Posted in Stories

Notes from the lawn guy

I’ve had the same lawn service for over ten years. They spray stuff on my yard once a month to keep it green and free of bugs and weeds. For the most part they do a pretty good job. The lawn guy always leaves me an amusing report about his visit. Here are a few of their comments:

“I noticed some broadleaf weeds in your yard today.” Good. That’s what I pay you guys for.

“Don’t overwater your lawn.” Dude, we just had a hurricane blow through and dump twenty inches of rain. You’re talking to the wrong guy.

“I noticed your lawn needs water.” Trust me, I know. It hasn’t rained for about six weeks. And I am not about to pay the city for the amount of water it would take to keep the lawn green.

“I knocked on your door today.” Yeah, thanks. You woke up Cujo (our brown dog) who woke up our sleeping grandchild and wanted to break through the window and have you for lunch and dinner.

“I moved the toys off the lawn before treating.” How nice! I appreciate that!

“I made sure to close the gate.” You rock!

Seriously, they do a pretty good job. I am rarely home when they come. For the most part my lawn is green and weed free. Thanks!

Posted in flash fiction

One last cut

In the orange hues of the sunset he thought, “It’s still light out. I can finish this job.”

The riding mower made pass after pass through the yard, suddenly stopping at the fence. With the engine running, he jumped out of the seat, and the trimmer roared to life. As he worked his way down the sidewalk, he didn’t notice the mower slowly drift toward him.

First a nudge. Then a grab. As he tried to shake his leg free, he thought, “What the heck?”

As the mower blade began to chew at his foot, the belt caught a shoelace, then a cuff and finally a leg.

“What the…” Caught off balance, he rolled sideways, trying to catch his fall. The whirring string cut into his arm, spattering blood across the sidewalk and the side of his face. “Son of a…” was interrupted as the tractor lurched forward, pulling his foot out from under him. His face smashed into the ground. Everything went black.

“You have one new message.” <beep>

“We’ll be back out to finish your lawn service this morning. We apologize for the delay.” <beep>