Posted in flash fiction

Just a box of ashes? Or something (someone) more?

Photo by Polina Tankilevitch on pexels.com

The attic stairs moaned like an old man getting out of bed in the morning as I pulled them down from the garage ceiling. As I ascended the stairs, I thought to myself, “I hope the light still works.” I found the cord and pulled. Suddenly, I could see to the far reaches beneath the roof. It was empty except for one box.

When we moved into the house, we made a pact. We will not fill the attic with stuff. We worked too hard to declutter our lives with this move. If there is no place for it in the house, we’ll sell it or donate it. But it will not find a place in our attic.

Unless we’re talking about Christmas. Five totes of decorations, one filled with nativities, Santas, snowmen, and themed-plates, plus a three-part Christmas tree had to go somewhere. April is a long way from the holidays, so all those things get a place in the attic.

As I surveyed the space, I was glad to see some plywood nailed across the the rafters. From experience, I knew it was way too easy to step through the ceiling.

I scrambled back down the stairs for the first tote. I pushed it up ahead of me and found a good place to start storing up Christmas. I grabbed the box left behind by the previous owners and headed back down for more.

The box was about eight inches per side, a cube that felt to be a little more than five pounds. What did they forget to take with them? What did they leave behind?

I was too curious to wait. I grabbed by knife and sliced through the packing tape. Pulling the box flap aside, I looked inside and saw a plastic bag secured by a twist tie. I untwisted the tie and looked inside, finding what looked like ashes.

Ashes. Uh-oh. I’ve held a box like this before. Someone once handed me a box like this in their backyard at a family memorial and said, “Do what you usually do.” At the time, I was a rookie pastor who had never held a box of remains. As we stood in the backyard, bordering a salt marsh, I said a quick prayer, opened up the box, and threw the contents up into the air, letting the wind carry them away. (Note: always make sure the wind is blowing away from you and the family’s home.)

Ashes. This was a box filled with someone’s remains. Grandma? Uncle Sid? The wife everyone thought ran away with the other guy? The family dog? Great-grandpa?

It was weird, but I had to make the phone call. “Hey, I found a box in the attic. When can I drop it off?”

It wasn’t theirs. They didn’t leave anything behind. They never went up into the attic. It must have been from a previous owner. “I’m sorry, I don’t know how to get in touch with them.”

Great. Here is a person, a life, a relative, reduced to a box of ashes. Doesn’t anyone miss this, I mean, them? Is this what we’ll all be someday, a box of ashes forgotten in an attic?

Maybe there’s something written on the box. A clue. A crematory? Funeral home?

Nada. Nothing. Not a clue as to who this was. I searched the internet. No obituaries, stories, or missing persons connected with this address.

It’s sobering to realize that this is how you’ll end up. A simple six or maybe seven pounds of ashes in a box in an attic. It’s a little depressing, too.

As I sat and pondered my discovery, something caught my eye. It was subtle, not gray. Something shiny? This is too weird. I ran my finger through the ashes and hit something hard. Bone? No. It’s…a ring. A gold ring. It’s large, like one that would fit a man’s finger.

Well, it’s not Grandma. Or Aunt Kate. Or the missing wife.

It was Uncle John. Great-grandpa Will. Someone with large fingers and strong hands.

Well, we’re not going to live here forever. I folded the flaps together and pushed the box to a far corner of the attic. When we move to another house, we’ll just leave it – or them – right here.

This is their home.

Posted in church

Where do the ashes come from?

Photo by Ahna Ziegler on Unsplash

The tradition of receiving ashes on Ash Wednesday in the shape of a cross on the forehead is a tradition that dates to the 11th century church. They are a visible reminder that the wages of our sin is death, but by Jesus’ death on the cross, we have life. This worship practice kicks off the season of Lent, during which the church focuses on the suffering of Jesus for us.

I don’t remember ever having ashes on Ash Wednesday at the church my family went to when I was growing up. We were always members of a Lutheran Church – Missouri Synod congregation, and in the 1960s, the practice of receiving ashes on your forehead was a Roman Catholic tradition, and therefore one to stay away from.

I am not certain, but I believe the first time I experienced ashes on Ash Wednesday was in 1997 at our church in Florida. That was a time of restoring some ancient traditions in worship. The first time I did it, no one had saved any palms from the previous Palm Sunday. But surrounded by palm trees and palmettos, it was easy to gather up fronds to burn into ashes.

The first time around, I used a pan from the kitchen and set a bunch on fire. I had to throw out the ruined pan I used and the kitchen smelled horrible for a few days, but I had some ashes to use. I began saving the extra palm crosses from Palm Sunday that year. The trick is to remember where you have them stored away to use a year later.

That first year, someone asked me, “Whose ashes are those?” I would always explain where the ashes actually came from as well as their significance.

A colleague suggested baking the palm leaves to dry them out before burning them. Great idea, except the kitchen still smelled bad for a few days. This time, I took them outside to burn on some aluminum foil. This worked much better.

One year, I ordered some online. The ashes were very fine, much finer than I had ever been able to grind them up. This worked well, but I still felt like homemade were better.

The next year, I found the palm crosses, dried them thoroughly, burned them nicely, ground them up into a very fine ash. Best batch ever. Biggest batch ever. A little bit goes a long way. So I saved the ashes in a little jar I kept on my bookshelf. They lasted for years.

So when someone asked, “Where do the Ash Wednesday ashes come from?” I only had to point to the jar and say, “Right there.” But then I would explain the tradition and the process.

After retiring last summer, I didn’t think much about Ash Wednesday ashes until last week, when the church office manager called and asked, “Where did you get ashes? And do you know where the leftover palms are?”

Well, I explained, “if you can find the palm crosses from last year, you’ll need to bake them, burn them, and grind them up. Or you can just order some on Amazon.”

“I think we’ll order some this year.”