Tag: doubt

Posted in Through the Bible Devotions

I don’t believe it!

Posted on by William Douthwaite

Some “through the Bible” thoughts from Matthew 28.

In the aftermath of Jesus’s resurrection, the disciples gather in Galilee, where they see the Lord one more time before his ascension into heaven.

“But some doubted” (Matthew 28:17).

What did they doubt? There’s no denying the resurrection. Jesus is standing right there. It wasn’t the first time they had seen the risen Christ.

Most commentators say that it was more like a, “I don’t believe it” kind of moment when they saw him.

At last weekend’s fall festival, I looked up from our vendor booth and saw a couple I hadn’t seen in twenty years! Together we mouthed, “I don’t believe it!” We didn’t doubt the reality of the moment. This blast from the past wasn’t on our radar.

But this was forty days after that Sunday when they first saw the risen Lord. They hadn’t processed it yet? They were still in shock? Some still thought it was too good to be true?

Maybe their doubts were about the future. Now what? There were lies about the disciples stealing Jesus’s corpse. They may have been safer in Galilee than Jerusalem, but for how long? Nothing was certain. After three amazing years, maybe they should just go back to doing what they did before.

“Could have,” “Should have,” and “Knew I shouldn’t have,” show up in the best and worst moments of life , and everywhere in between. Did you pay too much? Should you have said something? Or kept your mouth shut? Should you have showed up? Or just stayed home? Did you do your best?

Any of us can second-guess ourselves to death. So Jesus’s next words are important: “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me” (28:18). Rather than doubting, over-thinking, or second-guessing, listen to him. He’s got the last word.

Posted in dying, Life, Ministry

You need to hear it again.

Posted on by William Douthwaite

silvestri-matteo-176500The call came pretty late last night, about 10:45. I was driving, and felt my phone buzz in my pocked, but didn’t listen to the message until after I got home. “She said she thinks he’s dying.” I only live about a mile away and I didn’t want them to be alone, so I headed over to the apartment.

When I arrived, it was and it wasn’t what I expected. I’ve been with many people in hospice care for the last days and hours of their lives. I’m familiar with the shallow, irregular, rattling breathing. I just didn’t think it would happen this soon. Just hours earlier, he had been awake, conversant, signing his own documents and deciding to come home from the hospital. Hospice hadn’t even been to the house yet, and it looked like he’d be gone before they even arrived. He wasn’t conscious, but he also didn’t seem uncomfortable, which was a blessing.

A few more people arrived. All we could do was wait. Wait for a call back from hospice. Wait and wonder whether it was a wise choice to come home. Wait and pray, commending him to the Lord’s care.

With her encouragement, we left about 12:30 pm. She knew who to call if anything got out of hand. When I called back this morning, I learned he had died about an hour after we all left. Her words to me on the phone were, “I know he’s with the Lord. I just hope God accepts him.”

Without hesitation, I replied, “I have no doubt! He had faith in Christ. We just talked about that the other day when I brought him communion, He was forgiven. You don’t have to worry about that at all.”

“Thank you so much. That’s just what I needed to hear.”

If you know me at all, you know I talk about that all the time. Maybe when you’re sitting there on a Sunday and life is pretty good and you don’t have too many worries, it doesn’t register. But when the breathing stops, you feel all alone, and reality kicks in, it suddenly becomes an issue. So, you need to hear it again. If I can, I’ll be there to make sure you do.

Lately it seems like I’ve been spending a lot of time with people who get hit with stuff over and over again. What do you do for someone when the cancer keeps coming back? Or the headaches? Or the strokes? Or the flooding? I’m humbled knowing I don’t have a whole lot of answers. But I get to bring Christ, and he gives more than we ask or imagine.