chips, Skittles, and ranch dressing. Maybe someone forgot their debit card and left this all behind. Maybe they got a call and had to leave the store before they could pay for their groceries, and left them in an aisle. Maybe someone made a snarky comment about their New Years resolution to eat healthier. “Fine. I’ll return them!”

Or, maybe someone at home wasn’t happy. “Why did you get double stuffed Oreos? You know I only like the regular ones! You’re so selfish. You only think about yourself. I’m not paying for them. Take them back!” Apparently someone did.

Do you think this bag made it back to the shelf? Or does the night crew share them when it’s break time?

Posted in Through the Bible Devotions

Some animals and a garden

Posted on by William Douthwaite

A “through the bible” devotion from Genesis 2.

I started reading the bible again.

What I mean is I just finished up the book of Revelation and started in Genesis again yesterday morning. I get through the whole bible about once a year so it all sounds familiar. But something new always touches my heart.

This morning, I read about God putting the first man in Eden to cultivate and tend it, and name the animals (Genesis 2:2:15, 20). I thought to myself, “We all start out that way.”

Within the first year of having children, we’re teaching them to identify animals and animal sounds. “What does the cow say?” “Moo!” Parents and grandparents sing endless choruses of “Old MacDonald Had a Farm.” Small plastic and large stuffed animals fill toy rooms.

Early on we teach them to smell flowers. Toddlers quickly learn to pick a weed and bring it to mom. Fruit quickly becomes part of their meals, first pureed, then chopped up. Playrooms fill up with plastic pretend food.

It never gets old. I still love to go to the zoo, an aquarium, or arboretum. I am fascinated and delighted by the endless array of animals, birds, fish, and plants. We were created to connect with nature, which connects us with the Creator. That connection is a powerful part of who I am.

Posted in coffee

A luxury or a necessity?

Posted on by William Douthwaite

A recent WordPress daily prompt asked, “What is one luxury you can’t live without?”

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

When there’s a hurricane and the power is out for a few days, you learn what you can live without. Without electricity, there’s only candles after sunset, no wifi or cellular service, no streaming, no ice for drinks, no air conditioning or fans, no hot water for a shower. Everything is closed, so there’s nowhere to go.

I can get along with non-perishable food for a few days. I don’t mind drinking bottled water on mission trips. But the first question my wife and I ask when a storm knocks out the power is, “How are we going to make coffee in the morning?” If there’s no power to work the coffeemaker, I can boil water over a propane burner for some pour-over or instant coffee. I guess coffee is the luxury I wouldn’t want to live without.

A close second would be ice. Drinks pulled out of an ice-filled cooler or poured over ice into a glass are just so good. It doesn’t have to be a fancy beverage. Tap water over ice is delicious after yard work on a hot day.

It’s easy to forget how many luxuries we enjoy. I’m grateful for havingso much more than life’s necessities of food, water, shelter, and clothing.

Posted in minimalism

The oldest thing: my bedroom dresser

Posted on by William Douthwaite

Yesterday’s WordPress prompt asked the question, “What’s the oldest thing you own that you still use daily?”

That question required some thought. I’ve actually got two answers. The first is my antique dresser in our bedroom. We bought these at an antique shop in Connecticut shortly after we moved there in 1991. It was my first call, and we brought a bed, a crib, and a table with chairs when we moved into the 2,700 sq. ft. church parsonage.

We purchased two antique dressers and still use them today. They have to be at least seventy-five years old. Made of real wood, they have dovetail joints.

A second answer to the question could be the Revere Ware mixing bowls in the kitchen. My mom gave me a set of Revere Ware in 1979 when I graduated from college and headed off to my first job and apartment. I still have one small saucepan and three stainless mixing bowls from that set. They’ve served me well for over forty-five years.

A runner-up answer would be my trumpet. It’s a silver-plated Bach Stradivarius 43 I purchased brand new in 1979 from Red Bank Music in New Jersey for $600. I had to go trumpet shopping when my old one, a lacquered model, was stolen from my car in West Long Branch. I still play it, although not every day.

We decluttered our house when we remodeled it six years ago, so we don’t have a lot of old things around. If we weren’t wearing it or using it, we sold it or gave it away. It’s just about time to do that again. Funny how stuff accumulates on shelves and in drawers.

Posted in Dad

Hamburger Helper

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Daily writing prompt
Which food, when you eat it, instantly transports you to childhood?
View all responses

I can’t remember the last I ate it, but Hamburger Helper transports me to my childhood.

General Mills introduced Hamburger Helper in 1971, and our family was immediately on board. I was in middle school that year, and my younger sister and brother were both in elementary school. We were all old enough for my mom, a nurse, to go back to work on weekends. That meant Dad was in charge of making supper.

It’s not that Dad was a bad cook. He just had a limited repertoire.

  • Beef Noodle Hamburger Helper
  • Potato Stroganoff Hamburger Helper
  • Cheeseburger Macaroni Hamburger Helper
  • Hash Hamburger Helper
  • Chili Tomato Hamburger Helper
  • Rice Oriental Hamburger Helper

From time to time, there was no Hamburger Helper in the pantry. No problem. Dad browned hamburger, mixed it with brown gravy made from a packet of gravy mix, and serve it over reconstituted freeze-dried mashed potatoes.

Plus, it was cheap. The original price of a box of Hamburger Helper was 65 cents. A pound of hamburger was about the same. Feed the family for $1.30? Nice.

We did try Tuna Helper. It was the same concept, substituting a can of tuna for the pound of hamburger. We only tried it once.

Not only is Hamburger Helper the food that instantly transports me to my childhood, but it is the top memory I have of my Dad.

“Hamburger Helper helps her hamburger help her make a great meal!”

Posted in color

That’s a lot of crayons!

Posted on by William Douthwaite

As I wandered through Staples the other day, a box of crayons caught my eye. It was a box of ninety-six Crayola crayons! Ninety-six? Are you kidding? I thought the ultimate was a box of 64. The small print reads, “96 Different Colors.” Nice.

But wait. There’s more. I turned the corner and saw another display with a box of one hundred and twenty crayons! “120 Different Colors”! Wow. That’s almost double what I thought was the ultimate box of crayons.

But wait. There’s more. I saw

  • A box of 24 Metallic Crayons
  • A box of 24 Pearl Crayons
  • A box of 24 Glitter Crayons
  • A box of 24 “Colors of Kindness”
  • A box of 24 “Colors of the World”
  • A box of 24 “Ultra-clean Washable Crayons”
  • A box of 8 Neon Crayons
  • A box of 24 Bold and Bright Construction Paper Crayons

I almost had to sit down. I don’t even know what some of these are. But I want to find out. I want to buy a box of each. I think I need about $50 for the whole set. I just want to see what all these different colors are called and what they look like on paper.

So I Googled “Crayola Crayons.” There are more!

  • Confetti Crayons
  • Pastel Crayons
  • An Ultimate 152 Crayon Collection
  • BJ’s Wholesale Club sells a bucket of 200 crayons!
  • Cosmic Crayons
  • Swirl Crayons
  • Mythical Creatures Crayons
  • Uni-Crayons

I may have a new hobby here: collecting Crayola crayons.

Posted in shopping

From the other side of the planet to me

Posted on by William Douthwaite

It didn’t take much to shape my Instagram algorithm. I think I clicked on one t-shirt promotion, and all of a sudden, such ads filled my feed. I was in the market for a few shirts, so I did the discount code dance. Every ad I went to offered me 15% off my first purchase. So I did a whole lot of first purchases and tried out a whole lot of t-shirts.

Most of my orders came in three to four days. I liked all my purchases. But then I thought, “Didn’t I order another one?” I went back through my emails and checked my order confirmations. Yep, one more yet to come.

It’s been two weeks. Where is that last shirt? I found the tracking order for my t-shirt, and discovered that the shipment originated in China. I know, most of my clothes are made in China, Vietnam or Indonesia. No surprise there.

I was fascinated to read about my t-shirt’s travels, which started in Shatian, China. From there, it went to O’Hare airport in Chicago, then to Homer Glen, Illinois. The bagged t-shirt went to Atlanta, Orlando, and then finally to my town, Palm Coast. It took two weeks for the shirt to get from them to me.

I find this very interesting. I paid less than $25 for the shirt. Did it cost less than that to ship it to me? Did they lose money on the deal? Will they make money if I order more shirts from them?

I do not understand the economics of this at all. Someone is making a shirt for me at a bargain price in a sweatshop somewhere on the other side of the earth, so they can feed their family and I can save a few bucks. Some middle-men are making money making the sale and shipping it to me. I feel bad for taking advantage of them. I guess I could feel better for giving them a job. But I feel nothing when I pull on a shirt made on the other side of the planet.

We live in a strange world, don’t we?

Posted in Life

Uh-oh. Now you’re in big trouble

Posted on by William Douthwaite

As I sat beneath this welcoming sign outside of Starbucks, I wondered, “How do they enforce these rules?”

If someone from a youth group stopped by and asked for a gift card donation for their summer mission trip fund raiser, would the barista reach under the counter and push the silent alarm button? Do you think the police have a ten code for that?

What do you think counts as “loitering”? A lot of people hang out at Starbucks for a long time, making phone calls, studying for a test, and interviewing for jobs. They use a coffee shop as their office. I suppose you need to buy something if you’re going to spend time there.

The recent remodeling of our neighborhood Starbucks eliminated a lot of seating, making it harder to camp out there.

All of these people were here for a long time. So was I as I watched them. Check out the guy on his second sugary venti drink.

What about trespassing? I guess that would be sitting at the tables after hours. I guess you wouldn’t want someone spending the night under a table out front or out back by the dumpsters.

Signs like this are only hung up when there’s been a problem with people soliciting, loitering, or trespassing. It’s too bad, since the proliferation of signs announcing what you can’t do detracts from really nice parks and buildings. In most places, it seems like you can’t do anything!

Posted in annoying people, Life

“Come on, hit me!”

Posted on by William Douthwaite
This isn’t actually her. But you get the idea.

I got to see a Karen in the wild today. She came out of Starbucks with both fingers blazing and a mouth ready to take a bite out of an SUV that was in her way.

Starbucks was crowded inside, so I had to sit outside at a table. The cloud cover made my shady table spot a pretty nice place to enjoy some ice coffee and do some writing. This particular Starbucks is on a busy corner of a shopping center where you’ll hear lots of horn honking on any given day.

A teenage granddaughter carrying a whipped cream topped cold drink came out trying to put some distance between her and grandma. I didn’t think much of it until I saw the older woman standing in front of an oncoming vehicle, yelling, “What are you going to do? Hit me? Go ahead! Hit me! Come on, hit me!” She raised both of her hands and fingers high, demanding the right of way. The SUV rolled to a stop and the surprised driver just sat there watching the show. Grandma finally stomped across the street to her parked car, and traffic started moving again.

I saw the SUV signal to turn in, so I kept watching to see if the situation would escalate. Would the driver get out and confront her? Box her in so she couldn’t get out of the parking lot? Lean on the horn? I secretly hoped so, but nothing happened. Maybe next time.

Next time came really quickly. A vey nice orange Mustang was slowly rolling into the Starbucks parking lot. The driver made sure we could hear the well-tuned exhaust. He was rolling too slowly for the guy behind him, who leaned on his horn. I chuckled as the Mustang slowed down even more, revved his engine a few more times, and stuck his finger up through the open sun roof.

It’s so entertaining to watch all of this. And it’s all over an overpriced cup of coffee. I hope they all ordered decaf. Everyone needed take it down a notch.