Tag: name

Posted in Life

The Secret Skill of Remembering Names

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by cottonbro
Daily writing prompt
What’s a secret skill or ability you have or wish you had?
View all responses

My secret weapon is the ability to remember names.

I didn’t even know I had this ability until people responded with surprise, “You remembered my name!” It might have been someone I talked with yesterday or someone I met a year ago. For some reason, names stick with me. I don’t have any mnemonic tricks. I don’t consciously work on it. Names lodge in accessible places in my brain.

I read somewhere that the most important word you can say to someone is their name. You notice them. You connect with them. You care about them. They are somebody.

Some lament, “I’m no good with names.” They can’t make the connection. Names don’t stick anywhere in their minds. It’s a real struggle for them.

Once in a while, someone’s name won’t click for me. That’s rare. I remember the names of all the dogs I meet at the dog park. All the people I meet at church on a Sunday morning. The techs and nurses and doctors who treat me in the emergency room. The players on my grandson’s baseball team.

Sometime in the future, I might forget. I might not be able to recall a name. It might be a friend. Or family. So for now I am thankful for my ability to astonish people – and sometimes myself – by remembering their names.

Posted in Life

No middle name

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash
Daily writing prompt
What is your middle name? Does it carry any special meaning/significance?
View all responses

I do not have a middle name.

Instead, I have a suffix. I am the third, named after my father and my grandfather. Since

The absence of a middle name causes plenty of consternation among those who like to fill in all the boxes. Some have filled in III as my middle name. I once used Q as a middle initial when I needed three letters for a login. NMI is another popular choice.

Since my dad died, I don’t use III after my name very often. It still shows up on tax forms and passports. But it’s not on my driver’s license. Some like to include it on certificates. They can’t spell or pronounce my last name, but they love the suffix.

I do not meet many who share my lack of a middle name. Many even give their pets middle names. I enjoy that uniqueness. I also love to ask those who like my suffix, “What was my father’s name?” And then, “What was my grandfather’s name?” Some get it. Others are confused. I just chuckle.

Posted in memories, noticing

You remembered!

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

I think I’m pretty good with names. I don’t work very hard at it. I just find them easy to remember. For some reason, people’s names stick in my mind. At least most of the time.

As I started down the pet food aisle at Walmart, I heard a voice behind me, “Pastor.” I turned and without even thinking said, “Hey, hi, Kathy!”

“You remembered my name!”

I had not seen her for about two years, but her name was right there on my lips. I didn’t even hesitate. So was her husband, Bob. We chatted for a few moments, then parted to find the things on our shopping lists.

In that moment, though, I couldn’t remember her last name. It was weird, because that doesn’t happen to me. I knew it started with a “B.” And I knew it was unique in some way. And I knew it was somewhere in my brain. But I just couldn’t pull it out of my memory.

I also knew that it would some to me sometime later that day. It’s happened before. I’ll be doing something completely different, and the name will suddenly come to mind. Sometimes it happens in an hour. Other times it takes a whole day. The information is in my head. I just can’t find it in the moment. So my subconscious works in the background, searching through files in my brain until it finds what I’m looking for. If I can’t remember something, I don’t worry. I know it will come to me. And it did. I think I was taking out the trash, and just like that Kathy’s last name popped into my mind.

This is fascinating. Somehow my brain knows what’s relevant and what’s not. If I’m probably not going to need a bit of information, it stuffs it away somewhere, like an old box full of papers up on a shelf. Or to be a little more twenty-first century, like digital files and pictures backed up to a flash drive.

I really like memory tricks. I use the peg list from Kevin Trudeau’s Mega Memory. I used the Memory Palace technique for many of my sermons. I love coming up with silly acrostics to remember lists. For example, I always recite “The Hippo Just Put Loose Corn in the Elephant Pen” to remember the things we ought to focus on in Philippians 4:8. “Whatever is True, Honorable, Just, Pure, Lovely, Commendable, Excellent, Praiseworthy…think about such things.” And one of these days I’m going to work on memorizing a deck of cards. There are a number of clever ways to do that. I still make a lot of written lists, too. Just the process of writing out a list helps me remember.

Having said all that, I’ve been converting old journals into digital form (I’m taking pictures of the pages). On those pages are things I’ve done, places I’ve gone, and people I’ve met that I don’t remember. I’m glad I wrote them down. I think my mind is aware of this. If I wrote it down, it doesn’t need to take up space in my brain.

Memory is a fascinating thing.

Posted in Grace, Ministry

A simple greeting

Posted on by William Douthwaite

handshakeAfter the first of the year, a lot of our seasonal worshipers arrive in town, making the first few Sundays of Epiphany a reunion of sorts.

One particular gentleman, usually with his wife, was sitting alone. She was either sick that week or couldn’t attend for some other reason. A few minutes before the worship service began I went over and said, “Hi, great to see you back!” Just a simple greeting and handshake.

The following week he was back, this time with his wife. After worship he came over and said to me, “Thank you for coming over to say, ‘Hi’ last week. I really needed that.” I must have looked puzzled, so he continued, “I don’t like to sit alone and it just meant a lot that you came over. Thanks.”

From this I’ve learned to never underestimate the power of a simple greeting. I also learned a long time ago that there is great blessing in remembering someone’s name when they return the next week or the next year.