Posted in Life, Ministry, work

Cuttin’ the lawn for Christmas

img_8001.jpgI’ve lived in Florida for over twenty-one years and it still blows my mind that one of the things on my Christmas to-do list is “cut the lawn.” Granted, the days are a bit shorter, so the grass grows a little slower and I only have to cut and trim once a month or so. But for a guy who grew up in the northeast, it feels really strange to on sunblock and a hat, and do yard work in shorts and T-shirt just two days on Christmas Eve eve!

On the flip side, I enjoy the hour I spend cutting and trimming. (I like it better than bundling up to shovel snow.) Even though it is yard “work” there is something very relaxing about the sound of the mower, the smell of the freshly cut grass, the fresh air and the pattern of neatly cut rows. Today was especially nice: blue skies, just a few wispy clouds, 70 degrees with lower humidity, and just a hint of a breeze. No interruptions, no phone calls, songs going through my head, a bumper crop  of pine cones to pick up and toss into the woods, and the satisfaction of a completed task.

That last benefit is rare. Oh, I complete a lot of tasks, but rarely get to see the results. The “results” ministry are matters of the heart and soul, both of which I can’t see. The rewards are often eternal rather than temporal. I don’t get to see what happens after you go home from church, or I leave after a visit, so I don’t have a concrete metric for ministry. I’m OK with that. As Paul reminds us, we plant and water, but God causes the growth. Someone else somewhere down the road may harvest what I plant today. There may not be fruit for generations, long after I’m gone. That’s all in God’s hands.

But I can cut the lawn. I can care for the little “yarden” God has given me. And I can sit back and enjoy a little sabbath when it’s all done. Amen!

Posted in dying, Life

I unfriended twelve people today.

AAEAAQAAAAAAAAp-AAAAJDUzYTY4ZjE1LThlNDQtNDM2MC04ODg1LTZkYWQ5YjkxOWRmMwThey were all dead.

I noticed that I had almost nine hundred friends on Facebook. I know many have more than that. I also know that I don’t follow the lives of that many people. I probably see the updates of about ten percent. On a whim, I decided to scroll through all those I counted as my “friends.”

Some I didn’t even know. <unfriend> Some people showed up three or four times. Restarts or hacks. <unfriend> But then, someone came up who died last year. Another from a few years ago. Twelve deceased among my “friends.” <unfriend>

A few thoughts about that:

  • When you die, your online self lives on. It’s kind of like eternal life, but not really. I’ll bet when you die, a lot of folks don’t even know you’re gone. They still send you birthday greetings.
  • Some of the deceased were actually better friends than those still alive. I’ve stopped following more than a few living friends because I couldn’t stand to see what they posted, they never posted, or they posted too many times a day.
  • In a strange, macabre way, I wish my dead friends could post something. Wouldn’t that be awesome. Tell me a little about heaven. Or hell.
  • I’ll bet you can create a bot that will post for you after you die, so that most don’t even know you are gone. The bot will create status updates, share photos, and send birthday greetings. You could be immortal if you planned it right.
  • Or, I could begin my posts with the caveat that I am dead, and communicating from heaven (or hell). Some people would believe it. And that would be awesome. Y’all want to hear from the beyond. I’d be happy to oblige.

Hey, you don’t even know if this is me or a bot. Mind-bending, isn’t it? Good name for a blog: “Blogging from the beyond.”

 

 

 

 

Posted in Life, minimalism, productivity

Just drinking coffee. Period.

IMG_7949A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting in Starbucks, in between appointment, drinking coffee and scrolling through some Reddit stuff when — get this — this guy came in, sat down, and did nothing else other than enjoy his coffee. That’s right, no phone, no book, no tablet, no computer, no friend to talk to, nothing. He just sat there and sipped his venti whatever. I can’t say that I’ve ever seen someone do that before. There were plenty of other people there, some like me focused on a smartphone screen. A few were engrossed in their laptops. A couple of friends were talking.

I began wondering, “Would Starbucks even exist if we didn’t have our electronics to amuse us and their wifi to connect us as we drank lattes and ate scones?”

You do it and I do it. Whenever we sit down – in the car, in church, in the bathroom, watching TV, at concerts, at work, in a restaurant, at the pool, at the gym, stripped naked waiting for the doctor to come in – we pull out a phone to find out what’s going on. I’m sure sociologists and psychologists have a field day with this behavior.

I think I may have seen another guy do this at a bar. He was just sitting there drinking a beer. He wasn’t doing anything else.

I might have to try this. I’ll let you know what happens.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in God, Life

Too many emotions

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Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Here we are, just nine days away from Christmas, and I am conducting a funeral tomorrow afternoon. I know, death doesn’t take a holiday. Anything can happen around the most festive days of the year as well as those which seem quite ordinary. There really isn’t a “good” day for a funeral, is there?

But when it happens near a significant holiday, there is a challenging dynamic. It’s already an emotional time of the year, filled with excitement, memories, expectations, travel and celebration. Add to that a few tablespoons of grief, a few ounces of sadness, a pinch of fear, and a large measure of mortality, and you’ve got quite a stew of feelings to deal with.

It’s like too many emotions at once. Why can’t we deal with just one at a time? We could grieve today, then put that aside to consider our mortality, and when that’s over, spend time with family for support and comfort. It never works out that way. You have to handle all the feelings at once, from the tears of missing someone, to the joy of having family together, to the guilt of not having said or done more, to the memories stories that create laughter. You cry, compose yourself, laugh and find some comfort, only to feel the tears well up once again. You think, “I should be able to handle this,” and “I just can’t handle this” simultaneously. You’re a mess.

You know what? God created that mess. He made you. With emotions. And they aren’t a bad thing. When Jesus was born, he came with a whole set of emotions. Since he was the sinless Son of God, emotions can’t be a bad thing. They are just part of the package of being a person. Of being you. Jesus cried, grieved, felt compassion (felt like a punch in the gut), anger, despair, frustration, joy, loneliness, peace, love, amazement, and probably a whole lot more. And we like the fact that he was emotional. We can relate to that.

So it’s OK to be an emotional mess. At a funeral, at Christmas, on your birthday or on Tuesday. It’s just part of being you, someone wonderfully and fearfully made in the image of God, who by the way, is very emotional in the Old Testament as well as in the gospels. He’s jealous of you, laughs at those who challenge him, grieves over sin, gets angry at times, but loves his people to the end. What? God’s an emotional mess? Thank God!

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in lessons, Life

I don’t want to have to go there.

Bunnell - Recent A_largeI had to go to the county courthouse today, more formally known as the Kim Hammond Justice Center. My name wasn’t on the docket or anything like that. I just had to drop off an affidavit at the clerk’s office to get my name back on the list of premarital counseling providers in the area.

I’d been there before, and we don’t live in a large, densely populated area, but it is still an imposing and uncomfortable place to go. There is no parking near the front, so you have to make a long walk up the brick walkway to get to the front door. Of course, you empty your pockets, walk through the metal detector and get scanned by the officers on duty. Long empty hallways stretch to either side as you decide which way you need to walk.

When I finally reached the clerk of courts office at the end of the hall, another long line of attended desks behind glass greeted me. I picked one and stated my business, only to be called to another station. The person glanced at my paper, said, “OK, you’re all set,” and I was on my way.

On the way out I wondered, did they design this place to send the message, “You really don’t want to have to come here”? Was it designed to impress or intimidate? It is meant to be in its own way a deterrent? If so, it served it’s purpose today. I don’t want to have to go there!

 

Posted in Christmas, Life

Take your time

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Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

This comment caught my eye the other day when I quickly glanced through some social media: “Our Christmas tree lights are on, Christmas candles are lit, presents are about all wrapped; it’s the most wonderful time of the year.”

When I read that, I felt sad. These words were written on November 30. This person made it sound like Christmas was a task to be completed, and the earlier the better. When did the goal become “get ‘er done?”

What about the places we’ll go to see the lights, hear the music, sing the carols, and eat the food? What about the travel plans we’ll make to be with family and friends? What about the memories yet to create, the laughter to be heard, the food to be prepared, the stories to be told, and the photos we’ll capture as we spend the time together?

Rather than a destination, Christmas is a journey. (Spoiler alert: I’m going sound theological here.) It’s the journey of the Creator to his creation, the journey of a couple to have the baby, the journey of the angels to announce the news, the journey of the shepherds to see the Savior and their return to tell about what they saw.

I, for one, don’t want to get there too quickly. There is so much to see, hear, and experience on the way! And I don’t want it to be over too quickly, either. Christmas has a wonderful “finish” that lingers in our hearts and minds, enduring flavors of hope, love and joy that are meant to carry us through the ups and downs of life.

 

Posted in advent, Christmas, Life

A wonderful, beautiful, minor key.

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Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

At noon and then again this evening at our midweek Advent worship services, I realized that all the hymns I picked out were in a minor key.

Songs in a minor key sound sad, melancholy, foreboding and desperate. And yet, I love the minor keys. They sound so real, passionate and gutsy. They don’t soar like major keys, lifting our hearts, but dive deeply, into the depths of our souls.

Really? At Christmas? The “most wonderful time of the year” which is designed to be “merry and bright?” Whoa, big guy, it’s not Christmas yet. It’s Advent. It’s still a time of reflection, repentance and even desperation. Good thing. We need help.

Like an endless line of dominoes, those in the public eye are falling to allegations of inappropriate sexual misconduct. A seemingly endless obituary of innocent victims shot at concerts, in schools and on the street floods our eyes with tears and minds with fears. Smartphones connect us with more people than ever, yet we sit home lonelier than ever. Rockets take us closer to Mars, and bring nuclear weapons closer to our homes.

Jesus steps into that world. He was condemned for inappropriate contact with people you weren’t supposed to be near. He was innocent, yet condemned and executed. Surrounded by crowds, he ended up on the cross alone. He spoke of leaving this world, which was coming to a violent end.

Anyone see a connection here? First, there’s nothing new under the sun. We’ve been struggling with these issues for a long, long time. Second, we can’t seem to fix the problems. They keep coming up over and over again. Third, our fears of the end are legitimate. This world will not last forever.

Thank God! This is not what He intended, nor what we were created for. We need a new heaven and a new earth. Soon. Churches like ours that observe Advent pray long and hard for that. We know that is our only hope.

But at least we have hope. We have something to look forward to. As a musician I know that if you raise the third just one half step, you will feel the lift of a major chord, and it never fails to thrill me. I love those hymns, so close, so achingly close to a resolution, a major key, and new life.

Posted in Life, seminary

Thanksgiving memories

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Photo by Alison Marras on Unsplash

I’m surprised that I really don’t have a lot of Thanksgiving memories. I really like the holiday, especially preparing and consuming the food. I had to really work to come up with memorable moments from the past.

In high school, the last football game of the season was played on Thanksgiving morning, also marking the end of marching band season. We always played a non-league game against Interboro, a tough opponent from a few towns away. After graduating, that was the game you attended to catch up with all your friends who were home for break.

The only time in my life I remember going out for supper on Thanksgiving was when we went to visit my wife’s Aunt Dot who lived in King of Prussia, just outside of Philadelphia. I’m pretty sure we drove down from Connecticut that year and met my in-laws there. My daughter Katie found it hysterical that her name was “dot.” We went to the mall, the largest in the area at that time, the next day to people watch more than shop.

My Thanksgivings while I was attending seminary were spent at my in-laws home in Columbus, IN. The first time I had just finished Greek and went with my classmate, dorm-mate and future brother-in-law Jeff, who, if I remember correctly, had a pretty nice looking sister who was in her last year at Indiana University. A year later I got to return, now dating his sister but not yet engaged. I think that is when I wrote my first poem for her. (I am sure she has it somewhere.) I don’t remember going there when I was in my final year, but I’m sure we did. Lisa would have been about six months pregnant with Adam that year.

Last year was supposed to be Thanksgiving at our house, but we had a change of plans. With Isaac (grandchild #3) only six weeks old, we decided to take a drive to Dallas to spend thanksgiving with him and his family. The year before I had decided to have our Thanksgiving worship the Sunday before, freeing up the week for travel, and it paid off. After worship on Sunday, we hit the road, spent the night in Pensacola, and arrived in Dallas on Monday night. Three solid days in Dallas, got to hear my son preach and did lots of grandparent stuff.

I do remember that Thanksgiving worship was on Thanksgiving Day when we were in Urbandale, Iowa. Ugh. Never did that before. It was always the night before in Ridley Park, Connecticut and Florida. But I wasn’t the boss, so it was what it was.

I remember all my trumpet descants for the Thanksgiving hymns, too. I may not be playing them, but I sing ’em on the last verse. Still got that tenor range.

OK, I guess I did have a few memories. One of these days, I’ll look at my journals — I’ve got decades of them. That ought to stimulate my memory.

Posted in Life, seminary, Uncategorized

White or wheat?

downloadFourth year of seminary education. Married. One in the oven. Time to get a job to make ends meet. Subway is taking applications. Why not?

I was hired at a store on the south side of Ft. Wayne, about twenty minutes from our tiny (before tiny homes were fashionable) home. Back then, the menu was simpler. Only two kinds of bread: white or wheat. Two kinds cheese: American or Swiss. No cookies. No toasted subs. Old school. We didn’t wear gloves, just washed our hands a lot. Cleaning the bathrooms was as gross though. Some things never change.

Since I was about ten years older than most of the crew, I often closed the store at 2 am. One night, just before I locked the front door, a man came in, pointed a long barrel revolver at my head and said, “Give me the money.” Since we dropped the cash about every half hour or so, there was less than $20 in the drawer. Impatiently he demanded, “Just give me the whole thing.” I handed him the money tray and followed his instructions to lay face down on the floor. After a few moments of silence, I locked the front door and called 911 and the store manager.

I was pretty shaken up by the time I got home around 4 am. The assistant store manager was more upset that the thief took the money tray than he was about the stolen cash. I worked a few more shifts after than, but as call day and graduation approached, we were making plans to move…somewhere. We didn’t know where our first call would be for a few months.

I’m always nice to workers at Subway. I get to do what I do today because of people just like them!