Tag: Life

Posted in retirement, time

Four years? Already?

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

I’ve been retired for exactly four years. My last Sunday worship service was July 17, 2022. It’s time to reflect on this chapter in my life.

First, I am not bored. I have never been bored. For all who wondered, “What will you do when you retire?” or “How do you pass the time?” let me assure you that my life is full. My life is full of the same people and experiences, as well as lots of new ones.

I had lots of extra-vocational pursuits during my career as a pastor. I practiced music (guitar and trumpet), wrote (blog posts and devotions), exercised (everything from running to weight-lifting to Crossfit), gardened, and cooked while I worked. Retirement meant more time for those things. I learned bluegrass guitar, continued to write, re-created much of the gardens and landscaping around my home, learned how to make sourdough bread and sugar cookies, and walked many neighborhood miles with a giant dog (hello Willow, the Great Dane).

My family continued to grow in size (from eight to ten grandchildren) and ability (baseball, dance, soccer, basketball, flag football, reading, and crafting). I had time to watch, cheer, and help them create. I love the privilege of grandparenting.

Church and worship were a challenge. I didn’t move away, so I was told to separate from my church for a year. Let the new pastor settle in. Don’t get in the way.

Okay. Problem is, churches of my denomination are few and far between in these parts. One just to the north. Felt mechanical and sanitary. One to the south of us. Lots of struggles.

I tried an Evangelical Free church. Good preaching. Conservative theology. Friendly people. Great fellowship with men. Before I knew it, I was engaged with a men’s bible class, a couples small group, and teaching middle school youth. I also gained a better understanding of my own faith as well as the fervent faith of other Christians.

Turmoil at my retired-from congregation led me to worship at the church just to the south of us. They were seeking a pastor, aligned with all of my beliefs, and needed some of what I had to offer. I felt much more at home here as I plugged into their mission and ministry.

Along the way, my wife encouraged me to try out an online Bible Study Fellowship group. This group of men, weekly meeting via Zoom studied the bible in-depth and developed surprisingly good online relationships. After a couple of years, I became a group leader. I’ve learned so much from the group I lead, and from the training required to be a leader.

A couple of years into retirement, my wife and I started a small business making custom iced sugar cookies. She was the artistic arm of the business while I helped with the bookkeeping, making cookie cutters, and baking. I learned a lot about accounting, 3D printing, and edible ink printing. It was challenging but not profitable, so I also learned about closing a business.

Most recently, I’ve been asked to fill in for vacationing pastors. I’ve enjoyed the Sunday morning preaching and teaching experience without much of the daily work that happens in-between weekends. I remember how much I appreciated preachers who covered for me during vacations, and I am happy to provide that for others.

Since I’ve retired, I’ve got two new dogs. One is small: a White West Highland Terrier we adopted from an older couple. One is giant: a Great Dane we picked up from a breeder west of here. Dogs bring much joy to my life.

I’ve met so many people since retirement. Some in person, some online. All have been a blessing, and have helped me become the newest, best version of me.

I think that’s a lot of what retirement has been. I’ve transitioned from a life measured by what I do to who I am. From activity to being. That’s been the best part.

I no longer say I’m busy. Instead my life is full. Full of people, places, and experiences. It’s so much better than I ever imagined it would be.

To be honest, I don’t miss it. As much as I loved pastoral ministry, preaching, and teaching, I do not miss the weekly pressure of sermon preparation, endless non-essential meetings, and impossible expectations that accompany that profession. Retirement came at just the right time for me. Burnt out? Perhaps. Time to explore a new chapter.

Without a doubt-waite. Lol.

Posted in pastor

A hospital visit

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

It’s been a few years since I made a hospital visit. Our pastor is on vacation and since I’m filling in for him for a few weeks, I got the call about a member being admitted from the emergency room.

I’d been to this hospital many times. It was familiar, but different. The automatic entry didn’t open as I approached, a sign pointing me to the other front entrance. Stanchions guided me past a security guard and through a metal detector. That was new. A receptionist found the room number for me, took my picture, and printed out my photo visitor ID tag for the day. This was a new procedure for this location.

I made my way to the elevators. One thing that hadn’t changed was waiting for an elevator. All four working elevators were up at the top floors of the hospital. The stairs were right there behind me, so I took them to the third floor.

I had a great visit. The patient gave me the usual, “You didn’t have to come all the way down here.” I’m thinking, “Of course I did. That’s what pastors do. That’s what the church does. “I was sick and you visited me” (Matthew 25:36).

Our conversation was punctuated by a tech drawing blood and a nurse checking in. I didn’t stay long, knowing that when you’re not feeling well, a short visit is always better. After a prayer I was on my way.

I’m always fascinated with all the activity in a hospital. I marvel at the choreographed flow of doctors, nurses, techs, and other caregivers. I’m in awe of the medical technology. I’m fascinated by the healing process and all that goes into it.

I learn something new about diseases, medications, treatments, and wellness every time I visit someone. I appreciate the opportunity to continue my education!

Posted in Through the Bible Devotions

Good morning, AI

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Steve A Johnson on Unsplash

In Morning Brew this morning: “Bet you can’t go a whole day without hearing about AI.”

I’ll bet they’re right.

How did I encounter AI today?

My washing machine and dryer both have AI settings. Apparently the machines can determine how much laundry you have, how dirty it is, the best temperature, and the length of cycle. Most of the time, the machines make good decisions for me.

Every Google search gives me an AI summary at the beginning. My search yields many other sources, but the upfront summary is useful.

I think many customer service chats are handled by bots. They often do a good job of resolving my issue.

A lot of the commercials on my streaming services are related to product searches I’ve made. Somehow, my phone, TV, and computer are all connected.

The very fact that I can get next day delivery of an item means somebody somewhere knows what I am likely to want, and stocks the closest warehouse before I think about it. That’s got to be all AI driven.

I daily ask Alexa about the weather. She also plays the stream from my favorite radio station.

Google maps routes my trip based on traffic, anticipated delays, and construction along the way.

My robo vacuum cleaner knows my house and cleans the room I send it to.

I’ve used AI to draft a reference letter. A little editing and it was ready to go.

Just like that, AI has infiltrated my life. So far, it’s all good. But that may not always be the case.

Posted in Food

Pressure and donuts

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Time to make the donuts!

We met our daughter at a Dunkin’ to bring her three daughters home for an overnight sleepover. Since we were there, why not take home some munchkins? The drive thru lane was clogged, so I said, “I’m just going to go inside to order.”

Inside, the place was hopping. It only took a few seconds for me to realize no one was going to be taking my order at the register, so I stepped up to the video kiosk and tapped in a twenty-five piece assorted munchkin order.

As I waited, I watched the crew efficiently handle a barrage of drive-thru, mobile, and walk-in orders. I was fascinated by a monitor over the drive- thru register that monitored greeting time, wait time, prep time, and delivery time. Some numbers were green (I assumed that was good), while other numbers were red (needs improvement). Every fifteen seconds or so, the screen would change to one that compared the performance of other Dunkin’ stores in the area.

This busy store was #12, about halfway down the list. I watched as the headset-wearing crew filled bags with donuts, made sandwiches, poured coffee and other drinks, lined up bags of food, and handed them out the window. The eight employees moved around each other and worked well together. I don’t know how they could have moved up in the standings. Maybe the other stores weren’t as busy?

The greeting time was immediate. Perfect score there. Order fulfillment? About a minute and a half. Red numbers. Pretty good if you ask me.

However, I waited eight minutes for my bag of munchkins. Had I stayed in the drive-thru lane, I would have been out of there in about four minutes. I knew that my wife and three granddaughters would be impatiently wondering what was taking so long.

But what could I do? I had already committed to the walk-up kiosk. Drive-thru is the priority. Get ’em in, and get ’em out as fast as you can. I could order on the app. They love that. Walk up to the register? Hello, boomer!

Posted in mathematics, people, Travel

Unexpected Encounter on a Flight

Posted on by William Douthwaite

On my flight home from Dallas I verified the timeless adage that one ought not judge a book by its cover.

As we like to do, we were the last to board our flight to minimize our time sitting in the economy section. Just ahead of us was a short woman with a substantial carryon bag stuffing popcorn into her mouth from a large bag. While we had the middle and aisle seats in our row, guess who had the window? You are correct, this very woman concealing another carryon bag under one of her jackets.

She couldn’t fit her carryon under the seat in front of her, so we convinced her to put it up in an overhead bin. With one of her jackets against the window, she fell asleep for the next ninety minutes.

With about an hour to go before arrival, she woke up and got out her laptop. I was reading from the Kindle app on my phone, looking out the corner of my eye to see what she was doing. I immediately recognized mathematic equations, matrices, theorems, and proofs. The article was about Cholesky factorization. This was interesting.

I asked her, “Are you a teacher or a student?”

“I’m a teacher.”

I told her I recognized some of what she was reading, although it had been a long time since I saw anything like this. I told her that I had an undergraduate degree in mathematics, did some programming, and then switched my career trajectory to theology and pastoral ministry.

She asked me, “Why can’t you do both?”

With a chuckle I explained that my studies enabled me to help my daughter through AP calculus and help my grandson through pre-algebra. I told her I had programmed for Bell Laboratories in the early 80’s.

She asked, “Fortran?”

“Yes, and some Cobol.”

She told me that Fortran is a programming language still used in her field, even though most current programmers use some iteration of C or Python. It just works better for some applied math applications.

She added, “See? You can still do that!”

I laughed. It’s been forty-five years since I programmed with Fortran on pre-PC, room-filling IBM mainframe computers.

I asked, “Where do you teach?” It turns out she is from Brazil, has her Ph.D. in applied mathematics from the University of Arizona, and teaches at Texas A&M.

I am so glad I broke the silence and engaged in conversation. Something in me still comes to life when I come across math and mathematicians in this world.

Posted in Life

Not busy. Full.

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash

I decided to frame my day with a different word. Instead of busy, I’m going to define my life with the word full.

“Busy” sounds stressful, tiring, and negative. “Full” suggests something positive, satisfying, and appealing.

Busy lives are occupied with those who drain your energy. Full lies are fueled by those who energize and lift up.

Would you rather be busy or full?

What if the interruptions, requests, and appeals were those things that filled your day? What if they gave you something rather than taking something from you?

That’s the difference. And you determine the difference. Did you simply give? Or did you receive?

I desire days full of learning, experiencing, doing, and being. I’ve learned to love days filled with people, places, and events. Those same days could be characterized as routine, dull, and boring.

Or they might be described as full.

It depends on your perspective. If I don’t get everything done, it might just be a day filled with people I love, the rest my body needs, and time to figure out what’s really important.

Most of my days are full. I am rarely bored. I have places to go, people to see, things to do, new experiences, and interruptions.

Busy? Nope. My life is full!

Posted in Through the Bible Devotions

The breath of life

Posted on by William Douthwaite

Some “through the bible” thoughts from John 20.

It’s the evening of resurrection day when Jesus appears to all but one of the disciples in the locked upper room. Twice he said, “Peace be with you.” “And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit'” (John 20:22).

This time around, I made the connection. At the very beginning, “the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature” (Genesis 2:7).

God shows Ezekiel a valley full of dry, lifeless bones and commands him to prophesy. Ezekiel does, and “the breath came into them, and they lived and stood on their feet, an exceedingly great army” (Ezekiel 37:10).

God’s breath gives life!

It’s that time of year when our neighborhood plays host to every imaginable Christmas lawn inflatable. They lie lifeless until someone plugs in the fan that breathes air into them. Santas, snowmen, penguins, the Grinch, and dogs in Santa hats all come to life!

  • New parents check on their sleeping infants, to make sure they’re breathing.
  • I’ve been in hospital rooms where the rhythmic sound of a ventilator reminded all of our mortality and the blessing of medical technology.
  • It doesn’t happen very often in Florida where I live, but on a cold day you can see your breath. A glimpse of the divine?
  • After a tough day of guarding the house, my dogs breathe very heavily on the love seat as they catch up on their sleep.
  • Every air mattress now comes with a built-in inflator, alleviating the need for lots of huffing and puffing before bedtime.

If I’m breathing, I’m alive. God gives me my first breath, blesses me with daily breath (ands bread), and will see me through my last breath in this world.

I’ve been there for some last breaths. I’ve been there when families have pulled the plug. I’ve been there in the hospice room waiting for that last breath. I’ve held my dogs as the vet put them to sleep and they took a last breath.

What a joy to know that God reverses that, and when we take our last breath here, we take our next with him!

Posted in Through the Bible Devotions

What are you doing here?

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

Some “through the bible” thoughts from Luke 24.

“Why do you seek the living among the dead?”

We do it all the time:

  • Turn the key one more time, even though the starter won’t even click because the car battery is dead.
  • We search around through containers of fuzzy leftover food in the refrigerator, hoping to find something edible.
  • Birds build a nest in a flower pot near my front door. I went out to see the eggs every day, until the day when there weren’t any. I don’t think they hatched. I think a lizard ate them. But I still peeked in every day or so, just to make sure I didn’t miss new ones.
  • When I need some help shopping in a big box store, I futilely scan every aisle to find someone in a blue or orange vest. Not a single soul to be found.
  • I show up at someone’s house for a visit. I called ahead to set up a time. Upon arrival, no one answers the doorbell and then a knock. I peer in the windows around the door. No lights are on. No one is home. They forgot.
  • Why do many return to cemeteries after the burial of a loved one? To complete unfinished conversations? To have the last word? To keep memories alive?

Just like the women who showed up at to tomb at early dawn on the first day of the week, we go to places of death. The angels who appeared are surprised to see the women. “Why do you seek the living among the dead?” Don’t you remember what he told you? Don’t you remember how the prediction of his crucifixion was followed by the promise of resurrection? What are you doing here?

We can’t help it. Death is the end of the story for leftovers, batteries, and human life. Until Jesus rewrites the ending. Until we encounter an empty tomb. Until we remember what he said.

Where will you look for life today?

Posted in Through the Bible Devotions

A few more years

Posted on by William Douthwaite
Photo by Richard Burlton on Unsplash

A “through the Bible” devotion from Isaiah 38.

Hezekiah is one of Judah’s better kings. According to the writer of Kings, “he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, according to all that David his father had done” (2 Kings 18:3). He purged idolatry from Judah and restored worship of the one true God. When threatened by the Assyrians, he turned to God for salvation.

When an illness threatens his life, Hezekiah also turned to God. He prays, “O Lord…restore me to health and make me live!” (Isaiah 38:16) God hears his prayer and gives him fifteen more years of life.

However, during those fifteen bonus years, his son Manasseh is born, arguably one of Judah’s worst kings, doing evil in the sight of the Lord (2 Kings 21:2). He assumes the throne at age twelve, and undoes all the good his father did. Because of his actions, God declares he will bring disaster on Jerusalem and Judah (2 Kings 21:11,12).

Would things have turned out differently if Hezekiah had not lived those fifteen additional years? What if Manasseh had not been born? What if another son had become king and continued Hezekiah’s spiritual reforms?

Early on in my ministry in Florida, a ninety-year old member fell off a stool while having his picture taken for a church directory. He was in serious condition, but recovered and lived fifteen more years. However, over the next fifteen years, his son and daughter became embroiled in disagreements, hearings, and lawsuits about the care of their parents. At one point, seven different lawyers were involved as the courts decided who would get power of attorney, guardianship, and control of the assets. In the end, I believe the lawyers ended up with most of the estate. Sure, he lived to one hundred and five years, but the family conflict continues twenty some years later.

There’s got to be a lesson somewhere in this. We pray for health, healing, and long lives, not knowing what will happen down the road. Sometimes, God grants our request. But sometimes he doesn’t. Did you ever stop to think that the latter might be better?

All of that gives you a lot to think about. But don’t overthink it. God knows the number of your days, and has a purpose for short and long lives, from conception to last breath. Be grateful for today. Enjoy his daily morning mercies (Lamentations 3:22,23).