Tag: anger

Posted in Through the Bible Devotions

On the contrary, bless

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Afif Ramdhasuma on pexels

Some “through the bible” thoughts from 1 Peter 2 and 3.

Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing (1 Peter 3:9).

That’s an amazing admonition for Christians scattered around Asia trying to be faithful in a hostile world. Our world is the same. We war with words on social media. We angrily exchange insults with strangers in stores. It’s so easy to contrive in my head what I would say to someone if I had the chance. Who doesn’t want to give someone a piece of our mind? Our behavior is nothing like that of the one we claim to follow.

When [Christ] was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly (1 Peter 2:23).

So when we’re ready to retaliate, how do we, “on the contrary, bless”? How will my words encourage, build up, or bless someone?

  • James gives some good initial advice: “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” (James 1:19). Pause. Don’t respond immediately. Whatever you’re feeling in the moment will change in a few minutes. Wait until anger subsides before you consider a response.
  • Ask questions. Why is someone so upset? Why have they reviled you in the first place? Some speak from fear. Or they are expressing their own hurt. Or they don’t realize how their words have offended you. Perhaps you misunderstood what they said or meant to say. Open a door and ask, “Why did you say that?”
  • Maybe you had it coming. Maybe you need to apologize. Asking forgiveness defuses conflict and brings grace to the table.
  • Ask, “What can I do?” or “How can I help?” You don’t have to add to the problem. You can bring something positive to the moment.
  • When Jesus was reviled on the cross, he prayed. Bringing God into the mix is a game changer. You don’t have to conjure up a blessing. He’s the source of every good thing.

How will you bless someone today?

Posted in annoying people, Life

“Come on, hit me!”

Posted on by William Douthwaite
This isn’t actually her. But you get the idea.

I got to see a Karen in the wild today. She came out of Starbucks with both fingers blazing and a mouth ready to take a bite out of an SUV that was in her way.

Starbucks was crowded inside, so I had to sit outside at a table. The cloud cover made my shady table spot a pretty nice place to enjoy some ice coffee and do some writing. This particular Starbucks is on a busy corner of a shopping center where you’ll hear lots of horn honking on any given day.

A teenage granddaughter carrying a whipped cream topped cold drink came out trying to put some distance between her and grandma. I didn’t think much of it until I saw the older woman standing in front of an oncoming vehicle, yelling, “What are you going to do? Hit me? Go ahead! Hit me! Come on, hit me!” She raised both of her hands and fingers high, demanding the right of way. The SUV rolled to a stop and the surprised driver just sat there watching the show. Grandma finally stomped across the street to her parked car, and traffic started moving again.

I saw the SUV signal to turn in, so I kept watching to see if the situation would escalate. Would the driver get out and confront her? Box her in so she couldn’t get out of the parking lot? Lean on the horn? I secretly hoped so, but nothing happened. Maybe next time.

Next time came really quickly. A vey nice orange Mustang was slowly rolling into the Starbucks parking lot. The driver made sure we could hear the well-tuned exhaust. He was rolling too slowly for the guy behind him, who leaned on his horn. I chuckled as the Mustang slowed down even more, revved his engine a few more times, and stuck his finger up through the open sun roof.

It’s so entertaining to watch all of this. And it’s all over an overpriced cup of coffee. I hope they all ordered decaf. Everyone needed take it down a notch.

Posted in flash fiction

That’ll teach you!

Posted on by William Douthwaite

“You son of a…”

From my backyard I could hear the volume go up with each expletive and each futile tug on the starter rope. My neighbor was reaching the end of his rope but wouldn’t give up trying to revive the expired lawnmower.

I climbed into the backyard kids fort to watch the kicking, screaming, and frustration reach the point of no return. Suddenly, with surprising strength and the wrath of Khan, he picked up the mower and angrily snapped it in two over his knee! “There! That’ll teach you!”

Now it sits out in front of his house, a memorial to his rage,

Posted in annoying people

PDA (public display of anger)

Posted on by William Douthwaite

I almost got caught in the middle of a street fight yesterday. I was simply waking two Florida brown dogs, Samson and his cousin Kennedy, pausing in front of a vacant lot for a round of sniffing. Suddenly, I hear frantic honking as a car stops right next to us. I wasn’t sure what was going on until another car pulled up next to him, rolled down the windows and unleashed an impressive string of expletives.

Though they repeated and rephrased their rant many, many times, the gist of their complaint was, “You almost f***ing killed us because you were on your f***ing phone.” The driver got out and challenged the other to step out of his car. The gravely-I’ve-been-a-smoker-my-whole-life-voiced woman spewed venomous threats and promises as her white t-shirt clad husband laid down the gauntlet for a fight.

The other driver wisely didn’t get out of his car or even roll down the window. He just drove away. The dogs and I just kept walking as the non-stop hatred flowed from the missing-tooth mouths of these upstanding citizens out in the middle of the street. I wanted to take a picture or a video, but felt it wise to just keep walking.

I don’t know if I’ve ever seen such a public display of anger, hatred and fury such as that. Can you imagine what might have happened if they had a gun? Of it the other guy had stepped out of the car? Or if they had decided to deliberately smash cars to take out their frustrations? I don’t want to get caught in the middle of that.

Just learn how to chill, OK?

Posted in church, Life, Ministry

How many people have you killed in church?

Posted on by William Douthwaite

andrew-dong-387371It hasn’t been three days yet since Devin Patrick Kelley walked into First Baptist Church in Sutherland Springs, TX and opened fire during Sunday morning worship, killing 26 people and injuring about 20 more. You won’t browse the web, watch TV, listen to the radio or talk with family and friends for long before hearing about the incident. Though more information rolls out hourly, there are still so many questions.

“Who was this guy”
“How did he get a gun?”
“Why did he choose this place to kill?”
“What could we have done to prevent this?”
“What should have been done to prevent this?”

We could go on and on. Experience tells us it will take a long time to sort through all the information and unravel the mysteries behind this and so many other shootings.

Of course, we also have to ask, “Could this happen here? Are we safe when we gather for worship?”

I’m a math guy, and I believe the math gives us perspective. There are about 350,000 churches in the United States. Most meet on Sunday mornings for worship. How many had a shooting? Just one. Doesn’t sound like we need to worry about security, metal detectors and locking doors just yet.

On the other hand, 18,000 people are injured and die at home every year. Sounds like you better get out of the house and get to church, where it is much safer! But walk, don’t drive. 3,000 people die in car crashes every day!

Are we safe when we gather for worship? Of course not! “Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). Don’t you think he knows where to find prey on a Sunday morning?

But that’s not where the greatest danger lies. To discover that, we ask a more penetrating question: how many people have you killed on Sunday morning?

Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder’…but I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgement; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the fire of hell'” (Matthew 5:21,22). That’s terrifying. Our worship services, bible classes and council meetings are filled with serial killers.

I know Jesus is right, because I’m guilty of anger, gossip and name-calling on a weekly basis. So are you. And my attitudes and words aren’t just killing others. They are killing me. The wages of my sin is death.

What was the first sin outside the Garden of Eden? Murder. Cain kills his brother. Why mess with little sins? If you’re going to sin, you might as well make it a big one.

Here’s where it really gets interesting. How does God respond to this tragedy? How does God respond to the first mass murder? Think about it: Cain kills 25% of the earth’s population. God asks a question, “Where is your brother?”

God knows. He knows Abel is dead. He knows Cain killed him. What does God want? An admission. A confession. Why? Because if we confess our sins he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from unrighteousness (1 John 1:8,9). Because God doesn’t despise broken and contrite hearts (Ps. 51:17). God doesn’t want the wicked to perish. He want them to turn to him and live (Ezekiel 18:23). He wants us to turn to him and live.

A church sanctuary might very well be the most dangerous place to gather for worship. Despite it’s name, it will never be our safe place. You see, our refuge isn’t a place. “God is our refuge” (Psalm 46:1). Only in the arms of his mercy and grace are we safe.

 

 

Posted in Life, Ministry

And then I hung up on her.

Posted on by William Douthwaite

14ce545acaIt didn’t happen recently. It happened about ten years ago. I don’t remember what the issue was. I don’t know what I did or what I said. But I believe it is the only time I have ever hung up on someone. BTW, we had a landline, a phone on the wall, attached by a coiled cord, that could be “hung up.”

She was a member of our church and she was hot. I honestly don’t remember what I had said or done, but I hit a nerve. From the moment I said, “Hello,” she launched into a tirade of verbal attacks that allowed me very few chances to respond. She was angry, offended and irate. Her words were pointed, vicious, and bitter.

In vain, I tried to interject, “Can we talk about this sometime when you aren’t as upset?” In response she just loaded a new clip and let loose with a fresh round of verbal artillery.

At one point, I actually put down the phone on the kitchen table and walked away. When I returned five minutes later, the onslaught had not stopped. She had no idea that I had left and returned. It didn’t matter. I didn’t even need to be there.

Finally, I said, “I’m going to hang up.” The torrent of words did not abate, not even for the briefest of moments.

And then I hung up on her.

I don’t think we ever had another conversation, if you could call it that. But I know I never heard anything like it before or since. Not during a highly contested election. Not from a couple of boxers facing off at the weigh in. Not from the non-stop, dish-throwing, fat, ugly, arguing couple who lived in the apartment below me in New Jersey. (I promise I’ll tell that story soon.)

And I don’t think I’ve ever hung up on anyone else, either.

 

Posted in Grace, Ministry

Is anger a sin?

Posted on by William Douthwaite

Film Title: The Incredible HulkA couple of Sundays ago, my Church 101 membership class was challenged with the question, “Is anger a sin?” Along with that was the observation that Jesus was angry when he cleared the money changers from the temple in Jerusalem. So the follow up question is, “Is there such a thing as righteous indignation (or anger?)” Continue reading “Is anger a sin?” →