Posted in Rant

Why aren’t you going to church?

From time to time, I call people who are members of our church who do not attend worship at our church. I guess I should say they rarely attend worship. It’s always an interesting conversation. I don’t have to tell them why I’ve called. They immediately know. As soon as I say, “Hi, this is Pastor Douthwaite,” they interrupt and say, “You know we were just talking about you, and we were just talking about how we need to get back to church, and even though we’ll be out of town this weekend, we’ll be there the following Sunday.” All in one breath. A scripted response. They know exactly what to say. At least they think that’s what I want to hear.

Even though all of our members promise that they will remain faithful to the church, even to the point of death, from my experience there are always a few families that haven’t attended in over a year, and that includes Christmas and Easter. Even if they begin to attend or their names are taken off the membership rolls, other families will take their place. I’ve concluded that this is just part of the nature of the church.

Of course, in some of these conversations, I learn why people don’t go to their church. They travel. They or their children are sick. They have guests from out of town staying in their homes. They worked a lot over the past week and are too tired. They were re-tiling their floors. There was a soccer (or baseball or football) game. They had a rough week. Imagine using all those excuses for not going in to work. I imagine you wouldn’t have that job very long.

Reasons for not attending I never hear are, “We don’t like you or your church. We disagree with what you believe. We aren’t getting anything out of your sermons. We don’t like the music.” Could it be that most people join a church without any intent of actually attending on a regular basis? Perhaps we do not clearly express this expectation.

Posted in Rant

Would you send a secular Christmas card to your pastor?

Do you send out secular Christmas cards?

Would you send a secular Christmas card to your pastor? You know, a card that has snowmen rather than shepherds, a winter scene rather than a nativity, or winter birds in the snow rather than angels in the sky?

I get a number of secular cards each year from the members of my church.

Now before I get too preachy, let’s ask, “What are some legitimate reasons for sending a non-religious Christmas card to you pastor?”

  • It’s possible  that some people cut expenses by buying something on sale. Let’s face it, some of the card boxes sold in religious bookstores are pricey. So I can understand that.
  • Or, perhaps most of their friends aren’t Christian, so I get the same as everyone else. I guess I can see that, too.
  • How about this: “He knows what Christmas is all about, so I don’t need to send him a message about the real meaning of Christmas.”

I’m not sounding very convincing. None of those thoughts really impress me as a good reason to send your pastor a “Happy Holidays” card with a cardinal (the bird) or Santa by a palm tree on the front. I spend weeks and months and years preaching Christ and this is what you get. Either I’m not communicating clearly or the seed is hitting some pretty bad soil, which Jesus said would happen. In some ways, I’d rather get a Hanukkah card — at least it’s got a connection to the Light of the World.

Posted in Rant

Christmas in November

Christmas in November?

It’s hard to say how many Facebook updates, tweets and emails have told me that families have already set up their Christmas trees, hung stockings, and put up lights on their houses. It has become a badge of honor to have all your Christmas preparations done before Thanksgiving. Are you kidding me? Are you for real? Has anyone noticed that it’s not even December yet? Is there anyone who hasn’t pressed the fast-forward button from Halloween to Christmas?

This is a really hard reality for me. When I was growing up, we decorated for Christmas on Christmas Eve.  The lights might have gone up on the house a few days before that.

Basically we have no Advent. Thanksgiving is just a drive-through meal as we pull off the interstate highway from Labor Day to a new year.
How can anyone not get sick of Christmas when we start it 6 weeks out? Or more. Lots more.

Sorry. This is definitely a rant. You see, as a pastor, I don’t think we can survive an eight-week Christmas celebration. What started as a hardly-noticed night has become two months or more of the music, shopping, and decorations.

Have we become so desperate for something that makes us feel good that we will simply stretch out a pretty happy day into weeks and weeks and weeks of celebration?

Personally, I think the guys doing Advent Conspiracy (google it!) or Hole in the Gospel are onto something. A little less Christmas and a little more Jesus just might do us some good.

Posted in Ministry, Rant

We gather together…

We had our usual Thanksgiving Eve worship at church today. Actually two times today, once at noon for those who don’t drive at night, and then again in the evening. Each year, the attendance goes down. In the evening, half of those who came were the choir. A quarter were small children (pre-schoolers), which made me think maybe we could try something different.

I like having some kind of Thanksgiving worship, but wonder what we could do that was a little more interactive, a little more family-oriented, a little less formal, and perhaps a little more attractive. I think it’s important to have something, a time to give thanks together, but I’m not sure what it should look like.

I’m going to research some alternative types of worship, activities, gatherings, something different than the usual I grew up with. Maybe wii-thanksgiving.  Some interactive thing we make to take home with us. Something we can share with each other. I’m certain I can find something.

Posted in Rant

Bake sale?

A week ago, our church’s youth group had a bake sale to help fund next summer’s mission and youth gathering trip. At least that’s what was advertised. When I walked by, though, I noticed it was nothing but some store-bought donuts and muffins on a plate, with a donation basket nearby. The youth in charge that Sunday had forgotten and their mom went out and grabbed whatever at the convenience store.

Now I don’t want to be inflexible about bake sales. The goods were indeed baked at some point in their lifetime. However, I’ll bet more was spent than was donated that day.

Who came up with the idea of a “bake sale,” anyway? Who can lay claim to having the first bake sale in history? Wikipedia had no information, but did note, “A major selling point of bake sales is the supposed and often advertised homemade nature of the goods being offered, but with the proliferation of prepared cookie dough and boxed muffins and cupcakes, this claim has become increasingly dubious.” So I’ve learned.

Posted in Rant

All my friends were

Sitting in Starbucks the other day, I overheard the following conversation:

“You mean she just wanted to get pregnant?”

“Yeah.  All her friends were.”

On one level, that at exchange makes having a baby sound like something you do because all your friends are, like going to a party or getting a tattoo (or both). On another level, it sounds like someone who didn’t want to be left behind or miss out on something important. You can’t always find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, but you can always (usually) have the experience of having a child.

I wonder how the church will deal with families that have this dynamic. I’m not sure we’re prepared for this. We seem to do much better with one mom, one dad, one marriage, and some kids.  Few families are like this anymore. I am convinced God doesn’t love them any less, its just that we weren’t ready for something so different.

In the Old Testament, guys had lots of wives, lots of kids with their wives, and even more kids with servants, concubines, and prostitutes, so in a way, I guess we’re really not breaking new ground. God did some amazing things in those families, so maybe I should expect to see more of his grace.