Tag: Yard art

Posted in Life

For better or worse: yard celebrations

Posted on by William Douthwaite

Yard art has become a big business. You hire them, an awesome display shows up in your yard over night, your child or significant other is completely surprised, and it disappears a few days later.

Unless. Unless a storm blows through. And then your wonderful surprise ends up looking like the picture on the right. The flamingo party lasted five days. The grad party fell pray to an evening storm the same night. That’s the way it goes.

When my grandson celebrated his tenth birthday, a crop of cutouts appeared in his front yard overnight. I don’t know when they cruised through the neighborhood to set it up, but he was thrilled to see it all the next morning!

I guess that’s the risk you take with this kind of business. Who knows what the weather will be like? Who knows when a storm will blow through. The neighborhood is filled with scholarship announcements too.

One way or the other, everyone will know about your special occasion!

Posted in neighbor, Stories

For your viewing pleasure: Some cringe-worthy yard art

Posted on by William Douthwaite

One person’s yard ornament is a neighbor’s eyesore.

As the days lengthened with the advent of spring, I noticed what looked like a pig in my across-the-street neighbor’s yard one morning. By the time my dog and I returned, there was enough daylight to confirm the sighting. Yes, this five-gallon pig can greets me every morning when I open the kitchen blinds.

Our neighbors have faithfully treated us to a rotating display of horrendous yard art, including a green glow in the dark alien, sexy-legged frogs, and a satanic goat head. They truly believe this enhances the curb appeal of their property as they try to sell their house.

Oh, that’s right, I forgot to mention their house is on the market. I’m of the opinion that any real estate agent would immediately insist, “You need to get all that stuff out of the yard!”

My wife and I have already been plotting ways to help that process along. There is a large dumpster outside a house under construction just a few houses up the street. As soon as it turns dark, we’ll just toss it in!

Another neighbor just had a yard sale. Maybe we could take it up there and add it to their inventory when no one is looking.

We thought about putting a “free” sign on it. Someone cruising the neighborhood for curbside junk would pick it up.

On a whim, I put the photo out there on eBay and Google. Nothing like it out there. Maybe it’s one-of-a-kind. Priceless. If so, make me an offer. I’ll figure out a way to get it to you.