Category: Ministry

Posted in Ministry

How we started a “puppet ministry”

Posted on by William Douthwaite

One night I was spending the night at church for Family Promise and some of the kids needed something to do. Now, I have a drawer full of toys in my office, so I knew I could find something to play with. I I have some rubber snakes, plastic army men, a couple of Nerf guns, a box of Turkish Delight, Marchbox cars, a big button that says “That was easy” when pushed and…a box full of finger puppets. Finger puppets! That's what we can do! Sea creatures, people, various animals and birds. Success. The kids sat and played with them until bedtime.

Now, here's the fun part. Weeks later, someone asked our volunteer coordinator about our “puppet ministry.” <blush> Um, yeah, well, you see…our pastor is really just a big kid and has these toys and…that's how we started a “puppet ministry.”

 

Posted in Grace, Life, Ministry

What Family Promise did for our church

Posted on by William Douthwaite

family promiseFamily Promise is a fairly new resource in our area that provides temporary shelter for families experiencing homelessness. It involves local churches who provide a place to stay, meals and other support, enabling families to stay together as they take steps towards obtaining employment, transportation and a home. Churches provide a week’s worth of hospitality four times a year. 

Our church was literally dragged into this program by a family who insisted we be a part of our county’s effort to establish a chapter of Family Promise. While that family is no longer connected with our congregation, we found ourselves unable to find any reason why we shouldn’t or couldn’t do this. We had the space, the volunteers, the resources and the heart to minister to these families, so we became a host church.

A year later, after five different weeks of hosting, I find that for us, it’s not so much what we did for Family Promise, but what Family Promise did for us.

First, Family Promise exposed us to the name and faces of families experiencing homeless. Most of the time, when we talk about the homeless, we know they are out there, but we have no idea who they are. We may have seen someone in that situation, but we never met them. Now, we’ve broken bread with them, heard their stories, played with their children, worshiped with them and prayed for them. And we still do.

Family Promise blew up our capacity for compassion. We thought we were a compassionate, caring and loving congregation. Our guests took us to the next level, sharing their lives with us, caring about our families and gratefully accepting whatever we could offer them. In a way they took us under their wing and helped us rediscover the importance of family, of hope and commitment.

Family Promise brought people in our church together. Some of our volunteers had never met each other before. Our guests enabled new friendships to be forged.

Family Promise made us work hard and do things we didn’t want to do. We had to recruit volunteers, move furniture, buy food, prepare meals, clean, do laundry, spend the night, get up early and make our church home a safe home for the families. We actually had to do something rather than simply make a donation. We had to live the reality these families faced every day.

Family Promise showed us a different side of ourselves. You don’t get to know someone very well when you are sitting in worship on a Sunday morning. We got to see each other talking with the parents, playing with the kids, taking out the trash, and drinking coffee first thing in the morning. No better no worse, just real people doing real stuff in the name of a real God.

Finally, Family Promise opened our eyes to what’s possible when you drag yourself away from the TV, a comfy bed and the Internet for a while. You don’t need a ton of resources to make a difference. Just a little love.

Posted in Ministry, Rant

“Why I quit my church.”

Posted on by William Douthwaite

I quitThat’s the title of a book, article, blog post or email you will rarely if ever read. And that’s just a reality pill I sometimes have to swallow.

I began thinking about this just a few months ago when I got a one line email from members of our church reading, “We will not be attending anymore.” That’s it. No explanations. No conversations. No warning. And I had just seen them in worship a few Sundays before.

Earlier in ministry I would have gone into panic mode, thinking, “What did I say? What didn’t I say? What did someone else say? What if all the families start leaving?” But with a few years experience under my belt and a calmer spirit, I simply picked up the phone, called them, and left a message, saying that I’d like to talk to them. Their response? They resent the email, thinking that I hadn’t gotten it. I guess there wouldn’t be a conversation.

Hmm. Just like that. As I mentioned above it happens from time to time. Sometimes there is a little more information, like, “Well, we wanted to try something different.” Or “We really feel led to look for another church.” Once I got a “I’m not ready to talk about it yet.” But usually all you get is silence.

So to get some perspective, I thought about some of the members we’ve gotten from other churches. One family came because they wanted a later worship time. Another needed a cooler room. Another had friends at the church. And I know that none of them had a conversation with their pastor. They just started shopping at a different store…I mean, worshiping at a different church.

I also had some good friends tell me that sometimes, God wants or needs that family at a different church. They were being prepared at your church to be a much-needed blessing elsewhere. I kind of like that.

If I weren’t a pastor and attended a church, what would I do in their shoes? I might want to explain my decision. I might avoid a conversation. I might hide behind a generic email. I might want the freedom to walk away, to try something new, or make a change.

In any event, I’ve learned not to take it too personally. The church is fluid around the edges, with people coming and going all the time for all sorts of reasons. If I miss them, then they will be a blessing to someone else, and that is a good thing.

What’s the best way to quit your church?

Posted in Life, Ministry

The wrong church

Posted on by William Douthwaite

For a change, I answered the phone last Thursday while I was still at church finishing up my sermon for Sunday. It turned out to be a most unusual phone call.

I always answer, “Shepherd of the Coast Lutheran Church; this is Pastor Douthwaite.”

“Hello, pastor. This is K**** (name changed to protect the innocent). I visited your church on Mothers’ Day and I was hoping you could tell me more about the ship’s bell in your entryway.

Sometimes we have unusual items in our entryway, or narthex, especially when we are promoting Vacation Bible School. One year we actually had a ship’s wheel on display. I thought really hard about what might be out there, but finally said, “We don’t have a ship’s bell here.”

“Sure you do. You must be mistaken, pastor.” Really. You’d think I’d notice something like that, especially since I’ve been through the narthex almost every day for the last six years.

I decided to investigate a little more. “You attended Shepherd of the Coast?”

“Yes ma’am.” Respectful, but just a little off the mark.

“On Pine Lakes Parkway, on the west side of town?”

A moment of silence. “I think I may have called the wrong church.”

“Maybe.” Click. Conversation over.

Attend the church of your choice this weekend. Take note of any nautical items you see. Glance at the church sign. Pin the location on your maps app. And have a great week!

Posted in Grace, Ministry

A better question to ask

Posted on by William Douthwaite

At a recent pastor’s conference, one comment really caught my attention. “How is our community benefiting from our church’s ministry?”This question was suggested to replace some of the usual barometers of ministry, such as

Is our attendance increasing?
How many new members do we have?
What kind of activities does our church offer?

Those kinds of questions tend to be inward focused and self-serving. The question, “How is our community benefiting?” is outward focused but harder to answer. I can count the number of people who show up for a worship service on Sunday morning. But how do I quantitfy our church’s impact on the community?

  • How many families are fed with the food donated for the resource center’s food pantry?
  • How many parents are now praying at the request of their children who learned to pray in our preschool?
  • How many of our youth are a positive influence among their classmates in the public schools?
  • How many children in the after school Bible club we sponsor have come to faith in Jesus?
  • How many children in Haiti have led their parents to Christ through our partnership in their school?
  • How many people have been blessed, strengthened and healed through our prayers for them?

Those kinds of questions not only make me thankful for the far-reaching influence of the church, but remind me that there is so much more to do.

Posted in Ministry

Eight ways to get your pastor to visit you

Posted on by William Douthwaite

Pastors (at least I do) spend a good deal of time visiting with people. A visit might take place in someone’s home, a coffee shop, a hospital, or at the church. If you’re hospitalized, homebound, or recent guest at worship service, you can usually count on a visit.

But what if you don’t fit into any of those categories? If you’re healthy and regularly attend worship, chances are the pastor won’t be stopping by. So how do you get the pastor to visit you? Here are a few tried and true (and intentionally humorous) strategies for receiving a call from me to set up a visit.

Have a baby. I love to come see the little ones! A litter of puppies works almost as well.

Buy a home. I’ll come out to bless it.

Get engaged. We’ll get together for premarital counseling.

Open a restaurant. I’ll stop by for lunch. A coffee shop works, too.

Mention your desire to make a significant donation.

Allude to your desire to teach Sunday School.

Decide it’s time to get serious about those evil spirits wreaking havoc in your house.

Got a tiki bar? I’ve got a blessing for that, too.

Yes, you too can be a good member and still get a visit from your pastor!

Posted in Ministry

A virtual member

Posted on by William Douthwaite

I’ve done pastoral ministry for nearly twenty-five years and I still come across situations I’ve never dealt with before. The most recent happened this week when I was updating some church records. I was going to delete an individual who hadn’t worshiped with us for several years and hadn’t responded to letters, phone calls, emails, etc. But when I hit the delete button, the database program alerted me to the fact that he had made a contribution in 2011. What? 2011? I know I haven’t seen him in years. it must be a mistake.

So I checked with the people who count our offerings and enter contributions in the database. Not only did he give an offering, but he made a pledge for this year in response to our stewardship program! Really?

Now what do I do? What do you do with a member who only exists in a database but not in worship or the life of the church? This is one of the reasons being a shepherd and watching over a flock is a lot harder than it sounds.

Posted in Grace, Ministry

My therapy?

Posted on by William Douthwaite

A chore recently turned into therapy.

Yard work was until yesterday a necessary chore, just part of being a homeowner. But yesterday, as I raked up bags and bags of dead grass from our lawn, I realized I had stumbled across something therapeutic.

The last week or so has been rough. After a busy weekend hosting our friend Lophane from Haiti, all h*** broke loose. My friend Bud found his mom dead in her apartment. A couple of elderly members were admitted to the hospital in really bad shape. And another, David, was facing major surgery. I’ve dealt with all of these kinds of events before, but this time they just seemed to pile up in a way that left me feeling drained.

Monday morning found me in a pretty bad mood, as was pointed out to me by my neighbor. I came home early that day and to tackle the front yard raking and within half an hour, found myself feeling much better. The beautiful afternoon (we live in Florida, so some February days are indeed beautiful!), the rhythm of raking and the sense of accomplishment made me feel relaxed, refreshed and renewed.

Well, I thought, if this task eases the stresses of ministry, then I’m going to be out here everyday, doing something in the yard. If this helps me unwind, then I’ll be out in the yard every day if I can. Today I stopped and bought some flowers to replace everything that died in last winter’s freeze. I didn’t have a lot of time; just enough to get them all in pots and watered.

I don’t know if it’s being outdoors, or getting my hands dirty, or just focusing on something besides ministry, but I like it and I’ll be out there again tomorrow.

Posted in Life, Ministry

A 90-minute plan

Posted on by William Douthwaite

I’m always looking for better ways to manage my time and get things done. Tony Schwartz’s 90-Minute Plan for Personal Effectiveness is surprisingly simple and effective. I’ve actually only tried it once, but found it very productive. My office can be such a distraction-filled place that for this to work, though, I either need to shut the door and turn everything off (email, phone, windows), or get out of there altogether.