Category: Life

Posted in Life

“There’s a toilet in front of that house.”

Posted on by William Douthwaite

I know why it’s there. I know there’s a new toilet in the bathroom. I know this one will eventually find its way to the curb for trash pickup. But every time I saw it last week (yes, it was out there for a week) I wondered, “Why is there a toilet in that guy’s yard?” I also chuckled as I thought, “Visitors to this house never have to ask, ‘Where’s your bathroom?'”

Parents of toddlers know you might as well have the toilet in the front yard. The minute you slip into the bathroom, little hands start jiggling the handle, wondering where you are.

It’s a statement, isn’t it? Privacy is a thing of the past. Everything that used to happen behind closed doors is now out in the open for all to see.

Cameras are everywhere. We capture every moment (like this one). We leave digital footprints as we read, shop, work, and relax online. Security searches our luggage. We consent to background checks for paid and volunteer jobs. Delivery workers, garbage collectors, and thrift stores know what we consume. GPS reveals all the places we’ve been.

When we remodeled our bathrooms a few years ago, the contractor tore disposed of the old toilets when he tore up the floor tile. So no one knew that we had brand new, sparkling clean, taller, and more water-efficient commodes.

Until now.

Posted in dogs, Life

Happy dog

Posted on by William Douthwaite

I loved watching this dog happily greet every customer who came in the coffee shop. With a grin on his face and his tail a blur, he was glad you came in today, no matter who you were!

I did a quick search to find out why dogs smile. It turns out that a smile means they are indeed happy. Some say it’s a learned behavior. People smile when they see a dog smile. Dogs like to make please their owners. So dogs smile to make people happy. That in turn makes them happy, too.

His tag identifies him as a “medical alert dog.” He’s a working dog. I’m don’t know what he was on the alert for, but I’ll bet he went everywhere his owner went. And his smile proclaimed that he loved his work and enjoyed meeting anyone and everyone he encountered.

I’d like to be like that. I’d like to be all smiles when I encounter another person. I do know that if I smile at someone, they are likely to smile back. And if someone smiles at me, it’s hard not to smile in return.

I think we would all benefit from some therapeutic smiling!

Posted in faith, Life, prayer

Have a little faith

Posted on by William Douthwaite

A few things went through my mind when I pulled up to this car.

First, it’s a Saturn. Saturn stopped making cars in 2010. So I’ll bet this car was about fifteen years old. I think it takes faith to keep taking it out on the road. Although, on the plus side, if the student is still a beginner, a few dents and dings won’t bother anyone.

Second, there is probably a student driver at the wheel. It definitely takes faith to ride alongside first-time drivers day after day. If you don’t have gray hair yet, you will very soon.

Finally, I flashed back to my own driver’s ed experience in high school. I turned sixteen in 1973 and took the class that fall. All I remember from the class was a slide show with gruesome pictures of cars wrapped around telephone poles and the mangled bodies inside of them. The main message: wear your seat belt.

But to complete the class and get a discount on insurance, you had to drive with an instructor in a car equipped with a brake on the passenger side. If things got hairy, the teacher could hit the brake and avoid whatever was in front of the car.

I didn’t get to be in the car until the following summer. By then, I had driven the family car and thought I knew what I was doing. I think I went out three times with an instructor. At the end of the last session, I was winding through some suburban Philadelphia neighborhoods when the teacher slammed on the brake from his side and brought the car to a stop.

I asked, “What did I do wrong?”

He replied, “Oh, nothing. My mom lives here and I just wanted to stop in and say hello.” Thanks for the heads up. By the time he came back out, my heart had stopped pounding and we drove back to the school.

A few weeks later, I asked my mom if I could take my license test. She wasn’t optimistic but took me to the state police station where you took your test on a closed course with a smokey bear hat-wearing state trooper. Intimidating? Absolutely. I thought I blew it when I had to back up our big Ford Falcon station wagon a second time to complete the three point turn. Much to my mom’s surprise, I passed and got my license that day.

Thirty years later taught my own children to drive. Yes, it takes a lot of faith. On the plus side, you also learn a lot about prayer!

Posted in Life

An impressive scowl

Posted on by William Douthwaite

I was so impressed/intrigued by the scowl on this man’s face that I looped back around an aisle kiosk in Walmart to get his photo. It’s not like he was an anomaly among a store full of happy shoppers. He just wore on the outside what most were feeling on the inside.

So he wasn’t in line at the pharmacy. He wasn’t waiting in a long, slow-moving self-checkout line. He didn’t seem to be with anyone. He was just standing. Standing in the middle of Walmart.

Anyway, I wonder what’s going on in his mind. How’s his day been going? How long has he been standing here? How long would he just stand there?

Maybe he’s hungry. His watch says 12:05, so he might just need a little lunch.

He could be waiting for someone. Waiting and waiting and waiting for someone to decide what they wanted off the shelf.

He still had his sunglasses on inside the store. He may have been frustrated because he couldn’t find his glasses.

Is he working undercover security? I can’t see his right ear. Perhaps a voice is speaking through an earpiece, “Keep an eye on the woman in line at the pharmacy.”

Or once again, someone said to him, “Wait right here, I’ll be back in a minute.” That minute turned into thirty.

As I watched him for a moment, I flashed back to a youth mission trip memory. Stopped at a Waffle House, we watched a man leaning up against the wall, smoking.

He looked angry. Angry that he was smoking. Angry at having to be at the Waffle House. Angry to be alive. Angry.

Note to self: the next time you’re out running errands, remember that anyone can capture your grumpy/irritated/angry face. Crack a smile and make them wonder why you’re happy.

Posted in garden, Life

Time to tackle some yard work

Posted on by William Douthwaite

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

It was a gorgeous March day in Florida and I had nothing else on my schedule. Clear skies and temps in the seventies. Time to tackle some yard work.

I cut and trimmed the lawn. I pruned back all the dead branches from some of the backyard plants that had gotten bitten by a few sub-freezing days last winter. I finished moving landscaping rocks from a pile on the side of the house to the edges of the backyard gardens. Then I raked out tons of pine needles and weeded. Finally, I raked everything up and filled some yard waste bags to put out next week on collection day.

During one of my water breaks, I sat under the shade umbrella, felt the breeze, and thought about the whole yard/garden work experience. It’s not something you can rush. Slow and steady wins this race. Most tasks involved persistent, repetitive action. I loaded up and carried about 40 buckets of rock. Back and forth, back and forth. I cut twenty-two-inch wide rows across the lawn. Back and forth, back and forth. I sat and weeded section after section of the garden, leaving behind pile after pile to rake up. I pruned branch after branch, clipping them into smaller pieces and slowly filling bag after bag. I sprayed grass and weed killer along the fence line, killing off the grass that insists on growing where it’s not welcome.

I spent most of the day outside, slowly but surely getting the work done. The sun felt so good. Shade from some of the trees felt so good. The breeze that came in through spaces in the fence felt so good. The Amaryllis looked as if they were ready to bloom any minute. I’ve always enjoyed the smell of newly mown grass, until my allergies realize what is happening and start to clog up my sinuses.

I wouldn’t want to spend all day every day doing yard work. But some days I wouldn’t want to be any place else. I need a healthy dose of vitamin D from the sun. I need many breaths of fresh air. I need to hear the birds singing in the woods around me. I need to feel the dirt between my fingers. I need to feel the power of the string trimmer and the leaf blower in my hands. I need to see how many more lilies are poking up through the soil this year. I need to think about the new flowers and plants I will add this year.

For the moment, I can savor a completed task. It is a fleeting pleasure, for there are more tasks to be done. The grass’ growth accelerates as the days grow longer. Thankfully, I will have many other days in the yard and garden.

Posted in Life

Working with wood

Posted on by William Douthwaite

Photo by Chandler Cruttenden on Unsplash

Four years ago I built a wooden play fort and swing set in my backyard for the grandchildren. Since then, some of the boards dried out and rotted, even though I treated them with some sealer. So it was time to replace some of the boards.

I was able to find some decent pressure-treated wood at the big box store and got to work. As I measured, cut, drilled, and screwed the new boards in place, I realized how much I enjoy working with wood. It is so satisfying to slice through a plank with my miter saw, blow away the sawdust, and feel that nice, smooth cut. As I drill each pilot hole and sink each deck screw, I love watching the boards pull tightly together.

As I work, I remember what my dad taught me about working with wood. My grandfather was a carpenter. I believe he mostly framed houses, but he may have done some finish work, too. He would not let my dad work that trade, though. My dad had to go to college and become an engineer. But my dad learned the craft from his father and passed it along to his sons.

When we cleaned out dad’s house before we sold it, we found my grandfather’s homemade toolbox and tools. It weighed a ton. It contained saws, hammers, chisels, planes, an auger and bits, and a few nail sets. All human-powered. I use a lot of power tools: a miter saw, cordless drill and driver, jig saw, nailer, router, and sander. But I can still work with the hand tools, too, thanks to dad.

Dad taught me how to mark a board with a carrot shape rather than just a line. That way there’s no question about where to make the cut.

Dad taught me how to start a cut with a saw, up against the side of a knuckle. Yeah, you get a few cuts that way, but slicing through a piece of wood with a nice sharp crosscut saw feels amazing.

Dad taught me how to drill holes by hand. I love watching the curls of wood come up from the hole as the auger sinks deeper and deeper into the board. After doing a few of those I knew why Dad had such big forearms.

Dad taught me how to start and drive nails straight. And how to straighten them out when they bent. And how to not spilt the wood with your nails.

I might have enjoyed being a carpenter. I never got to do wood shop in high school. I was too busy taking college prep courses. Instead, I learned from dad, from putting up shelves and fixing things around the house, and building play equipment for the grandkids.

I wonder how different my life would have been had I pursued a trade.

Posted in Life

The slowest way

Posted on by William Douthwaite

Photo by Luca Ambrosi on Unsplash

All I had to do was mail a small package, returning an unwanted product. I usually use the self-serve kiosks at the post office. Ah, one is open. I touch the screen and get this message, “Unable to do anything right now.” Fine. I’ll wait. But the guy at the other kiosk is standing there, with a package on the scale, trying to figure out what to do next.

OK, I’ll go wait in line. Three people ahead of me. Sweet. I can do this. Within minutes, a hand goes up and it’s my turn. I step up to the window, hand over my package, and say, “Send it the slowest way.” I get a chuckle from the post office worker as well as the people around me.

In the past, I might ask for the cheapest or quickest way to mail something. This time, I didn’t care about the arrival time. Put it on the bottom of the pile, and load it onto your slowest truck, the one likely to break down on the way. Whatever.

How often do I ask for the slowest something? Rarely. I want the shortest line with the most experienced cashier at the grocery store. I drive up to the window for fast food. I like my GPS to take me on the fastest route possible. I can read a book much faster with the Kindle app on my phone than holding a printed copy.

When is it better to slow down a little? To take a slow rather than a brisk walk. Prepare food in a slow cooker rather than the microwave. Read a book slowly and thoughtfully. Wait in the longer line and talk to someone.

What else can I do in the slowest way?

Posted in Life, Travel

$199? Are you kidding?

Posted on by William Douthwaite

We were pretty excited when we saw short lines for bag drop at the Spirit Airlines counter at Orlando International Airport. Just before a hand went up to summon us to an open scale, I heard a man exclaim, “A hundred and ninety-nine dollars? Are you kidding me?” (Yes, he used more colorful language.) He hadn’t paid for checked bags in advance and both suitcases were over the forty pound limit. That’s not a happy way to start your journey. Clearly, he was a rookie Spirit traveler.

On our way home from Dallas, we found a few seats behind the gate desk. I overheard a man exclaim, “Ninety-nine dollars? You gotta be (add your colorful adjective here) kidding.” His carry-on bag exceeded the 18″x14″x8″ dimensions for a “personal item,” so he was going to have to pay. His wife added, “We never had a problem before.” I subtly wandered over just to see how big those carry on bags were. His backpack was about double the allowed fatness. Hers was an open, overstuffed tote bag. When he pulled out a wad of cash, the agent said, “I can only take a credit card.” His face got a little redder. His wife handed over a credit card and said, “Fine. We don’t want to be those people.”

“$99. Are you ^%$&^* kidding?”

As we waited to board the plane, I watched gate agents tell passenger after passenger to put their unpaid carry-on in the “personal item” size box. They know what’s not going to fit. It’s entertaining to watch people try to stuff huge bags into that little space. Guess what? You’re going to pay.

The gate agents who had to deal with all of that were well trained. They had awesome people skills. Good thing, because they had to deal with a lot of challenging people.

One of my new hobbies is travel hacking, figuring out how to make the most of cheap fares. I am amazed at how roomy a 17″x13″x7″ backpack can be. My wife and I both had one of those and one checked bag. Sweet.

So here’s some of what I’ve learned about traveling cheaply:

  • If your travel days are flexible, you’ll save money. Some days are cheaper than others. That’s just the way it is.
  • If you must check or carry on a large bag on Spirit or Frontier, pay for it when you book your flight. You’ll get the lowest price.
  • Buy a backpack or roller bag within the personal item guidelines. It will hold so much more than you think. Ladies, pack an empty purse inside your personal item and load it when you arrive.
  • Lay out everything you want to pack. Put half of it back in the closet and dresser. You’ll be fine. You can wear some clothes two times.
  • Buy your toiletries when you get to your destination. Our Airbnb had soap, shampoo, conditioner, and toothpaste in the bathroom.
  • Wear your jacket and hat. Put stuff in your pockets. Once you’re on the plane, stash them away. No need to take up luggage space.

This time, our flights were the cheapest part of our last trip to Dallas to see my son and his family. Next up: reign in the cost of a rental car, which is getting ridiculous.

Posted in Life

The Lenten Devotion scam

Posted on by William Douthwaite

In 2018, I began writing Lent devotions to accompany my midweek sermons in the six weeks leading up to Easter. I’ve sent them out as daily emails, I’ve posted them on my blog, and this year I sent out the whole collection on Fat Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday, the traditional church season of Lent.

In response to my email, received a phone message: “This doesn’t sound like you. I think you may have been hacked.” And an email, wondering, “Did you send out devotions? I think you may have been hacked.”

The only thing I did differently this year was to open the door to Venmo donations for my devotions. I spent about one hour one each devotion. After editing and publishing, I figured I spent about sixty hours on this most recent project, “One of those days.” When I sent out the collection of devotions, I simply added, “You can support future devotions with a donation” and a Venmo address. No pressure. No paywall. No obligation. Not even an ask.

Danger, Will Robinson! Scam alert! Red flag! I commend all who wondered if this was legit. Yes, be on guard against any and all kinds of scams. But I also want to remind you of what looks like a scam and what doesn’t.

First, the scam won’t come from someone you know. Look at the email, not just the name. Look familiar? Then it’s legit. A long string of letters and numbers? No bueno.

Next, a scam will ask you for money and give you nothing in return. My email gave you devotions for free and asked for nothing in return. Obviously not a scam.

Finally, think for a moment. Who sends out Lent devotions to get into your personal information? Is that even a thing? Have you fallen for that scam in the past? Who else out there is giving you something for free?

You can all relax. If you want the devotions, email me: padrebill57@gmail.com. I’ll send it to you for free. Want to donate? Venmo something to @padrebill57.

Wow, just think of how much money I could have walked off with if I had thought of the Lent Devotion scam years ago!