Category: Life

Posted in Grace, Life

Compassion 101

Posted on by William Douthwaite

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After four weeks of helping take care of my Dad, I spent a week at home catching up on visits, meetings and planning for some summer programs. Dad’s has actually stabilized, we’re getting good care from some overnight companions, and we are retooling our hearts, minds and schedules for some long term care.

Those visits I made last week? They humbled me and got me thinking about our capacity for compassion. I thought I was dealing with a lot. I thought I had a servant’s heart. I’m playing “A” ball compared to these major league caregivers. Continue reading “Compassion 101” →

Posted in Grace, Life

Pretty sneaky, Dad

Posted on by William Douthwaite

If you’ve been reading my posts lately, you know I’ve been spending a lot of time with my Dad, who, as far as we can tell, isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. One of the perks of this experience has been the chance to spend time with my brother and sister. But when the call came that Dad might be cashing in his chips, we converged.

We hadn’t been doing much of that lately. Continue reading “Pretty sneaky, Dad” →

Posted in Grace, Life

It’s a small world after all

Posted on by William Douthwaite

you-are-here_2These past few weeks I have noticed how small my Dad’s world has become. This came to my attention last week when at supper, we made sure to keep the bread out of my Dad’s sight. It’s a food he often chokes on, so we don’t let him have any. If he can’t see it, he doesn’t ask for it, and life is good. His reality is quite small, limited to what is in his field of vision.

His daily commute is quite small, too. It’s only a few steps from his bed to his bathroom and about as far to the kitchen table. This is his world now, about a 10′ x 20′ space. He has little interest in the weather, the upcoming presidential election, the news or even baseball. He doesn’t realize all who involved in his care. It’s a small, small world.

I like to think that my world is much bigger. After all, I’ve been doing a lot of traveling these last few years. I know what is going on and keep in touch with people around the globe. I am interested in the weather, elections, the news and sports. But is my world really that big?

The expanse of my experience is really just a small slice of a universe that we see more and more of each day, whether with telescopes or microscopes. I’m not always aware of how much care God provides for me through his angels and other people. My attention is quite often focused on that which is in my field of vision or in the realm of my self-interest. Hmmm. Maybe my world is pretty small, too.

Once in a great while, a window opens and my Dad remembers some of his experiences and travels to places I’ve never been or even heard of. All of a sudden, he’ll begin talking about places he was stationed in the South Pacific during World War II. Or a world where you built furniture by hand, as opposed to putting it together from pieces packed into a box. How about a world where you tuned up your car in the driveway?

For now, though, Dad’s world is pretty small. But just for a while. Before long he’ll get to experience a world without end, that much larger eternity that we were created for.

 

Posted in Grace, Life

More time to hang out with Dad (part 3)

Posted on by William Douthwaite
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Dad doing what he does best: enjoying a snack

For those who have been following the story, it’s been a month now, and we’re still hanging out with Dad. Perhaps it would be better to say that Dad is still hanging out with us. And he isn’t planning on going anywhere soon. Recent tests show that his kidney appears to have regained some function, which we suspected as he resumed much of his daily routine.

Yes, this is good news. And yes, this is hard news. Continue reading “More time to hang out with Dad (part 3)” →

Posted in Life

Still hanging out with Dad

Posted on by William Douthwaite

It ‘s only been two weeks. But it feels like it’s been two months. Two weeks since the doctor said Dad had 10 days left to live. Two trips to Springfield to see him, be with him and now help care for him.

After getting Dad back home, I spent a week with him, expecting a gradual decline and preparing myself for the end. I flew home for the weekend, worked feverishly to get a bunch of stuff done and came back on Monday. Upon my return, Dad mentioned he couldn’t remember the last time he had seen me! Dad seemed to have improved a little. He can stand up on his own; he just can’t go anywhere. For the most part, we only need one person home to take care of him. Dad eats well — especially dessert — but wears out quickly and sleeps a lot. The overnight CNAs are wonderful and a blessing so we can get some rest.

So where do we go from here? Continue reading “Still hanging out with Dad” →

Posted in Grace, Life

Hanging out with Dad

Posted on by William Douthwaite

I got the call last Wednesday night. My sister-in-law found Dad on the bathroom floor, confused and dehydrated. Tests at the hospital revealed kidney failure. The doctor spoke in terms of days and urged, “Tell your family to come.” Continue reading “Hanging out with Dad” →

Posted in Grace, Life

I’m being watched

Posted on by William Douthwaite

4-QuartersMy phone buzzed, I glanced down and saw this text: “Why did you give money to that man?”

It was a text from one of the young people from our church who had seen me hand four quarters to a man on the other side of the Kangaroo station gas pump. I had just finished filling up when I heard him ask, “Sir, can you add anything to this dollar?”

“I’m sorry,” I said, “I don’t have anything.” I rarely carry cash. But when I got in the car, I saw four quarters in the cup holder, left over from when I put some air in the tires. Not much, but what the heck. I got out and handed the man what I had, apologizing, “It’s not much, but here’s a few quarters.” That’s when I got the text.

She was in the car with her grandmother on the other side of the parking lot. I texted back and explained what had happened. She came back, “Ohh…you did a good deed.”

“Yep. Jesus said helping others is like helping him.” Plus a lot more, apparently. Because you never know who’s watching (and in these times someone is always watching). Something like this, which I did without even thinking, made a difference in more lives than I realized.

I’ve been in lots of discussions about who we should help and who we shouldn’t. We get frustrated when we’re taken advantage of, or when someone isn’t grateful, or by the sheer number of people who need our help. It’s good to have these discussions. But it’s also important to remember who’s watching. Like our kids. Or our friends. Or someone we didn’t see.

Posted in Life

No shocks today

Posted on by William Douthwaite

I took one of our cars in for some routine maintenance today, and to replace the rear shocks. I dropped it off took at the dealer where we always get good service, and walked up the street to get a cup of coffee and do little reading.

Shop-car-lift-XSmall.jpgA little later I got a call from the service rep. They had a little problem with the repair. The replacement shocks were bent, and they had to order more from California. When I got back to the dealership, I asked, “How often does something like that happen? Did you have the car up on the rack when you noticed the parts were damaged?” I can just imagine having everything apart, you reach for the new part, and discover you can’t use it! You’d have a few choice words to say at that moment! Fortunately for the tech, the parts guy stopped him before he got too far into the job.

This doesn’t happen very often, and you can’t just run over to AutoZone or Napa to grab a new pair of shocks. My model is manufactured in Japan and the parts are model specific. They did find a set at another dealer in Atlanta, but I can’t go back till next week to get it taken care of.

Shocks are the Achilles heel of this model of car, of which I own two. I’ve hardly ever had to replace shocks on other cars I’ve owned, but these will be the second and third replaced in under 70,000 miles.

I find it interesting that many car parts are very make and model specific. That reality alone means jobs for lots and lots of folks.

Posted in Life

Eye doc

Posted on by William Douthwaite

100922-N-5821P-032I went in for my annual eye exam today. I’ve been doing this since I was ten years old, when I first discovered I was near-sighted and got my first pair of glasses. Today I was again impressed at the expertise of my optometrist, who from my vague comments was able to tweak my vision correction and improve my eyesight.

My visits are a lot more complex nowadays, having gotten much more near-sighted, requiring reading glasses wearing contact lenses, and having been through repairs for a torn retina. With correction, my left eye is cool: 20-20 or better. Right eye (the one frozen and lasered) is fuzzy, cloudy, and out of alignment. That eye isn’t going to improve, will quickly develop a cataract, and will need a procedure for that in the near future.

But for now, it needs some assistance, and the doctor gets to work. Holding a card in my hand, I read the smallest line I can. Not too bad. Looking at the wall, though, I can only see the largest and next-to-largest letters. I used to laugh at the chart. Who wouldn’t be able to see those monster-sized letters? Looking through holes in a mask-like device, the doctor changes lenses and asks, “Which is better — number 1 or number 2?” In a few minutes he has determined the correction for near and far, astigmatism, and the prism to align the images from each eye. All from my comment, “Well, it’s a little fuzzy and not lined up.” To me, it’s a miracle.

After he checks the pressure in my eyes (I aced that test!) he steps out of the room for a minute and returns with a new pair of contact lenses. He pops them in and immediately I can see better. Those little, fragile, kind of pricey pieces of hydrophilic whatever bring my world back into sharp focus. I never cease to be amazed. After I test drive them for a few days, I’ll order a few boxes of multi-focal (like bifocals) lenses. That technology boggles my mind. Additional amazement.

I only wear glasses first thing in the morning and at night, so I haven’t gotten a new pair for a while. Insurance pays for part of new ones each two years, so a nice young lady helped me pick out a new pair. When you wear glasses or contacts getting a new pair is exhilarating!

I’m giving God thanks tonight for a really great optometrist, contact lenses, glasses and the gift of sight,