Month: January 2019

Posted in Confirmation Class, faith, Ministry, youth

“I’m going to have to come to church every week!”

Posted on by William Douthwaite

Heard at confirmation class last night: “But Pastor, if I’m going to finish up my sermon reports this year, I’m going to have to go to church every week!” And yes, this comment was accompanied by a suitably horrified face, as if I had threatened to break their fingers.

Their comment wasn’t entirely correct. I pointed out that they needed ten more sermon reports, and that there were at least twenty-two more worship services between now and confirmation Sunday. For some reason, this did not provide them much comfort. They were still a bit disgusted.

The reason I require sermon reports is to stimulate worship attendance. I ask for twelve during the class which meets from September through April. For some reason, families had it in their head that their children could become confirmed members of the church without ever actually participating in the life of the congregation. This is actually the exact opposite of my goal: to equip them for a lifetime of involvement in the life of a congregation.

At the end of every sermon report, I leave a space for “What questions do you have about the sermon?” Ironically, the student who lamented going to church actually did a sermon report last week and wrote this question, “How can someone get closer to God and strengthen their faith?” Yes, I have an answer for them. It goes something like this: God gave you the gift of the church!

I wish I could connect some of these students and their families with those in our congregation who wish they could get to church. For any number of health and family reasons, they can’t be with us, and they would give anything to be able to come. They’d let someone break their fingers if they could come. Well, maybe. You know what I mean. What a contrast.

I’m not going to give up. I truly enjoy teaching this age group, we have a good time, and it keeps me young to hang out with the youth. The evil one keeps whispering, “Why bother?” But I hold on to the hope that maybe the brief time I have with them will be a seed that grows sometime in their life. They may not all get confirmed because some of them won’t actually do anything, but they will get the gospel each and every time I get to teach them. And that is powerful.

Posted in Christmas

I got more religious cards this year.

Posted on by William Douthwaite

This year we received a total of twenty-nine Christmas cards. Unlike previous years, the religious cards outnumbered the secular by 18-11.

I broke out the religious-themed cards into two categories; those that included a baby Jesus, and those that didn’t. Eight of the cards had a nativity. Ten had images of churches, Bethlehem, snowy woods and evergreens with references to the birth of Christ.

All of the cards were very beautiful this year. I know it’s harder and harder to find scriptural cards. You have to look long and hard. But the artwork and poetry make the search worthwhile. Some of my friends sent multiple cards in an envelope, just to make sure which side won this year!

Six of the secular cards were pictures of family. That’s kind of a different category. I enjoy seeing those collages, especially when I haven’t seen them on social media.

I have to admit, we didn’t send out Christmas cards this year. Didn’t send them last year, either. We keep in touch with everyone we know all year round via social media. Sending the cards doesn’t have as much meaning as it did in the past. I’m not sure how I feel about that. Losing the physical to the digital is easy and convenient, but is a little empty compared to holding a card in your hand.

Posted in Ministry

Some high ticket items at…Costco?

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Clearly a power shopper

Not quite a power shopper

You don’t really know you need anything at Costco until you get there. Once you begin wandering the aisles, you suddenly realize you need socks, razors, many, many rolls of paper towels, croissants, berries and coffee pods.

And maybe even jewelry. Until yesterday’s trip, I had never thought to browse the jewelry counter at Costco. But on our way towards the registers, we stopped just to see what they had. I was impressed. An $8,000 watch. A $44,000 diamond ring in a platinum setting. Wow. Really? At Costco?

Would anyone really drop that much money on an item at Costco? Would anyone with that kind of money really be shopping at Costco in the first place? My gut reaction is, “Of course not.” But then again, would they really carry inventory that never sold?

There must be something psychological going on here. Maybe a $25,000 ring looks like a bargain when sitting next to one that costs twice as much. Maybe the $800 watch feels more affordable when next to one you never could afford. Maybe there are just there to make you laugh as you walk away with the $1,000 ring. A sale is a sale, right?

The power shoppers at Costco all push wagons stacked with so much stuff they cannot possible see where they are going. Better get out of the way. The real Costco members buy 30 rolls of paper towels at a time, stock up on twice that much toilet paper, fill their pantry with fifty pound bags of rice, and delight in checking out with a sofa-in-a-box.

I guess I have a lot to learn about discount warehouse shopping.

Posted in advent, Devotions, writing

What I learned writing Advent devotions

Posted on by William Douthwaite

This past season of Advent, I wrote daily devotions which I sent to anyone interested in receiving them. I had about twenty-five folks subscribe, so I was committed to twenty-four devotions, beginning December 1. I chose a selection of bible passages that mentioned darkness and light as the calendar moved us slowly but surely to the winter solstice. The increasing darkness each day was a perfect backdrop for the coming of light, fuel for both physical and spiritual insights. Here are a few things I learned writing this collection of devotions.

  • From the beginning to the end, there are a lot of verses in the bible that mention dark and light. While darkness is used to describe sin, wickedness and death, light brings hope, righteousness and life.
  • Writing daily devotions is hard work. Especially when you’re working from a theme. (I wrote devotions last Lent, too, but used two chapters of a gospel.) Even though each was only three- to five-hundred words, I often struggled to find meaning or application for the passages. This is actually a good thing. It made me stop and think, dig a little deeper, and find personal application. Each one had an important lesson for me.
  • I didn’t get much feedback. Maybe that’s a good thing. My writing could probably use some work. Anyway, you never know who is or who isn’t reading your work. Apart from a few, “I’m really enjoying your devotions,” I didn’t get many comments at all.
  • When you are writing every day, you develop a rhythm. You get into a groove. The more you write, the easier it is to write. I am sure the daily routine improved my writing. It is a good discipline to commit to.
  • I think I wrote more for myself than for others. I wanted to show myself that I could do it. I felt the need to create rather than just consume ideas and insights.

I’m not sure if I’ll do this again. I felt like I could only write once a day, so I put my blog on hold. It took time, maybe ninety minutes or so every day. That’s a lot of time to devote.

But I probably will.

Posted in Ministry, productivity

Do more or pray more?

Posted on by William Douthwaite

There’s a fork in the road when ministry heats up and life gets busy. Either you do more, or “you pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest” (Matthew 9:37). Guess which one I do more often?

If you haven’t guessed, I confess that I conclude I need to do more. I need to spend more time helping more people using my gifts in the service of God. Intuitively, this makes a lot of sense. Spiritually, though, that’s not the path Christ blazed.

That’s the temptation, isn’t it? When you feel like you are in over your head, you should spend more time working harder to get more done and emulate those who do the same. Yeah, like those who brag that they work seventy or eighty hours a week.

Wait a minute. I’m not following them. I’m following Him. And when Jesus needed help, he enlisted the pray-ers around him. “You better pray that God sends some help.” He wasn’t going to put in overtime. He wasn’t going to make the ministry happen. Nope, his approach was different. “You guys better pray for some help.”

That’s my new mantra. When a can’t keep up, can’t carry the load, can’t possibly do it all, I’m going to come clean. “You guys better start praying for help.”

You know, it took me about thirty-five years of ministry to learn this lesson. I learned that I can do a lot. I can do more now than I could before. I can learn new skills, manage my time better, be more productive and optimize my time. But I’m also tired. I’m not the Christ. And not even he tried to do it all. He didn’t bear the burden of saying all the prayers.

Bottom line: “You guys better start praying for help.”

Posted in wedding

Private ceremony, public place

Posted on by William Douthwaite

Not all weddings take place in a church. Today I performed one for Joshua and Jenna at Washington Oaks State Park in Palm Coast, FL. If you’re going to get married on January 3, you might as well do it under a canopy of live oak trees in front of a beautiful rose garden on a slightly-overcast, 80 degree afternoon. The attendance of our small gathering was augmented with other park guests enjoying the walking trails that intersected right where the couple took their vows. It was an intimate moment in full view of anyone who paid park admission.

And both enjoyed the experience. I love seeing the look on the faces of innocent bystanders when they suddenly realize they are part of a wedding. I also love that moment when a couple realizes there are lots of uninvited guests sharing the moment and cheering them on when its time for the kiss.

This isn’t the first time I had a bigger than planned audience. I’ve done ceremonies in a gazebo in back of an elementary school where kids were playing on the playground. I’ve done weddings on the beach, surrounded by sunbathers. I done one at a marina, where we were joined by many boats and boaters. And my favorite was performed in front of dolphins watching from their pool. Usually you don’t realize you have such an audience until the kiss. Then the hoots and hollers say it all.

A number of years ago, I had taken a group of middle school youth to this very park to walk the trails. We wandered right into the middle of a wedding. Some of the kids yelled, “Run!” when the they saw who they assumed was the groom. It was a great moment.

In those moments when I feel ornery, I hope that unexpected guests will crash the wedding, bomb the photos, and shout loud and long during the kiss. It’s fun to pretend you’re all by yourself. It’s even more fun to know that everyone is watching.

Posted in remembering

Just a few 2018 highlights

Posted on by William Douthwaite

Looking through last year’s calendar, here are some of the highlights of 2018.

I traveled to:

  • The Collector Inn with Lisa in St. Augustine, FL in January.
  • Dallas with Lisa to visit my son and his family in March and again in July.
  • Richmond, VA with Lisa while she attended a conference, and also to see Tim and Julie, Brian and Kate, and my Dad.
  • Detroit, MI for the English District convention in June.
  • Springfield, VA to see my dad while my brother was on vacation.
  • Regional pastor’s conference in Ocean City, NJ in October.

As best as I can put together, I prepared and preached 60 sermons, performed three weddings, did six baptisms, and conducted eight funerals.

Grandson Daniel was born September 14 (fourth grandchild). Granddaughter Cameron was born December 20 (fifth grandchild).

My son Adam and his family came to visit Christmas (2017) and New Years (2018). My daughter Kate and her husband Brian came to visit over Memorial Day weekend. They moved in with us for a few months in July and August till their new house in St. John’s county closed.

I started CrossFit with Lisa in October. We remodeled our house in June and July: new floors, kitchen cabinets and bathroom cabinets. We celebrated our thirty-fourth wedding anniversary, too!

Posted in Ministry, remembering, wedding

A moment I didn’t remember. But they did.

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash

I got an unexpected Christmas card/thank you note last week, along with a generous gift, from a person I didn’t know. Well, at least it was someone I didn’t think I knew.

Inside the card were some very nice words thanking me for performing their wedding at their home eight years ago, The person went on to explain some of the challenges they had faced, but also enumerated some recent blessings. They thanked me several times for the meaningful words I had spoken that afternoon.

OK, this was weird. I have a pretty good memory, especially with names. But these names just didn’t ring a bell. I brought up my Google calendar from October 10, 2010, and it was all there. It should have been a memorable day. Not only had I gone to their home that Sunday afternoon at 1:30 to do their wedding, but I then went to another home to do another wedding at 3 pm.

I’ve been keeping a daily journal for decades, so I rummaged through a box of old journals and found the one for the fall of 2010. Alas, I hadn’t written much about that day. I had only mentioned doing two weddings that afternoon before teaching confirmation class.

When I sat down to write a thank you note, I reflected at how an event can be both unforgettable and forgettable all at the same time. What was for me an insignificant task on my to-do list was a powerful, life-changing moment for someone else. A moment that had faded for me was even more vivid for them.

I was honest in my note about not remembering much about that day. But I also mentioned how something as insignificant as a baby in a manger is at the same time a vivid life-changing moment for us. So are the very simple words, “I do.”

When you are on the officiant side of a marriage ceremony, it’s easy to lose sight of the gravity of that moment. Because of moments just like the one above, I remind myself to give such moments my best. It may not mean that much to me, but it means the world to the couple taking their vows. If they long remember the commitment they make when they “repeat after me,” then I have done my job well.