Tag: family

Posted in Through the Bible Devotions

Olive shoots and children

Posted on by William Douthwaite

A “through the bible” devotion from Psalm 128.

Your children will be like olive shoots
    around your table (Psalm 128:3).

When we went to Israel in 2019, our tour guide’s husband owned an olive grove. Since olives are mentioned often in scripture, we took a side trip one day to see a real olive farm.

Our guide made sure we saw shoots growing up from the base of an olive tree. They would soon be trimmed away. But she said, “Look, it’s just like the psalm: olive shoots around the table.”

I loved that moment when ancient words suddenly came to life before my eyes. All of my children have children, olive shoots around their table. And now I understand what a blessing that is. Who knew grand parenting would be such a blessing?

Posted in Advent devotions, Through the Bible Devotions

We’re going to need more chairs

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Juliette F on Unsplash

Pretty soon you don’t enough space for everyone at the table. You don’t have enough chairs. You blinked, and the family got a lot bigger. It began with the two of us. We had three children. Now we have ten grandchildren. We don’t have everyone together very often, but when we do, it’s a houseful. That huge dining room table must have shrunk. There’s always more than one conversation going on at a time, filling the room with voices.

Now the Lord said to Abram, “I will make of you a great nation…and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed” (Genesis 12:2-3).

It’s a powerful promise for a childless couple who have just moved into a new home. But you have to start somewhere, right? Plus, nothing is too hard for the Lord.

A little later, when Abram is wondering how God is going to do this, “[The Lord] brought him outside and said, “Look toward heaven, and number the stars, if you are able to number them.” Then he said to him, “So shall your offspring be” (Genesis 15:5).

Not only would Abram father a son named Isaac, but one of his descendants would be Jesus, who came to save his people from their sins. Jesus would be a blessing to all, for “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved” (Acts 2:21).

More importantly, Jesus is a blessing to me. I am one of those innumerable stars Abram saw in the sky. So are you.

So we hang a tent on the Jesse Tree to remind us of Abram (aka Abraham), to whom God made a wonderful Advent promise.

Posted in Devotions, Through the Bible Devotions

Joseph does well, considering

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Patricia Prudente on Unsplash

A “through the bible” devotion from Genesis 39.

It’s good to know that growing up in a dysfunctional family doesn’t limit your chances of success.

So far Reuben has slept with one of his father’s concubines. Simeon and Levi are violent and abusive. Judah sleeps with his daughter-in-law, who has dressed up like a prostitute. One by one Jacob’s sons are discredited.

However, Joseph is doing well. In fact, the Lord made all that he did prosper as a slave and a prisoner (Genesis 39:3,23). He didn’t get the job he wanted. He’s not living near family. But he got to travel and meet a lot of interesting people.

It’s good to know that neither your family nor your circumstances determine your future. Those are colors in the palette God uses to shape your life, use you, and introduce you to others along the way.

I’d say all families are dysfunctional in some ways. In some situations, it’s obvious. Sometimes it’s subtle. Just because you’re related doesn’t mean y’all get along. It just means you’re a family!

Posted in Devotions, family, Through the Bible Devotions

Reach out sooner than later

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Dave Phillips on Unsplash

A “through the bible devotion” from Genesis 32.

A few months ago, I had to call our HVAC company because the air conditioning wasn’t keeping up with the hot and humid late spring weather. I did what I could. I changed out the filter. I made sure the drain line was clear. I changed the batteries in the thermostat. But I learned a long time ago that you call sooner than later, because you need someone to come out who knows what they’re doing.

By the time Jacob decides it’s time to go home, he’s got a large family and lots of sheep. He’s had eleven sons and a daughter with his two wives and their servants. He’s skillfully bred the sheep so that he ends up with most of Laban’s herd.

The next hurdle is his older brother. What if Esau is still mad after twenty years? Jacob arranges to send generous gifts ahead to smooth over the reunion.

And then Jacob prays, “Save me from the hand of my brother” (Genesis 32:11). This is the first time we read of Jacob praying. He knew God was around. He was aware of God’s covenant promises. But now he needs God’s help. Up until this point, Jacob has been able to work the system and do well. But now he’s afraid. Now his back is against the wall. “Please save me, God.”

I learned a long time ago to ask God for help sooner than later, too. Again, you need someone who knows what they’re doing. We like to think we’ve got life all figured out. But let’s be honest. We don’t.

Thankfully, we know someone who does.

Posted in Easter

Easter on the road

Posted on by William Douthwaite

For the first time in forever (forty years) we didn’t spend Easter at home. Retirement gave us the freedom to travel to Dallas, Texas, to spend Holy Week and Easter Sunday with my son and his family.

Flights were expensive so we did the two day drive. After a longish first day and an easy second day, our four Texas grandchildren were waiting for us at the curb on Wednesday afternoon. It’s only been three months since we last saw them after Christmas, but they’ve grown so much!

Our Airbnb this time was a nice little townhome just five minutes away. We only need a comfortable place to sleep since we spend most of our time with family – and this week, at worship.

What a treat to worship at the church where my son has been pastor for over ten years. The sermons, special music, family, and people we’ve gotten to know there made Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter sunrise and Easter morning worship a joy. My son preached for the service of darkness on Friday and at sunrise on Sunday morning.

Flanked by singing, drawing, coloring, snacking, praying, and wiggling grandchildren, each worship occasion was especially meaningful. How I loved sharing the somberness of Good Friday and the joy of Easter morning with them!

In between worship, we made small resurrection gardens, visited the Fort Worth zoo, played lots of Lego, and ended the weekend with supper at our favorite Mexican place.

Easter on the road with family was especially good for our souls this year.

Posted in Life

A happy ending? Not yet.

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Juri Gianfrancesco on Unsplash

“Hey, Bill!”

I turned my head and saw a young man coming out of the coffee shop behind me. My face must have announced, “Who are you?” so he called out, “It’s J.”

I’m good with names and don’t forget faces, but he looked a lot different than the last time I saw him. His head was shaved and his beard was about three inches long. Was it his eyes? Or his smile? Suddenly I recognized him. It had been at least two years since I had talked with him and his wife.

“Wow,” I said, “How have you been?”

He kept smiling but I could tell from the look in his eyes that it was going to be tough to answer that question.

“Well,” he began, “J. (his wife) and I had a son. His name is Josiah. He is amazing.”

He paused and I had the feeling his story was about to take a turn for the worse.

“After Josiah was born, J. had postpartum depression. She was in the hospital for a month. Then she had a really bad day, and she took her life.”

J.’s words hung in the air. I had no words. All I could do was look into his eyes, listening, trying to imagine how much strength it took to speak about that loss.

I thought about the young couple who had wandered into our church one Sunday morning. I remembered their hospitality when they invited me to their apartment for supper. I thought about the baby who would never know his mother. I wondered how J. was dealing with a life no one envisions.

I asked, “So, how are you?”

It had been six months since her death. J.’s chiropractic practice was doing well. He was working out at the gym two times a day six times a week. He had a strong network of doctors and pastors who were walking with him through this chapter of his life. At least for that moment, he was doing well.

Then he said, “Oh, and I have to tell you. If you have a chance, try the egg, ham, and gouda breakfast sandwich here. It’s is amazing.”

I know, a bit off topic. But I was still in shock, so I went with it. “Does that fit in with your nutritional guidance?” J. was bit into holistic health, especially eating right.

He chuckled and said, “Well, my bodybuilding workouts require 4,500 calories a day. This might not be the best, but it helps me towards that goal.”

I want to reach out to J. and learn more about his journey as a mourning husband and single father. I’ve written a few hundred words here. But he could write a whole book, right?

A happy ending? Not yet. But you never know.

Posted in Christmas

A Christmas memory I don’t remember

Posted on by William Douthwaite

I was looking for something else on my computer when I came across this picture from a 1958 Christmas, gleaned from a collection of my dad’s slides. That’s the one-and-a-half me in the red jumpsuit. That’s my mom sitting in the chair, and I’m pretty sure that’s her dad on the left.

My gifts included a ball, a train building set, and a classic Lassie dog. But in this moment, I was all about the red balloon on which my mom must have drawn something.

I think this is my grandparents house in northeast Philadelphia. The live tabletop tree, carefully decorated with individual strands of tinsel, is encircled by an O-gauge Lionel electric train. A tiny nativity on the table is surrounded by a little host of angels.

Mom’s ever-present ashtray and cup of coffee are perched on the arm of her chair. I’ll bet I’m the reason why she looks weary on this Christmas morning. She was twenty-four in this picture.

My earliest memories come from when I was six years old. This is a Christmas flashback by virtue of the fact that my dad caught it on film. This Christmas memory is one I don’t remember. These pictures tell my story, a story that fascinates me.

My dad’s slides included three or four pictures from each Christmas. Not many compared to the dozens of digital photos we take every year. But enough to make me want to sift through them to learn more about my childhood, memories I don’t remember.

Posted in family

What a week!

Posted on by William Douthwaite

This past Christmas we had all six of our grandchildren together for the first time ever. My son flew to Florida with his wife and three children a few days after Christmas to spend a week with us. My two daughters only live about half an hour away, and often had their families here that week, too. The three older grands are five, four and three years old. The younger ones are five, thirteen and sixteen months. Yes, it was a noisy, messy, energetic, chaotic and fun-filled week!

I was able to finish up a play fort swing set in our back yard. God blessed us with a good weather week, and the older grandkids spent a lot of time climbing and swinging. The younger ones were constantly on the move, emptying toy shelves and constantly campaigning for the next snack or meal. I found myself rotating from child to child, pushing a swing, reading a book, rolling a ball, playdohing some playdoh, sticking some stickers, coloring pictures, building legos, changing a diaper, preparing a snack, filling a drink, digging in the sandbox, taking some pictures and enjoying every minute of it. It was an amazing week. For me it was also a fleeting moment, knowing they would never be this size again.

As the reader might suspect, I thoroughly enjoyed that week. I enjoyed spending time with my children, their spouses and their children. I had no idea what a great experience that would be! My wife and I have been blessed beyond measure.

Posted in Ministry

Way too soon

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Chad Madden on Unsplash

They say it’s good to step out of your comfort zone. That’s how you learn. That’s where you grow. 

OK, so this is really only a baby step. It’s something most people think is a given. But for me it’s a radical departure from anything I’ve ever experienced. 

I’m setting up and decorating the Christmas tree. Before. Thanksgiving. 

I’ve written about this before. It’s just a part of me. I grew up in a family who set up the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve. I was gradually drawn into a much different world where Christmas trees are set up and decorated right after Thanksgiving. i thought that was out there. 

My wife broke the news to me last week. My son and his family from TX would be here for Thanksgiving, but not Christmas. Our family would only have one day to all be together the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. So, we would be setting up our tree before that. Before Thanksgiving. 

It turns out that’s not progressive at all. The trend is to set up and decorate the Christmas tree on November 1. As soon as Halloween is over, but before all the candy is gone, it is Christmas. Black Friday prices can be had weeks before. Garden centers at big box stores are devoted to rows of pre-lit trees. Thanksgiving? Just a rest stop along the holiday highway to the holiday. 

But even that is not cutting edge. Nope. Those who truly have the holiday spirit have begun their celebration before Halloween. That’s right, their Christmas now takes up nearly one-quarter of the year. 

Holy cow. What is it about Christmas that compels us to increase its size each and every year? I’m pretty sure it’s not Jesus. He doesn’t seem to be the center of this. It doesn’t seem to be the Christmas spirit. These early celebrators aren’t any nicer or friendlier than they were last summer or spring. It’s not the gifts. People buy most of what they want all year long from Amazon. Let’s be honest – most gifts are things we don’t need or want.You know it’s true. 

So what is it? What is it that drives our obsession with Christmas that makes it happen earlier and earlier each year? 

Here’s one theory: we believe a holiday will fill the emptiness in our lives. Without some kind of celebration, our lives seem trivial, meaningless, and empty. But if we have a party, we’re alive. Important. Noticed. So we over-celebrate Cinco de Mayo, even thought we couldn’t care less what that might be about. We take extra days to celebrate Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Veterans Day, Valentines Day, Mothers Day, Super Bowl Sunday and New Years Day. Add to that the B-list holidays of Fathers Day, Presidents Day, Administrative Professionals Day, Nurse’s Day, Boss’ Day, Grandparents Day, and in my home state of Pennsylvania, Groundhog Day. Oh, and you better not leave out your family’s birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, promotions and award ceremonies. 

Call me a Grinch, a Scrooge, or simply tired. Don’t hate me. You can celebrate Christmas as long and hard as you wish. I just want to enjoy time with my family and celebrate Jesus’ birthday on his birthday.