Tag: signs

Posted in Life

Weight loss shots: coming to a clinic near you

Posted on by William Douthwaite

On my drive to St. Augustine today, I couldn’t help but notice how many billboards and roadside signs advertise “Weight Loss shots” with a phone number. I wondered, “What do you have to do to be a purveyor of weight loss shots?”

After some brief research, I learned you simply have to be a healthcare provider who agrees to the terms and conditions of dispensing the medications. Not a very high bar.

I also learned that you only need a BMI of 27 and some other health condition to qualify to receive the drug. A BMI of 30, and you’re in. According to what I read, 70 percent of Americans are overweight and qualify. Wow. I don’t. When I check my blood pressure and weight at the HIGI, it says my BMI is 24. I’m not that far away! Yikes.

The information I read told me that along with the medication (Ozempic or Wegovy or some generic) you’re supposed to have a nutrition plan, an exercise regime, and ongoing counseling. Who does all that? I’ll bet very few follow through.

That’s the world we live in. If there is a fix, it will become a business. Like medical marijuana. If I were to stop in a clinic, I’m sure they could justify selling me some edibles. Note to self: make sure you bring cash.

So the landscape will continue to be littered with signs advertising pressure washing, garage sales, and lost pets. I suppose someone will call, but it’s a long shot.

In a few years, we’ll find out how effective these shots are. There will either be lots of unforeseen side effects, and many people will still be overweight.

Posted in Life

Uh-oh. Now you’re in big trouble

Posted on by William Douthwaite

As I sat beneath this welcoming sign outside of Starbucks, I wondered, “How do they enforce these rules?”

If someone from a youth group stopped by and asked for a gift card donation for their summer mission trip fund raiser, would the barista reach under the counter and push the silent alarm button? Do you think the police have a ten code for that?

What do you think counts as “loitering”? A lot of people hang out at Starbucks for a long time, making phone calls, studying for a test, and interviewing for jobs. They use a coffee shop as their office. I suppose you need to buy something if you’re going to spend time there.

The recent remodeling of our neighborhood Starbucks eliminated a lot of seating, making it harder to camp out there.

All of these people were here for a long time. So was I as I watched them. Check out the guy on his second sugary venti drink.

What about trespassing? I guess that would be sitting at the tables after hours. I guess you wouldn’t want someone spending the night under a table out front or out back by the dumpsters.

Signs like this are only hung up when there’s been a problem with people soliciting, loitering, or trespassing. It’s too bad, since the proliferation of signs announcing what you can’t do detracts from really nice parks and buildings. In most places, it seems like you can’t do anything!

Posted in dogs

Security system signs: genuine or fake?

Posted on by William Douthwaite

While walking the dogs this morning, I took note of how many homes have a security sign in the front yard. They aren’t new. I’ve seen them before. I’m so used to seeing them that I usually don’t notice them. But today I saw ADT, Guardian, Vivint, SimpliSafe, Ring, Alarm Pro or some other sign in three-quarters of the homes we passed.

Do you think all those homes have installed security systems? If not, what percentage simply purchased a sign to put in the front yard to deter burglars? Does that work? Can a bad guy spot the difference between a fake and the real thing? Will they play it safe and move on to another home? Or does a security system sign tip them off that there is something of value inside?

I also see cameras on many houses. Are they all hooked up and monitored? How many are just props?

Some houses don’t need any of the above. We can’t even walk by the house without snarling dogs in the window warning us to stay away. I know it’s not foolproof, but I kind of like the canine option. In fact, I enjoy it when a door-to-door security system salesperson knocks on our door, invoking a cacophony of barks and growls. And I am looking forward to that day when such a person sees a fully grown Great Dane looking at them through the front door.

Posted in Life, neighbor

Of course it’s private property

Posted on by William Douthwaite

It feels strange to call a house “lonely,” but every time I walk by, I think, “What a lonely, gray house.” Maybe it’s the signage that has scared everyone off. There’s not just one, but three of these signs on all sides of the house, announcing Private Property: No Trespassing.

Why would you put a sign like that in your yard? It’s not like we’re in the middle of nowhere and someone might wander through and decide to hang out for a while. This is a residential area. All the property is privately owned. Random door-to-door sales people may walk up, but I’ve never thought of that as trespassing. And if someone did want to break and enter, they wouldn’t pay attention to a sign like that.

When I’ve gone to visit some folks who live in the rural, unincorporated parts of the county, there’s often a sign like this on the front gate of a long driveway. Out in the woods or among hundreds of acres of farmland, it’s hard to tell where one property ends and the next one begins. If you don’t know where you’re going, you don’t belong here. I always called ahead to make sure they knew I was coming. There was a good chance I’d be met by someone with a shotgun if I just showed up.

Actually, a sign like that makes me wonder what someone is hiding in that house. I’m curious. What are they making or distributing or storing up in that house? Who was the last trespasser? Whatever happened to them? It is a little creepy. There isn’t much landscaping.

Such a sign doesn’t add to the curb appeal. Along with signs like No Soliciting, No Pooping (even though dogs can’t read), and a sign about who just repaired the roof, it makes the neighborhood look trashy.

But what are you going to do. It’s their property. It’s their private property.

Posted in Life

Don’t do it – or else!

Posted on by William Douthwaite

The sign on the door threatened, “If you let anyone in through the front door when the owners are not present, you will be dismembered.”

Well, OK, I exaggerate. The sign didn’t say dismembered. If caught, you’d be charged an extra month’s membership fee.  

My insurance pays for a gym membership, so I found a 24-hour place a few miles from my home and got back into weightlifting after years of mostly bodyweight HIIT workouts. The owners are on-site from 11 am to 7 pm during the week. The rest of the time, members enter with a fob that unlocks the front door.

I guess some were letting nonmembers in to work out for free, so one morning, a very specific sign was on the front door. Don’t do it. Don’t let anyone in when the owners aren’t here. Or else.

I wasn’t there to work out, but the first time I stopped by to look at the gym, someone let me in the door. They simply said, “The owners aren’t here right now.”

The business is small enough that the owners know all the members. One of them must have stopped by unexpectedly and discovered some non-members working out.

Anyway, I was in the middle of some squat sets when I saw a couple at the front door, reading the sign and peering in the window. A large man got up and let them in through the door with the threatening sign.

They were dressed in workout clothes, but they didn’t stay. “We’ll come back a little later.”

That’s the way it is, right? Rules don’t deter. If a sign is up long enough, soon you won’t notice it anymore. Locked doors pique curiosity rather than keeping someone out. Warnings are for sissies, right?

There’s another sign at the gym: “Rack your weights – in the right place.” Naturally, when I walk in the floor is littered with plates, collars, bars, and dumbbells. When an owner arrives, he spends thirty minutes picking up and putting away equipment. You do what you have to do.

Although I tend to be a “rules” kind of guy (I always put my weights away), I have my kryptonite. I’ll always flip a light switch with a piece of tape over it to see what happens. I like to check out rooms labeled “Employees only.” Are we past the expiration date? I say, “Let’s see if it still tastes good.”

Posted in 2022 Lent Devotions

Miracles

Posted on by William Douthwaite

“Mirror of the Passion” Lent devotion for March 23, 2022. Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

When Herod saw Jesus, he was very glad, for he had long desired to see him, because he had heard about him, and he was hoping to see some sign done by him. (Luke 23:8)

So where have you been for the last three and a half years, Herod? You’re the ruler of Galilee and you never got a chance to see Jesus? Entire towns showed up to see Jesus. Crowds followed him from place to place. You could have caught his show at any number of places.

And let’s face it. That’s all it really was for Herod. A show. Herod wasn’t a believer. He was curious, but he was just part of that “wicked and adulterous generation” who always wanted a miraculous sign.

Do we ever come to see the “Jesus show?” Do we ever come to church simply to be entertained by musical talent or an inspirational speaker? Sure we do. And that’s just fine with the church, who will strive to provide entertainment and inspiration so that you’ll come to the “Jesus show.”

I know that’s harsh. But in our culture, we do expect to be entertained. We expect to be entertained all the time. And while there’s nothing wrong with entertainment, that’s not why Jesus came. He didn’t come to do card tricks or make balloon animals or make an elephant disappear. He came to save us from sin and death. He performed miracles to verify that he was the Savior. He performed miracles to help those who were suffering from so many different ailments. He performed miracles because of his great power and his great love. But he never played to the crowd.

There are plenty of folks who would like to see a miracle. I’m one of them. A wise friend commented, “There are miracles all around us, if you just take time to look for them.” How true. We can talk to just about anyone anywhere in the world at anytime during the day. That’s miraculous. A baby is born, breathes, cries, looks up at you, and smiles. What a miracle! The human eye can distinguish over 10 million different colors. Whoa. A really, really good cup of coffee smells and tastes so good. Same goes for bacon and freshly baked bread. Oh, yeah. You wake up fifteen seconds before your morning alarm goes off. How does that happen?

There are a lot of people who would like to see Jesus, too. I’m one of them. But not just for a miracle. Forever and forever.

Thanks for all the miracles, Lord. Amen.

Posted in Lent devotions

I saw the sign

Posted on by William Douthwaite

“Scenes from the passion” Lent devotion for Thursday, March 25, 2021.

And it was the third hour when they crucified him. And the inscription of the charge against him read, “The King of the Jews.” (Mark 15:25-26)

The sign above Jesus’ head reminds me of some of the dog-shaming photos I’ve seen on social media. Photos of a retriever with a handwritten sign saying, “I ate a whole stick of butter.” Or a dog wearing a note stating, “I ate mom’s lunch. Again.” Or, “I have chewed up five pairs of glasses this week.”

Jesus’ shaming sign read, “The King of the Jews.” Shamefully nailed to a cross, he would have been an embarrassment to every Jewish person as well as himself and the disciples. This is your king? This is the best you can do? Why would we want to take you or your people seriously?

Continue reading “I saw the sign” →
Posted in Rant

Don’t do anything!

Posted on by William Douthwaite

A few weeks ago when I too a walk through the Indian Trails Sports Complex with my dog, Samson, I couldn’t help but notice how negative all the signage is. Take a look and see if you agree.

No pics collage

Not very welcoming, is it? It’s all negative and frankly, a bit depressing. I know you have to have rules and people need to know the rules and follow the rules, but are’t we getting carried away? I only too a few pictures. My tax money was used to purchase many, many more signs like these.

I’ve walked through the complex many times and never really noticed the signs. Do you think anyone really pays attention to them?